In the old day, children were familiar with birth and death as part of life. This is perhaps the first generation of American youngsters who have never been close by during the birth of a baby and have never experienced the death of a family member.
在过去，孩子们熟悉出生和死亡是生活的一部分。这也许是美国第一代在婴儿出生期间从未接近，也从未经历过家庭成员死亡的年轻人。
Nowadays when people grow old, we often send them to nursing homes. When they get sick, we transfer them to a hospital, where children are forbidden to visit terminally ill patients-even when those patients are their parents. This deprives the dying patient of significant family members during the last few days of his life and it deprives the children of an experience of death, which is an important learning experience.
如今，当人们变老时，我们经常把他们送到疗养院。当他们生病时，我们会把他们转移到医院，在那里，孩子们被禁止探视绝症患者，即使这些患者是他们的父母。这剥夺了重要家庭成员的临终病人在生命的最后几天，剥夺了孩子们的死亡体验，这是一种重要的学习体验。
Some of my colleagues and I once interviewed and followed approximately 500 terminally ill patients in order to find out what they could teach us and how we could be of more benefit, not just to them but to the members of their families as well. We are most impressed by the fact that even those patients who were not told of their serious illness were quite aware of its potential outcome.
我和我的一些同事曾经采访并跟踪了大约500名绝症患者，以了解他们可以教给我们什么，以及我们如何做不仅对他们，而且对他们的家人都有更多的好处。我们印象最深的是，即使是那些没有被告知自己患有严重疾病的患者也非常清楚其潜在结果。
It is important for family members, and doctors and nurses to understand these patients’ communications in order to truly understand their needs, fears, and fantasies. Most of our patients welcomed another human being with whom they could talk openly, honestly, and frankly about their trouble. Many of them shared with us their tremendous need to be informed, to be kept up-to-date on their medical condition and to be told when the end was near. We found out that patients who had been dealt with openly and frankly were better able to cope with the approach of death and finally to reach a true stage of acceptance prior to death.
重要的是，家庭成员、医生和护士要了解这些患者的沟通，才能真正了解他们的需求、恐惧和幻想。我们的大多数患者都欢迎其他人可以公开、诚实、坦率地谈论他们的病情。他们中的许多人告知我们他们迫切需要了解情况，了解最新的医疗状况，以及生命何时终结。我们发现，接受过公开和坦率治疗的患者能够更好地应对死亡的临近，并最终在死亡前达到真正的接受阶段。
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