Writing Day 8 20190319 gu_writing
全文翻译3：看电视学习+ 观点类题目（agree or disagree提醒）写作要点
题目：Some people believe that children can learn effectively by watching TV and they should be encouraged to wathc TV both at home at school.To what extent do you agree or disagree?
自学步骤一：阅读题目后，写出三个观点：
缺：
1.分散小孩注意力，无自主思考能力。
2.孩子依赖性强，影响交流合作等其它动手实践能力。
优：扩展小孩知识面。
自学步骤二：翻译句子：先想词伙，在想句型，然后写句子。
自学步骤三：检查自己的翻译：先看正确的句子的词伙和句子结构，然后看错误的句子，看是否能够发现问题。
介绍段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我写的 | 答案句 | 错误纠正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 背景句 | 1.看电视（特别是资讯性的节目）被认为是一种有效的学习方法，因为声像信息很容易吸引学生的注意和培养他们的兴趣。 | Watching TV(especially report video ) is considered an useful way to learn,because sounds and pictures can easily get children's attention and inspire their interest. | Watching televison(especailly informative television)has been recognised as an effective method of learning,because audio-visual information can attract students' attention and engage their interest. | watching television ,informative television,has been recognised as,an effective method of ,audio-visual infromation,attract one's attention,engage one's interest | 单词升级，语法准确，词伙搭配 |
| 阐述立场或者说明文章讨论内容 | 2.尽管很多电视节目现在都具有教育价值，但是我不赞同学生应该多看电视。 | Although |
Although many programmes have educational value,I do not agree that increasing screen time is a good idea. | programmes,educational value,do not agree that,出现二个动词，需要删掉一个。 | 词伙搭配，强调句用法 |
主题部分第一段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我写的 | 答案句 | 错误纠正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 中心句 | 3.看电视会影响小孩的学习，还有参加其他有益于他们成长的活动。 | Watching TV can affect children's learning,as well as other activities |
Television viewing can interfere with children's studies and other activites which can benefit these children's development. | [interfere with]打扰妨碍干涉干扰 | 词伙搭配 |
| 解释 | 4.看电视会分散孩子的注意力，特别是大人不在身边监督的话。 | It can distract their attention,especially without adults. | Children can get distracted easily,especially when they watch TV without adults' supervision. | 词伙借词搭配 | |
| 结果 | 5.经常看电视的学生可能不能够专注于学习任务，这会导致他们考试成绩的下降。 | Students wacthing TV often may not able to focus on studying assignments and this may led the decrease of their grades. | Students who watch television frequently may not be able to concentrate on learning tasks,<u>a problem which can lead to poor grades.</u> | learning tasks, concentrate on. | 词伙搭配 |
| 并列的一个结果 | 6.而且小孩很难进行那些促进大脑发育的互动式的活动，如阅读，唱歌和交流。 | Additionally,children may |
It is also difficult for children to attend those interactive activeties which promote brain development,such as reading,singing and communication. | have difficulty in doing sth,brain development, | 词伙搭配 |
主题部分第二段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我的 | 答案 | 改正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 中心句 | 7.此外，孩子看电视的时间加长会影响他们的交流能力。 | Besides,the extention of children's screen time can have adverse influence on their |
Another problems is that long sreen time can have an adverse impact on children's social development. | communication ability,have an adverse impact on, | 词伙 |
| 原因 | 8.他们会每天坐在电视前几个小时，而不去和小伙伴玩游戏，和老师交流。 | They have several hours to sit in front of TV instead of playing games with friends,communicating with teachers. | They will sit in front of TV many hours,instead of playing games with their peers and communicating with teachers. | instead of doing sth, | 词伙,语法 |
| 结果 | 9.他们会变得孤僻，不愿意和别人表达自己的看法，或者是去理解别人的话。 | As a result,they may become lonely and don't want to express their opinions,or understand other people's words. | They will become unsociable and unwilling to express their views and understand the thoughs of other people. | uncociable,unwilling,express one's views, | 词伙 |
| 扩展结果 | 10.没有好的语言能力，他们很难学习知识，借鉴别人的想法，学业上很难有成就。 | Without excellent language abilities,they will have difficulty on learning knowledge,reflecting other people's thoughts,and geting success |
