How to say,growth?

I always and always wish to be stronger,more mature,less emotional.

Gradually, it comes true little by little,

Those embarrassed thing happened wouldn’t push me,assimilating and solving it“okay,I got it,so we can…”

Those movies which tears trickling down people’s cheeks ,I found it is a touching style just after talk with others.

At the same time,

Traveling to a beautiful place,lost of spirits;new dishes and desserts,little appetite; even though a funny story,all of these don’t make me happy,

When love knocks my door,the heartbeat hide itself,

And someone,maybe friends,folks cannot give my great pleasure

So I don’t know how to give a proper expression,that is so-called“growth”?

How to say,growth?