解开关系中的结‖一行禅师

解开关系中的结

当你在一段新的关系中，两个人都很轻松，没有什么心结。误解很容易立即消除。但当我们让事情累积起来，许多结就累积起来，我们不知道从哪里开始解开它们。为了保护彼此的幸福，我们需要意识到自己内心的问题，并在问题出现时及时沟通。一位女士告诉我，她结婚才三天，心里就结了好几个结，但她瞒着她的伴侣30年。她害怕如果她告诉他，就会发生争吵。

如果没有真实、开放的交流，我们就不可能真正快乐。

当我们在日常生活中不能保持正念时，我们就在我们最爱的人身上种下了痛苦的种子。

UNTYING KNOTS IN A RELATIONSHIP

When you are in a new relationship, both people are still light, and have few knots. Misunderstandings are easy to clear up right away. But when we let things build up, many knots accumulate and we don’t know where to begin untying them. To protect each other’s happiness, we need to become aware of and communicate about our internal knots as soon as they arise. One woman told me that just three days after her wedding she already had a number of knots inside but she kept them from her partner for thirty years. She was afraid that if she told him, there would be a fight.

We can’t be truly happy without real, open communication.

When we are not mindful in our daily life, we plant seeds of suffering in the very person we love the most.