如何婉拒？
overextending yourself 透支自己
get your wires crossed 会被他人误会
一、基本要点
1) Don't ignore the invitation.
知道想拒绝，但不知道如何是好，反而留下坏印象。
Putting the invitation aside to deal with later isn't good for you or the person who sent it. She needs to know whether or not you'll be there. Ignoring the invitation shows that you don't know proper etiquette, and you might be left off the guest list for her next party.
尽快告诉别人，否则下回就不请你了。
2）Don't wait.
一旦确定去不了，赶紧告诉别人。
As soon as you know you'll be unable to go, let the person know. Most events require planning and budgeting.
别人预先准备聚会会数人头方便聚餐，先告诉别人可以省去麻烦。
3）Be thankful.
Always sincerely thank the person for inviting you and let her know that you're honored that she'd think highly enough of you to send the invitation.
一定让他人知道我们心存感激。
4）Be honest.
You don't ever have to come up with false excuses for why you're unable to go to the event, but you also don't have to go into detail. Let her know that you already have plans. That should be enough.
解释的时候为了让自己显得不得已，会编造理由。Honesty is the best policy. 说实话也不用太具体，否则显得像找借口。
5）Don't over-explain.
If you can't make it, keep your explanation short[简单就好] and to the point[别说废话，就说最关键的。]. Doing otherwise will make it sound like you're just trying to come up with excuses.
6）Ask for a different time.
If the invitation is exclusive to you, let the person know you're unable to make it at the time she requested, but you'd love to get together with her at another time.
这回去不了，一定和人家约下回。all taken recheck
7）Send something.
If you would typically bring a gift to whatever event you were invited to, such as a birthday party or baby shower, go ahead and send something.
参加聚会喜欢带东西，去不了一定送点什么去。
二、书面拒绝
Proper Tone and Wording
注意语气和用词
1）简单拒绝 keep your explanation short and to the point
Dear Joan,
Thank you so much for inviting me to your birthday party. Unfortunately, I already have plans for that night, so I won't be able to attend. I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating this special occasion.[具体什么occasion可以讲清楚 I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating your birthday.]
Your pal,
Mavis
就说有事，不用说什么事。
02）另约它时-虚拟语气表示婉拒的同时，体现惋惜。表示真的很想去，表达感激之情。
Dear George,
Congratulations on your new position! I wish I could[虚拟] attend your promotion party, but I'll be out of town that weekend. Maybe we can get together for drinks[dinner] soon, and you can tell me all about your new job.[promotion party 晋升聚会] I wish you the very best.
Always,
Jenna
约他人下回再聚。
3）表达惋惜-用虚拟语气表达心情，体现要是能去就好了
Dear Harley,
Thank you for the invitation to your daughter's graduation party. I know how proud you are. If I could make it, I definitely would, but I've already booked my flight out of town to visit my parents. Please congratulate her for me and let her know I'll be there in spirit.
Your friend,
James
4）表达感谢-更formal，商务印函
Dear Mr. Jones,
I received your invitation to your company's luncheon. I regret to inform you that I won't be able to attend due to another business commitment. Thank you for thinking of me.
Sincerely,
Arthur Smith
前三封是和朋友的，署全名。学校据信：I regret to inform your bad.
三、获得好处
1）Make others value your time and commitments
别人更加珍视你的出场，懂得尊重你的时间
2）Force you to be honest with yourself about what’s important
帮助自己。不希望自己schedule is jam 时间太满了
3）Free up your mental energy to worry about things you actually care about
聚会社交场合会占据精力，可以更加经历充沛处理重要的事情。
Once you make the decision, you can live GUILT-FREE[不用那么愧疚，你等/含糊其辞，反而让别人误会，get your wires crossed/可能让自己疲惫不堪：overextending yourself] and use your energy to commit to things you’ll actually do.
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