DOGGY IS NO LONGER WITH ME TODAY

I was still on the public bus NO. 202, on my way home when my mother called me, asking where I was. Then she said that my father was digging a hole outside the house, leaving the dog dead in the living room. She was just telling me to wait for her if I am too scared to go home and saw Doggy like this unexpectedly.

DOGGY IS NO LONGER WITH ME TODAY

I was shocked and I felt kind of uncomfortable during my way back from the bus stop. I saw people walking their dogs along the street. A young lady hugging two dogs, one in each arm, crossing the street while talking gently to these two babies.

I hadn't noticed dogs with strangers today had my dog not taken her bow away from my life this evening. People couldn't help noting something they have just lost since the pain of losing it may sharpen their attention to the congener relevant.

She died of difficulty in giving birth to her four babies, with babies suffocated in her belly. I am not feeling well imaging how hard she had tried to get the little dogs out and give them a brand new world away from darkness and silence, somewhere different from her womb. It is difficult to tell how hopeless and sorrowful she was when she realized that she lacked the strength to show her kids the world outside her body. It feels like that my breath gets jammed in my chest as if I had seen her unwillingly closed her eyes while her babies keep struggling underneath her skin. It may be desperate when a dying mother knows that her children will follow her till the end. I am sorry that it happens to my dog.

Doggy may be considerate and she was gone an hour before I arrived at home, so I see no blood, no remains of her, no sign of struggling or pain. The house is clean, my family gets plenty of time to clean up everything around. So she left in a decent way, without showing me the weakest and most horrible part of her life. She passed away as if she had never been to my life. I find in panic that I have nothing of her but photos. I won't hear her snoring in her sound sleep, find her under my bed and have to invite her out with a laundry rack right before I go to work, or see her running toward me when I appear behind the door. But I am glad that every little thing about her happened once.

I am sorry that I have avoided you coming near after you get bugs on your fur. I am sorry that I have mentioned that I hate your smelly butt these days. I am sorry that I said you are not so smart and swift as you used to be. I made you the first post in my WECHAT moment three years ago. Now I am sorry that it will be the last thing about you posted. Then I keep you as a seed in my memory.

DOGGY IS NO LONGER WITH ME TODAY

Doggy, I will remember you in my own way.You are not alone with your babies around. May you rest in peace.