Without good communication skills, they will have difficulty in gaining knowledge, drawing upon the ideas of classmates or teachers,and achieving academic success. | get success in sth,communication skills,have difficulty in doing sth,draw upon,achieve success. | 词伙，语境。 |
主体部分第三段（折中段）：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我的 | 答案 | 改正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 中心句 | 11，另一方面，我也知道电视让小孩接触知识的世界。 | On the other hand,I also know that |
On the other hand, I understand that television has exposed children to a world of knowledge. | watching TV,has exposed sb to,a world of knowledge. | 语法，时态，词伙 |
| 原因 | 12.很多教育类的节目都是针对小孩的，让他们增加对不同科目的了解。 | There are many educational show aimed to children,allowing they to know more about all kinds of subjects. | There are many educational programmes aimed for children,allowing them to gain an insight into different subjects. | educational programmes, aimed for,gain an insight into, | 词伙， |
| 举例 | 13，例如，历史记录片可以让小孩懂得历史事件，而一些外语频道可以让他们学会外语。 | For exemple, |
For example,documentaries can help children learn about historical events while foreign language channels can help them acquire languages. | documentaries,foreign language channels,acquire foreign languages.language 可数名词 | 词伙，单复数 |
| 对比 | 14.这些知识是对他们在学校里学的知识的一个补充 | These knowledge is a supplement for their studying at school. | This kind of knowledge can complement what they learn at school. | This kind of ,修饰knowledge,指这类，knowledge,不可数，be a supplement for，对什么的补充， | 名词单复数 |
结论段：
| 句子作用 | 中文 | 我的 | 答案 | 改正 | 错误类型 |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 再次表明立场 | 15.综上所述，家长和老师应该对小孩看电视加以限制，而不是鼓励这个习惯。 | In conclution,parents and teachers should |
To summarise,parents and teachers should impose restrictions on children's television viewing,rather than endorse this habit. | impose restrictions on,endorse,v，认可，支持， | 词伙，词汇 |
| 总结观点 | 16.多看电视会影响他们的学习，而不是提升他们的成绩。 | The extention of watching TV influences their |
Watching TV can have an adverse impact on children's grades,rather than improve their academic performance. | have an adverse impact on,rather than + do,academic performance. | 词伙 |
自学步骤四：整体学习和检查范文，看看是否符合TELCCS原则。
Task-oriented：每句话要注意扣题，尽量出现 题目的关键词。
Extension：句子要懂得扩展，在简单的想法上增加信息，使句子变得丰富。
Linking devices：句子链接要精密，连接方法灵活有变化，前后句子要保持很好的逻辑。
Consistency ：每个句子要和中心句保持一致，和前面一句话论述保持逻辑一致。
Collocations：用词要尽量使用词伙，尊重单词的搭配习惯。
Syntax：句子结构要准确，变化要合理恰当。
Watching television (especially informative television) has been recognised as an effective method of learning,because audio-visual information can attract students' attention and engage their interest.Althought many TV programmes have educational value, I do not <u>agree that increasing screen time is a good idea.</u>
这句话读起来有点多余，为了用从句而用从句的感觉
Television viewing can interfere with children's studies and other activities which can benefit these children's development.Children can get distracted easily,especailly when they watch TV without adults' supervision.<u>Students</u> who watch television frequently may not be able to concentrate on <u>learning tasks</u>,a problem which can lead to poor grades.It is also difficult for <u>children</u> to attend those interactive activities which promote brain development,such as <u>reading,singing and communication.</u>
有点重复
这里和前面的distracted 也是重复的，
和前面的children 重复，可以用代词them
这些不是interactive activities , 影响consistency的分
Another problem is that long creen time can <u>have an adverse impact on</u> children's social development.<u>They</u> will sit in front of TV many hours, instead of playing games with their peers and communicating with teachers.<u>They</u> will become unsociable and unwilling to express their views and understand the thoughts of other people.Without good communication skills, they will have difficulty in gaining knowledge,drawing upon the ideas of classmates or teachers,and achieving academic success.
