《Automic Habits》读书笔记3 让内因发挥作用

Here’s an example from Janet Lansbury, the author of No Bad Kids:
So, when he says, “No, I don’t want to put my PJ’s on,” stay calm.

“Oh, I hear you. You don’t want to put on your PJ’s. What would you like to wear to bed?”
Or maybe,
“Which of these (2) PJ’s will you wear?”
Or
“I hear you don’t want to put on your PJ’s. Perfectly understandable. But we won’t have time for a book if you can’t get them on in the next five minutes.”
Or
“Would you like to put these on now, or in five minutes?”

The key is to continue to encourage his autonomy and give him options so that he doesn’t feel bossed around.
Be effortlessly in charge. Totally unthreatened.

Worst case scenario: he sleeps with his regular clothes on.

It’s similar to being told to read a book for English class versus choosing to read the book yourself.

这类似于是被告知要读一本书还是自己主动选择要读一本书。

The same habit can go from unattractive to attractive depending on who is in control.

让孩子觉得是自己的主动选择，发挥孩子的自主能动性。