我是一个有棱角的人，想要很陡峭的人生

人越是上了岁数，就越难看清楚自己说清楚自己了。一个小学生的自我介绍，可能只要说清楚姓名年龄学校爱好之类就好了，一个中学生的自我介绍，大约会说起来自哪个小学又或者会有很多的梦想心愿，一个成年的自我介绍，怕是就有太多的取舍和雕琢了。

我写下这个题目的时候，忍不住又看了一眼镜子，我是吗？是我吗？想要吗？很想吗？然后微微一笑，就这样吧。

我小的时候，书念得不算差，但也不算特别好，不吃力也不掉队，不惹麻烦也不冒尖，可我知道我只听自己的话，做自己想做的事情。小学二年级的时候，就跟我妈冷战，理由我已经忘了，只记得在某天一条很黑的路上，我心里怕得厉害，不得已喊妈妈，内心还有很多的不甘愿。回想起来，连自己都会吃惊，一个小朋友的不认同竟然表达得如此决绝坚毅。

六年级的时候，老师有次给了我们一篇范文让大家分析，结果全班同学都说这篇作文写得不好，因为他跟作文选上的作文几乎是一模一样的，老师很是无奈诧异的看着我们说，你们不觉得被选入作文选的作文是好作文吗？是啊，不觉得呀，张扬做自己好像才是最好的。

初中三年级的时候，跟我们班主任吵架，什么原因也忘了，他什么都没说，让我坐到了教室最后一排的角落里去，我也什么都没说，之后的整整一学期，我也没有和他讲过一句话，没给过他一个照面一个眼神，所以，我人生唯一一次考了第一名。

高中的时候，我人生最大的梦想是摸一把rain的胸肌，当然，到今天想摸的已经是一个团队了。熬夜看MBC原版韩剧，没字幕也津津有味，每个礼拜买体坛周刊，追着看法网世界杯，当然所有的这一切在我有了大把时间的高考之后也都结束了，不喜欢了呀。

大学的时候，每个人都有生活方式，通向不同的目标，可我一点也没有。昨天刚刚翻出来那时的读书笔记，鲁迅傅雷川端康成大江健三郎大小仲马，他们的文字密密麻麻抄写了好多，虽然很多曾经的慷慨激昂如今看来已经有那么一点儿寡淡，甚至不认同了，但我自己几乎都忘了我曾经那么赤诚得浸泡在纯粹文学里。

毕业几年，不断享受来自方方面面的挑战，有时觉得过瘾来劲儿，有时觉得索然无味，一些时候里会觉得痛苦得喘不过气，但转念间也快乐的上天。我不敢问路在何方，只愿脚下的每一步都坚定扎实。

我可能不太起眼，我不是排头兵，但也不是后进生，往回看，我不用别人的标尺去丈量我的生活，往前看，我也不想用别人的理想来定义我的人生。我的棱角是没有办法站进统一的队伍里，也不太容易把自己安置在统一的格子里。

我真爱我每一个棱角，每一个都不希望被磨平，如果不得已要煎熬，可能也是要流血牺牲的。但我仍然我的每一个棱都能映衬出更多的斑斓，每一个角都能保持着刚刚好的温度和温和。始终不同，却愈发包容。

我很喜欢陡峭这个词，并且炽热的希望他是我的人生。每一道坎儿都能看见更多的可能和意义，每一个转身后的悬崖峭壁都能告诉自己我不认输，每一步都小心翼翼弥足珍贵，谁知道有怎样的危险和结束呢？

可我依然希望他陡峭，在更多的上上下下里，能让这短短的一生体验更多。我知道这世界上藏着太多的舒适富贵安逸，可我不羡慕，难道他们不用面对死亡？难道他们能永恒富贵安逸嘛？人生从来结不出沉甸甸的果实，可却始终能积累茁壮健硕的生长。

我是一个有棱角的人，想要很陡峭的人生。

I do not know melodyat all.

At the very beginning,I’d like to share a story in my first job interview with you. My boss asked me,“Melody, what’s your strength?” I answered “communication skills, teamwork, andpositive energy” and gave him several examples. However, in the following workuntil today, all of these are my biggest barrier and challenge for me.

So you know sometimesthe appearance you described may not be true, but it’s your ambition, desireand direction you walked to. What’s my desire? All the skills I mentioned aboveshould be improved. And more importantly, be different from others and beharmonious in the world. I will never repeat the life my parents have. And Iwill never follow the general rules, such as getting married at the specificage, having a baby at the right time, saving house, cars and wealth and so on.I keep asking myself all the times “Do you like it? Do you want it?”When I meeta cute man, I might ask myself do you like him and do you want him, go aheadplease. When I have new ideas about career, I might ask myself do you like itand do you want it, go ahead please. Others’ rule has nothing to do with me andI am just in charge of my heart. But it doesn’t mean I reject others. Differenceit difference. It doesn’t mean higher and lower, good and poor, interesting andboring. Some people like and want others and put effort on it. It’s very cool.It is the basic requirement for me to accept and respect the diversity in theworld. And be friendly and harmonious.

My topicis I don’t know melody at all. It’s not only because I might feel confused betweenreal life and my desire, but also because it is really hard to know yourself, Ibelieve. The origin of philosophy by Socrates is the simple sentence “knowyourself”. In his life,he kept tryingto explore himself by asking, argument and speech. Actually, this year, it tookme much time to know myself. What do you have? What do you want? What do youneed more? What do you give up? Lots of tools have become my mirror. Forexample, writing is very useful to review my idea and logical method. And ithelps me to practice analyzing something and find out some extreme views andrealize my errors. And reading is my favorite thing and I finish reading a bookevery week. More information and idea from others will help me view lots ofthings fairly. Also, take moreresponsibility in life and work. Every action might bring new gains.

Finally, I’dlike to say my favorite word “change”. Some changes are easy and natural. WhenI was in college in Tianjin, every summer holidays and winter holidays inJinan, I may ask all of my friends could you see my changes? Usually, they maytell me the truth, you are thinner or your hair is longer. At that time, Icould never imagine I would work as sales, for I am so scared to talk with thestrange man. But now I really enjoy my work, face the sales challenges and negotiatewith my dealers to achieve my sales goal. I believe I have made lots ofchanges, and I really welcome more changes in the future.

Yes, I don’tknow melody at all. Sometimes she is emotional. Sometimes she is rational.Sometimes she might talk about lots of interesting things. Sometimes she is soquiet without any words. Sometimes she makes lots of colorful dreams. Sometimesshe just focused on the current project. It is confusing wired woman.

I don’tknow melody at all. She might be different tomorrow.