和最后一句类似，可以替换一下，避免extention
这里不是特别合理，不是每个小孩都会看那么长的时间，可能加点限制会好些，不那么跳跃，否则影响consistency得分。
二个句子都是they 开头，感觉有点重复。
On the other hand, I understand that television has exposed children to a world of knowledge.There are many educational programmes aimed for children,allowing them to gain an insight into different subjects.For example,documentaries can help children learn about historical events while foreign language channels can help them acquire foreign languages.This kind of knowledge can complement what they learn at school.
To summarise,<u>parents</u> and teachers should impose restrictions on children's televison viewing, rather than <u>edorse this habit</u>.Watching TV can have an adverse impact on children's grades,<u>rather than improve their academic performance.</u>
这里可以加标志词，表明你正在说明个人的看法。
突然说到endorse this habit，有点突兀，毕竟题目没有那么说。
主题段落不只是讨论学习，还讨论交流技能。
关键学习点：
观点类文章：（agreen/disagree）
注意1：有时会限定某个动作的结果，很多考生容易跑题。
围绕这个结果进行，不能讨论其他东西
注意2：可以完全支持或者反对，也可以部分支持或者反对。
注意3：尽量避免出现some people think/argue/believe/hold the view that这些表达。
这些都是论述类题目的表达，不适合观点类文章。
注意4:注意审题时的优缺点问题（advantages/disadvantages,positive/negtive effects）区别。
同意反对类题目Do you agree or disagree？可以否定题目里设定的一个动作，而优缺点类题目只能讨论题目设定的趋势或者动作的优缺点。
注意5：题目出现best,only 这种字眼也可以折中。
这是可以部分支持。
注意6：题目已经认定的内容不需要去论述。
有时候题目的论题包括二个部分，其中一个部分已经确定了，就不需要讨论了。
注意7：观点类题目和论述类题目有二大区别。
区别一：观点类题目可以完全支持，或者完全反对，论述类题目不可以。
区别二：观点类题目的主题段落可能时二正一反，或者二反一正，但是论述类题目的主题段落必定是一正一反。
提升的范文：
下划线词伙，黑体是和原文有差异地方：
Watching television (especially <u>informative television</u>) has been recognised as an effective <u>method of learning</u>, because <u>audio-visual information</u> can attract students' attention and <u>engage their interest</u>.Although many TV programmes have <u>educational value</u>,I do not agree with the idea of intcreasing screen time.
Television viewing can <u>interfere with children's studies</u> and other activities which can benefit these children's <u>intellectual development</u>.They may not able to <u>achieve good grades</u> in exams because screen time displaces the time they could spend doing homework.It is also worring to see that <u>television viewing</u> can <u>crowd out those activities</u> which can <u>improve children's intellectual skills</u>, such as reading,palying chess and <u>board games.</u>
Another problem is that long screen time can limit children's social development.Those children who sit in front of their TV for many hours,instead of playing games with peers and communicating with teachers,will become unsociale and unwilling to express their views and understand the thoughts of ohter people.Without good communication skills,they will have difficulty in gaining knowledge,drawing upon the ideas of classmates or teachers,and achieving academic success.
On the other hand,I understand that television has exposed children to <u>a world of knwoledge.</u>These are many <u>educational programmes</u> aimed for children,allowing them to gain an insight into different subjects.For example,documentaries can help <u>historical events</u> while foreign language channels can help them acquire <u>foreign languages</u>.This kind of knowledge can complement what they learn at school.
To summarise,I would agure that parents and teachers should impose restrictions on children's television viewing,although television shows are a source of knowledge.Watching TV can hava an adverse impact on exam grades and social skills.
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