A wise lady once said:
Wherever you go becomes a part of you somehow.
I love travelling as much as I love sex. Both travelling and sex satisfy one of our most basic human needs, curiosity. But the only difference is that sex can be really cheap in terms of money and time. All you need might just be your right hand and a roll of toilet paper. And it can only take as short as a few minutes. Instead, travelling in a narrow sense, is a luxury.
Everyone was talking about the charms of Melbourne but I didn't even have time or money to enjoy any of it. My two dimensional life was just from my room to uni or 7Eleven. All I could think about all day was to make more money. Life is a cold bitch who doesn't dream or pity.
But I wanted to travel with Rachel at any cost, no matter if it means losing that worthless job or spending all my savings. I could always find a job or save some money; it's losing her that I could never afford. I'd pay anything I had to be with her for one month.
I met Rachel at the train station. Obviously I didn't have a car back then. Public transport became our only affordable romance. She was unspeakably pretty that day, lake-blue dress paired with a customary sunbonnet. Pure as the southern sky.
The whole platform faded as she was standing there, smiling at me. She reached her hand to me and we took on the train hand in hand. I felt strangely excited touching her in public. I was drunk with happiness.
'Have you been to Geelong before?' She preferred to took the window seat and I liked the aisle seat. What a perfect match.
'Nah, I started to look for a job the second day when I landed a few months back. You see, I've been too busy to go anywhere. How successful I am.' I wished I sounded funny with my self-deprecating humour.
'Can you support yourself? I mean with the 7Eleven job?' I couldn't decode the meaning of her facial expression. She seemed quite curious about my income. Well, not that I felt ashamed about my background or my personal financials, I just felt unnecessary to hide anything about any aspect of my life. She was going to leave me alone in a month, once for all. Why couldn't I be true to her and to myself?
'Yes if I don't travel.' It was an honest answer that sounds funny.
And she stopped for a while, watching the passing by sceneries outside the carriage window. Australian trains moved exceptionally slow, which made the train travelling somehow enjoyable. Holding her hand with mine, searching her pulse, saying nothing, I enjoyed the silence with her.
It was quiet in the carriage. The old lady sitting at the opposite to us was playing crosswords on today's paper. The kids sitting next to us fell asleep quickly after the initial excitement of the boarding faded. My Rachel was just facing the outside showing her long smooth neck to me. I could see her face from the reflection of the window. She was watching me too. We smiled but said nothing. I wished that moment could be eternity.
Geelong was an industry harbour town not far from Melbourne. Like Liverpool or Manchester in England nowadays, the industrial uproars and crowdedness some 40 years ago had long gone, leaving this town with only old folks and the vast Tasman sea. Everything seemed stopped abruptly, the Victorian buildings, the tranquil harbour, and the carousel on the beach were all the same as 40 years ago. Only time slowly and silently faded their colour and texture with a boutique hue of the sunshines and rains of days and nights.
We lingered around the harbour and the beach, each and every roads of the town, the parks and the antique shops. In the age before the smart phone was invented, we had no time to take selfies like a couple of foreign tourists but had to enjoy and experience each and every piece of this unknown world with our eyes and hearts.I felt real and secure.
'Do you have a plan for the future?' She asked while we were sitting at the old wooden pier that stretched into the sea. The afternoon sun hided into the cloud. The late spring air was still chilly and dry. The yachts were scattered not far away from the shore, parking there like a forest full of dead cold trunks.
'Honestly no.' I said, holding her hand. 'But I don't feel panic or whatever.'
'Just dragging along?' She smiled.
'I'd rather say seizing the day.' I took a deep breath. The air tasted salty and crisp. 'When I was 5, I dreamed to be an astronaut. When I was 10, I believed that I could be the greatest basketball player in the world. People plan and fail. Life goes on and we change ourselves everyday. Future is not something that you can plan, isn't it?'
She did not reply. I knew she was pondering about my words. I felt extremely comfortable as I didn't have to guess what she liked to hear or how should I put it. It was just a 'one month thing' for God's sake. I had every reason to be true to myself and I'd never felt as easy and drama-free as this in any former relationships. She must feel the same way too.
'Let's go buy some flowers and a bottle of wine. I've never done it before. I wanna try it with you.' Yes, she was true to herself too.
'Yes, my lady.'
I wanted to pay for everything and I did. And she gladly accepted it, which made me kinda proud as her man. Not like most of the international students, who lived their care-free little lives with the money from their parents. I had a big fight with mine before I grabbed a bad and took on the plane. I was all alone. Money means everything to me. My meals, my education and my freedom. I couldn't afford any luxurious lifestyle with her but I was so willing to pay all I have for her. I thought that was so noble and romantic back then. I was too naïve apparently.
Rose petals on the floor, two glasses of Shiraz glistening in the dim light, smooth jazz music, bubbles in the bath tub - our conception how romance would look like. We did it like some religious ritual not that we wanted to impress each other but because we were eager to define this new relationship. We anxiously put labels and tags on each other fearing that it might get lost too soon.
We did it three times that night, wishing tomorrow never came. The sex was always amazingly enjoyable. The more we got to know how to please each other, the more we wanted to discover more.
The full moon rose up in the clear sky pouring a layer of crystals on the sea. I sat in the bed with my back leaning against the wall, hemming Rachel in my arms.
'Let's go swim naked in the sea.' I had this crazy idea suddenly.
She turned her face back to me with that cheeky smile on her face. 'Let's go.'
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