Insonia again.

So difficult.  The life is so difficult..I'm so scared to face it. I'm afraid i can't  afford to have a baby.Because i'm poor now.I can't afford his or her life.

I'm thinking about that A girl Becomes a lady, then Get married and Have her baby and feed her baby, Give her baby education, then her baby will grow up And Get married and Over and over again.  About twenty years is hers own life.    But It's full of her husband and Her children In her rest life...  What a horrible dream！

I feel upset And nervous. I don't know what is the necessary of living. And nobody's can tell me why.  Maybe the answer is already in my mind.  But make the decision Also need to Be brave.

My future husband Loves me than love himself, That's a fortune.  But now he is too young to allow me a better life. Despite of his gingerlines and trust. Just be patient. He will never let me fail.Just be confident. And sometimes you cannot halt to move forward. Just do what you want to do.Just to be happy. It's waste time to make Self suspension. Just move on.

Okay, baby, it's time to sleep.Nineteen ninety.