声明：本文系沪江英语原创翻译，未经授权不得转载。

眼看着2018年就要过一半了，果不其然，今年我们又捧红了一众画风清奇的新人设。

在“隐形贫困人口”和“积极废人”火了以后，其他流派的戏精们也没闲着，

总体来说就是，生活只有更雷，没有最雷。

一起来看看这些新戏精你都见过几个吧~

#1. 回光返照式友情

Dead-Cat-Bounce Friendship

释义：这种朋友平常压根不联系，双方像身患重病、连一个手指都抬不起来，连一个字的消息都不发。可是一旦联系起来恨不得把这辈子的话都说完。

These friends usually don't contact each other. It's like they are too sick to even lift a finger or type one word. But once they meet, they can chat almost to their last breath.

~

#2. 盲式出轨

Eyes-Impaired Unfaithfulness

释义：这是一种令人十分费解的出轨方式。出轨对象在各个方面都比不上原配，但当事人还是在神秘力量的作用下强行出轨了。

It's a remarkably peculiar way to cheat on somebody. The cheat is on no aspect any match to the lawful, but the affair still happens under some mysterious force that can't be apprehended.

~

#3. 心诚则零

Make-Believe Weight Losing

释义：这种人一心想减肥，而且相信自己正在减肥，而且相信自己正在努力减肥，但他们的减肥方法论非常特殊。他们可以相信可乐的热量能被冰块中和掉，相信冰激凌是凉的所以没有热量，相信奶茶里的奶很健康、茶很养生、所以能把卡路里抵消到零。

These people want to lose weight so much. They believe that they're trying to lose weight and they believe that they're trying really hard to lose weight. But their methodology is really weird. They can make themselves believe that the ice in the cola can annihilate the calories, that ice cream contains no calory because it's cold, that bubble tea is healthy and calory-free since the milk and tea in it are healthy. 

~

#4. 万嗑现象

Omnipotent Matchmaker

释义：这是一种近年来日益成熟的嗑CP现象。可以强行把任何两个人嗑成CP，不管对方的性别、性向如何，甚至不管对方是不是人类。

It's a way of seeing 2 individuals as a couple, which has been getting mature in recent years. These people see couples everywhere, no matter the genders or sexual orientations of the individuals. They don't even care about whether they're humans or not.

~

#5. 朋友圈成功人士

Social-Media-Limited Winner

释义：这些人看起来职业光鲜、日进斗金、家庭和睦、生活充满情趣。但这些仅局限在朋友圈。

These people seem to have really good jobs, fat income, harmonious families and interesting life. But you only see this on the social media.

~

#6. 塑料姐妹花

Plastic Besties

释义：这些人表面上是好朋友，一起玩耍、一起购物。但心里其实讨厌对方，而且经常在背后说坏话、使绊子。

These people seem to be besties. They have fun together. They go shopping together. But in fact they hate each other and often make sabotage behind each other's back.

~

#7. 高情商型失明

High-EQ Blindness

释义：指的是那些即使在网上发现了你没公开的社交账号也会假装没看见的现实好友。请珍惜患这种病的朋友。

This refers to those friends who pretend that they didn't see anything even if they found your secret social media accounts. Please cherish this kind of people.

~

#8. 排遣式进食

Distraction Eating

释义：指的是即使在一点也不饿的情况下也总在想着吃些什么。吃，让他们的灵魂变得充实。

It means longing for food even when you're not hungry at all. Eating makes these people's souls whole.

~

#9. 工作CD

Office Cooldown

释义：指的是开始工作前需要大量的蓄力时间，工作一段时间后需要大量的时间来冷却技能。通常的配比是：工作10分钟、刷手机半小时。

This refers to the time you spend accumulating energy before you start working and the time you need to cooldown after you finish some work. The ratio is usually 10 minutes of work with half an hour of smartphone-playing

~

#10. 一望无际

No End in Sight

释义：一眼望过去，看不到发际线。

Checked. No hairline.

