一、邮件写作场景
你是 Li Ming，是北京大学公共健康学院（Peking University School of Public Health）的研究生。每年 11 月中旬，你们学院会举办一个就业促进活动。在这之后，学生会去知名公司和组织参观，有的学生会在毕业时加入其中的机构。
今年世界卫生组织总部（WHO headquarters）也在参观名单中。WHO 在预防疾病和提升公众健康方面起着不可替代的作用。很多北大校友加入了 WHO，为更健康的中国和世界做出了贡献。WHO 也是很多公共健康学院学生梦寐以求的就业机构。
今年有 15 个学生想参观世界卫生组织总部，时间灵活，可以根据 WHO 的安排来组织。
二、写作任务
现在你需要向 WHO 写一封请求参观的邮件。写作时：
1. 介绍自己的名字和院系
2. 清晰、简要介绍为什么想要参观 WHO 总部
3. 确认是否可以接待 15 人的参观团，以及具体的参观时间
三、注意事项
1. 邮件标题可有可无
2. 如何称呼收件人（你不知道收件人的姓名）
3. 恰当分段
4. 不超过 200 个单词（含标点符号）
01 开头：
Dear Sir or Madam,
I am a graduate student from Peking University School of public Health, and I am writing to request a visit to WHO on behalf of my school.
Dear Sir/Madam,
I am Li Ming, a master degree’s student of Peking University SCHOOL OF Public Health.
美国：master/phd都将graduate student.
开头段把信息阐述清楚，这里用了and来连接，而且在第一句话里直接表达了写信的请求：I am writing to do sth…… 我自己在写的时候没有写出来～要告诉别人你要干嘛，第一时间做什么 ～
02
Every mid-November we organize an employment promotion event in my school. Shorty after the event, students go to visit prominent companies and organizations.
Ever year our school will hold an activity for career promotion and students will have a tour for landing a job or visiting.
先说时间会更好点，Justin写的很清晰和简洁，Justin用的是一般现在时态，我用的是将来时，就业促进活动—-我的：hold an activity for career promotion —-organize an employment promotion event; 我的：students go to visit prominent companies and organizations —-Justin :students will have a tour for landing a job or visiting.
我写的时间没有具体到mid - November, school 指的是school of public health. college一般指代本科学校，指学院，Harvard college表示哈佛本科生
03
WHO is a dream institution for many. It plays an irreplaceable role in preventing diseases and improving health. Many Peking University alumni have joined WHO to help build a better and healthier China and contribution to a wider world.
WHO plays an irreplaceable role in preventing diseases and promoting public health. Many alumni of our university has become a member of WHO to make greater distribution on health in China and world.
WHO is a dream institution for many, 可以灵活的换换， 注意单复数，检查检查呀，make a contribution to …搭配写错了，注意alumni发音美 [ə’lʌmnaɪ] 复数哦； 很多国外的大学的经济来源是靠校友捐赠的 ～ alumnus（男）; alumna（女）;
写完后最好检查下，可以发现很多的问题。
04
In an effort to follow their footsteps, a group of students would like to visit your headquarters. I was wondering whether we could take a guided tour. If yes, What time would be good? The visiting time is highly flexible for us.
In addition, WHO is a dream institution that many students of public students want to go. There will be 15 students who want to visit WHO headquarters this year, is it ok? And if convenient, please tell me the specific time.
15 — a group of students would like 用来表示意愿，意思比want更加的委婉和客气，In an effort…衔接的更好，I was wondering whether we could 。。。。高频用法，good在这儿表示convenient方便合适，highly就可以取代highly。
05
A visit means a lot to us. Thank you, and looking forward to hearing from you.
结尾处没有这样写，结尾处缺少致谢，结尾处是一个impression.
Best regards,
Li Ming.
落款处，还可以用：Gratefully, Respectfully, Sincerely, Yours, Best regards/wishes, Best等来代替。
讲解要点：
1 不要忘记strategy,不要用战术的勤奋掩盖战略的懒惰，我们不要忘了guiding principles, guidelines 然后不断的review.
2邮件写作的本质：清晰，高效和换位书面沟通
Effective email writing + formulaic patterns + clear thinking + empathy.
3 写作由一连串微决策组合而成，比如文章的机构，几部分组成，段首句怎么写 ～ micro decision
4 写作前思考：谁是收件人？写作目的是什么？有哪些必要细节？
5 明确强化这几个点。一个称呼，一个落款，都是有任务的，都是细节。
6 断句：Justin所写的东西，段句短的很好
7 一个好的邮件标题，好的标题会让收件人做两件事情：
8 快速知晓相关性，点开邮件
对邮件内容预判，快速回应
9 注意标题：
WHO Headquarters visit request from Peking University School of Public Health.
邮件标题不一定是一句话，我没有写标题呢
其他的标题：
Request for a group visit (limit information)
Request a school visit to WHO headquarters.
WHO visit application 不是application.
10 开头的称呼：To Whom It May Concern / Dear Sir or Madam,
首段是最重要的信息
如果不确定是不是正确的收件人，可以这样写：
If this is not the correct email, could you please kindly let me know the right one? Thank u in advance
11 逻辑跳步缺乏逻辑性 ,写邮件，要注意这种陷阱
12 想学好邮件写作，要做对比，然后思考他为什么这么做 ～ 可以看看以前老师发来的邮件，当读到好的邮件时，要好好的体会。
13 100%读懂题目 + 100%照顾题目，注意写作的随意性
14 突出问题：内容不恰当
细碎问题：
1 区分：College VS School VS university
school of education
go to college 读大学
2 application VS request
3 feedback（反馈） VS reply. response
4 P.S.的用法 在落款后写，别再中间写
5 场景中没有给出的事实类信息 （如一月份参观）
6 人名的写法（～ E.g， Qingwei Meng, Meng Qingwei, Meng Qing Wei (客观存在，但是一般不用)）
7 结尾处缺少致谢 （这不是必须的，但是是最好有的）
写作的衔接过渡
实用表达和句型：
1 guided tour 有人带你参观
2 accommodate somebody’s needs 满足你的需求
3 make arrangements for somebody 做某些的安排
4 Itinerary：travel schedule 行程
句式：
1 In the effort to do X，Y…..
2 I was wondering whether I／We/you/could
3 I was wondering whether it would be convenient/acceptable/feasible to ….
4 My schedule is highly/fairly flexible
5 X means a lot/a great deal to us.向别人表示谢意，比较走心的表达～
tip: 每周一段，别学了新的忘了旧的
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