作文题目
Some People think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss other these views and give your own opinion.
第一次写
When they enter university, freshmen face the dilemma of whether to choose the courses according to interest or according to practicality. While there are some benefits to studying useful subjects, I would argue that it is better to learn what you are interested in.
- 代词一定是对前有所指代，可改为when entering the university, the freshmen face ...
- 并列关系相同内容可适当省略，但是要保持前后形式一致
- 尽量不用第二人称
- young people who decide to study them, rather than learning other non-technical courses,更简介流畅的表达young people majoring in sciences rather than non-technical subjects
The option to sign up for courses that will be helpful for a future career is attractive for several reasons. Many students want to get a decent job after graduation, which requires them to master knowledge more related to workplace. And they can learn them by taking more useful courses such as computer science, aviation technology and mechanical engineering. In terms of their income, young people who decide to study them, rather than learning other non-technical courses, may get a higher starting salary. With a higher-paying job, they will have stronger work motivation and better life experience. This may lead to promotions and a bright future.
题目强调的是科学技术这些学科是有用的，而不是强调与工作相关的实践技能。TS1有些偏题， TS2 很不错
rather than 是并列连词，前后形式保持一致
词汇丰富多样，但是句型较单一，需要积累更多样化的修饰手法
On the other hand, I believe that it is more beneficial for students to learn what they are really fascinated with, even though they seem pretty useless at the moment. As an old saying goes, “Interest is the best teacher”, which means you will spend a lot of spare time researching it，enjoy it and have a more active and creative mind on it. As a result, you will become an extraordinary person instead of a good one in this field. Furthermore, some seemingly less practical classes tend to have unexpected positive effects in the long term. For instance, Steve Jobs gave up the practical college courses to study Buddhism and Calligraphy, which made him generate the design of iPhone, a highly influential product combining practicality with beauty.
body 2的两点写得非常好，观点清晰，论证充分。
待提高：语法句型多样性
which means you will spend a lot of spare time researching it，enjoy it and have a more active and creative mind on it. 更地道的表达 which means that a passion in certain field would prompt students to spend more time conducting researches, overcoming challenges and coming up with innovative ideas.
To sum up, it is better for students to devote themselves to what they are really like and devote their time to make contributions and innovations in these areas.
结尾段可以适当地扩展改写结尾段
修改后
When entering university, freshmen face the dilemma of whether to choose the courses according to interest or practicality. While there are some benefits studying useful subjects, I would argue that it is better to learn what they are interested in.
The option to sign up for courses helpful for a future career is attractive for several reasons. First, as the famous saying goes, "Science is the first productive force". For example, the advances of computer redefine the financial accounting, which means that people can write accounting software to automate the task, thereby liberating labors from manual work. Meanwhile, students mastering science and technology are scarce so that they will have more chances to get a decent job after graduation. In terms of their income, young people majoring in sciences rather than non-technical subjects may get a higher starting salary. With a well-paid job, they will have stronger work motivation and better life experience leading to further promotions and bright future.
On the other hand, some people held the opinion that it is more beneficial for students to learn what they are really fascinated with, even though they seem pretty useless at the moment. As an old saying goes, “Interest is the best teacher”, which means that a passion in certain field would prompt students to spend more time conducting research, overcoming challenges and coming up with innovative ideas. As a result, they will become an extraordinary person instead of a good one in this field. Furthermore, some seemingly less practical classes might have unexpected positive effects in the long term. For instance, Steve Jobs gave up the practical college courses to study Buddhism and Calligraphy, which inspired him to generate the design of iPhone, a highly influential product combining practicality with beauty.
To sum up, it is better for students to devote themselves to what they really like and dedicate their lives to making contributions and innovations in these areas. Simultaneously, it is more justified for universities to create an environment where each student finds their own passion and explores their own potential.
词伙积累
with/ as the popularity of 随着。。流行
with/ as the advancement in / as the advances of ... / with the advent/ arrival of sth 随着。。的到来
A has changed/ revolutionized B 改变，彻底改变
A has negatively/ positively affected B A 已经对b造成了影响
The fact/ phenomenon that ... indicates that XXX事实表明xxx
Whether ... is a hot issue
discussion now centers on whether ...
承认其合理性，反驳其极端性
Although sb is able to do sth, doing sth is a wiser decision.
Although it is widely accepted that ..., this is a simply untrue in our daily life.
Although ..., other factors are equally important.
同义替换
prominent; evident; obvious; clear
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