An ecology of Hurt (摘錄）by Nora Bateson
Small Arcs of Larger Circles: Framing Through Other Patterns
Forgiveness is not actually something you give,or make,or force. Forgiveness is about something learned. Learning must take place, not just any learning, but learning that bridges the emotional, intellectual and physical realms.
原諒並不是施捨，製作或強迫得來的。原諒是關於學到的事。學習在這個過程中是必須的，不是隨便的學習，而是關於如何連結搭起感受，心智與身體之間的橋樑。
....the fact that someone can hurt me means I care.
....事實上會被一個人傷害意味著我在乎。
Caring enables us to learn, perhaps because the resentment is too difficult to sustain,Learning means we can heal and evolve. Fake forgiveness, just like fake orgasms, is not good for the overall ecology of the relationship.
在乎幫助我們學習，也許是因為怨恨感是難以承受不可持續，學習意味著我們能夠療癒並進化。假的原諒，就像是假的高潮，對於整體生態之間的關係是不健康的。
With learning comes the capacity to learn again. To be alive is to accept the possibility of pain and to know that one day another form of pain will manifest.
學習所帶來的價值是再次學習的能力。活著是臣服於會有痛苦的可能性，以及了解未來有ㄧ天總是會有某種痛苦會顯化於世間。
When hurt gets too painful and repetitive, we might try this approach:
當傷害重複得令人太痛苦時，我們也許可以嘗試：
1. Allow complexity. 允許複雜
2. Pause the impulse to find cause. 暫停衝動的慾望尋找到原因
3. Increase mutual learning within the situation. 對於情況當中相互學習到的理解
4. Previously in-seeable possibilities appear. 看見之前未見可能性的出現
5. Repeat steps 1-5 indefinitely 無限期的重複這五步驟
There are infinite ways to approach approaching. 接近有無限的方式
從傷害中得智慧。
says nils frahm
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