CODEPENDENCY, ADDICTION, AND EMP

本文作者Darlene Lancer

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Buddhist Emptiness 佛教徒的空虚

The Buddhists teach extensively about emptiness, originating with Gautama Shakyamuni Buddha in the 6th B.C.E. Their concept is quite differentfrom the ordinary understanding of the word. For rather being a painfulemotional state, its full realization provides a method to end pain andsuffering and reach enlightenment. Fundamental is the idea that there is nointrinsic, permanent self. The Mahayana and Vajrayana schools go further to believe that the contents of consciousness and objects are also empty, meaning that phenomena lack a substantial, inherent existence, and have only relative existence

佛教徒广泛地教导空虚，这起源于公元前6世纪乔达摩释迦摩尼佛陀。他们对空虚这个词的概念和世界普通的理解是完全不同的。宁可存在一个痛苦的情绪状态，它是完全实现地提供一个方法去结束痛苦和受难以及去接触启迪。基本原理是这里不存在固有的，永恒的自己。大乘佛教和藏转佛教学校更进一步相信意识和物体的内容也同样是虚空，意味着现象缺乏本质和内在的存在，有的仅是相关的存在。

The Cause of Psychological Emptiness 心理空虚的成因

For codependents, including addicts, their emptiness comes from growing up in a dysfunctional family devoid of sufficient nurturing and empathy, referred to by psychiatrist James Masterson asabandonment depression Codependents experience this to varying degrees. They suffer from self-alienation, isolation, and shame, which can be masked by the behaviors that accompany addiction, including denial,dependency, people-pleasing, control, caretaking, obsessive thoughts,compulsive behavior and feelings such as anger and anxiety.

关于相互依赖，包括沉溺上瘾，他们的空虚来自成长在缺乏滋养和同理心的不健全家庭中，参考自精神病学家马斯特森詹姆斯的“抛弃抑郁”。相互依赖经历到这里展现不同程度。他们遭受自我疏离，隔离，羞耻心，这些都可以在伴随着沉溺上瘾，包括否认，依赖，取悦人，控制，看管，强迫性想法，强制性行为和感受如愤怒和焦虑的行为来掩蔽。

Chronic failure to receive adequate empathy and fulfillment of needs in childhood can profoundly affect our sense of self and belonging in adulthood.Physical separation or emotional abandonment from parents in childhood impacts how as adults we experience being alone, the ending of a relationship, death, or other significant loss. Sadness,loneliness, and/or emptiness, can activate feelings of shame and vice versa.Often, these early deficits are exacerbated by additional trauma, abuse, andabandonment later in adolescence and adult relationships. After a loss, we can feel like the world has died, representing a symbolic death of our mother or ofthe self, and be accompanied by feelings of emptiness and nothingness.

在童年时期长期失败于接受充足的同理心和需求的满足能深刻地影响在成年时期我们对于自我的感受和归属感。在童年时期来自父母的实体分隔或者情感抛弃极大影响着作为成年人我们如何经历孤独，一段关系的结束，死亡，或者其他重大损失。悲哀，孤独，和/或空虚，都能刺激羞耻的感受，反之亦然。通常来说，这些早期的不足会因着额外的外伤，虐待，随后在青年期和成人关系中的抛弃而加重。失败以后，我们会感觉这世界已死，代表我们母亲或者自体的象征性死亡，并且被空虚和虚无的感觉伴随。

Searching for wholeness through addiction and others provides only temporary relief from emptiness and depression and further alienates us from ourselves and a solution. This strategy stops working when the passionof a new relationship or an addictive high wanes. We’re disappointed; our needs go unmet; and loneliness, emptiness, and depression return. We may long for the initial passionate, vibrant relationship. Unbearable anxiety andemptiness intensify when we try to detach from an addictive relationship, whenwe’re alone, or when we finally stop trying to help, pursue, or change someoneelse. Letting go and accepting our powerlessness over others can evoke the same emptiness that addicts experience when giving up drugs or a process addiction.

通过沉迷上瘾和其他提供暂时地从空虚和沮丧及更深的自我疏离中减轻和一个解决方案来寻求完全。当一段新关系的激情或者一个成瘾的高地衰退时，这个战略会停止工作。而我们是失望的；我们的需求没有得到满足；孤独，空虚，沮丧忧愁再次袭来。我们可能渴望最初的热情，充满活力的关系。当我们尝试着从一段上瘾的关系中分离，难以忍受的焦虑和空虚会加重，当我们独自的时候或者当我们最终停止尝试去帮助，追逐或者改变其他的某个人时。放手和接受我们对于他人的无能为力能引起同样的空虚，如同在放弃药物或者一个放弃药物过程的上瘾时候的上瘾经历。