~

#11. 浴后神经紊乱

Shower-Imposed Mental Disorder

释义：指的是洗澡后会突然出现自我迷恋的症状，主要表现为发自内心地认为自己好看，并对着镜子不停欣赏。

This refers to the self-obsession you develop after taking a shower. The major symptoms include suddenly seeing yourself as attractive and keeping appreciating yourself in the mirror.

~

#12. 服务员型朋友

Waiterlike Friend

释义：指的是那些极具服务精神的朋友。吃烤肉的时候他烤，吃火锅的时候他涮，吃小龙虾的时候他剥。

This refers to a friend who really has a service spirit. It's them who roast the food when you go barbecue together. It's them who make sure the meat get cooked when you have a hot pot together. It's them who peel the shells when you have clayfish together.

~

#13. 赤裸裸的威胁

Agressive Nakedness

释义：指的是那些身材完美的人发布的过于裸露的照片对肥胖人士造成的精神伤害。

This means the mental attack which fat people endure after seeing those who have perfect bodies posing photos which are too naked.

~

#14. 快消品

Fast Disappearing Goods

释义：指的是那些买来之后很快就会不见的东西。例如发卡、指甲刀。

It means those things that disappear really fast right after you purchase them, such as hairpins and nail clippers.

~

#15. 间歇性迷信

Intermittent Superstition

释义：这种现象主要发生在查看星座分析时，看到夸自己的部分就疯狂点头，看到黑自己的就会觉得这都是胡说八道。

This usually happens when people read constellation analyses. They nod in agreement whenever they read something that speaks highly of them. And they decide it's nonsense whenever they come across anything not so flattering.

~

#16. 万能好运绝缘体

Universal Luck Repellent

释义：抽奖抽不到、恋爱谈不上、睡觉睡不着、学习学不好、游戏菜到爆。

Never won a lottery. Never had a real relationship. Can't fall asleep easily at night. Sucks in studying. Sucks in gaming, too.

~

#17. 摩羯式休假

Off-Working Vacation

释义：表面上拥有双休日和节假日，但实际上只是换个地方继续工作。（是我了！）

This refers to those who nominally have weekends and holidays but in fact just work in different places.

~

#18. 编剧式观影

Scriptwriter-Style Film Watching

释义：这种人一点也不介意被剧透，甚至还要自己搜剧情介绍。他们必须时刻掌控剧情的走向，不允许发生任何出乎自己意料之外的事情。

These people don't mind getting spoilers. Sometimes they even search for plot description themselves. They have to have the whole storyline under their control. They can't tolerate anything that runs outside their expectation.

~

#19. 婚介式观影

Matrimonial-Agency-Style Film Watching

释义：这种人不管看任何电影、任何剧，只关心一件事：谁跟谁好。

No matter what kind of films these people watch, they only care about one thing: Who dates who.

~

#20. 广告商式观影

Advertiser-Style Film Watching

释义：对这些人来说，剧情是次要的。他们不管看什么的时候总是很敏锐地注意到各种品牌露出，还会在心里自动评估哪个演员的后台更硬、是不是又签了什么奇怪的合同、是不是又要传出绯闻了。

For these people, the storyline is not that important. Whatever they watch, they sharply notice all the brand exposures in it. And they automatically evaluate the commercial supports each actor or actress has. And they naturally think about if these people have signed some curious contracts and if they are about to have their affairs exposed.

~

#21. 阶级斗争式观影

Class-Struggle-Style Film Watching

释义：对于这类人来说，观影的首要目的就是看完了去批判它。不管是影片类型、价值观、故事结构、演员演技、演员长相、观众类型，这些人都能批判个遍。而且他们还特别喜欢去特地看自己不喜欢的片子，然后一边批判一边去豆瓣上打个低分。

For these people, the main reason to watch a film is to criticize it afterwards. They can criticize almost everything, including the genre, the value, the story structure, actor's acting skills, how they look and who the maim audiences are. And these people sometimes deliberately watch those films which they know they won't like, just to be able to criticize it and give it a low score online.

~

嗯，想必躺枪的不少了。

今天就不继续扫射了：）。

这21种你见过几个？赶快来朋友圈和大家分享一下你的故事吧。