巴夏谈爱情：如何从失恋中走出来（中）

巴夏谈爱情：如何从失恋中走出来（中）

问：

Well...

但是

巴夏：

Well what？

但是什么？

问：

Well, it's just this one person.

就这一个人

巴夏：

I don't care how many people it is

不管有几个人

问：

It's just one person that I want to love me.

我只要这个人爱我

巴夏：

Why? Why do you care?

为什么？为什么你这么看重他？

问：

Because I like how I feel when I'm with him.

因为我喜欢跟他在一起的感觉

巴夏：

So what you're saying is,

那你的意思就是说：

Even though there might actually be someone out there who would actually love you even more

即使外面有个更加爱你的男人

Even more perfectly and really love you.

真正的爱你的、给你完美的爱情的男人

You're the hold on to someone who doesn't really love you in the way that you prefer to be love.

你还是会死心塌地爱着一个不爱你的人，对你不好的人？

Just because it's about oh, I don't know 82% of it.

仅仅是因为你觉得：“哦！我也不懂，但这男的，82分”

That's enough?

这就够了吗？

You're gonna to settle for that

你就打算这么定下来了？

And prevent, block the passage of, block the arrival of someone out there

置其他男人于不顾，阻止其他

Who might actually be able to love you 100% for who you are,

可能100%爱你，100%接受你的人，进入你生命中？

Is that what you're actually willing to do it yourself?

你是真的愿意这么对待你自己吗？

Just because you think you can't attract someone else any better than this.

仅仅因为你认为：自己无法吸引一个更优秀的人到来？

Is that what you're saying?

你是这个意思吗？

Nod your head

快点头承认

问：

I don't think I can attract someone better unless I'm better, and I feel

我认为，我无法吸引一个更好的，除非我自己变好了

巴夏：

Exactly

完全正确！

And exactly.

完全正确！

And when you allow yourself to recognize

当你真正明白

That someone who exhibit 82% of the traits that you prefer

一个有着你“理想伴侣”82%特征的男人

Isn't the person that you prefer

并不是你要找的男人

You will then allow him to get out of the way

那你就会允许他，从你的人生中走出来

And allow the other person to come in.

同时也给出空间，让其他人可以进来

You're the one blocking love from your life that could be there

你才是那个“阻挡真爱到来的人”

Because you're not willing to be strong enough to know

因为你不愿意选择进入“强大自信”状态（攀岩）

that you deserve better than just some of it.

于是你就无法知道，你值得拥有完美的爱情，而不是将就的爱情

You understand

你明白吗？

Some of it is not what you prefer.

将就的爱情，不是你要的爱情

Yet your holding on to it

而你却又“痴心不改”

Because you don't believe anything else can come in

因为你不相信，更美好的爱情，在等你让它进来

And the reason it doesn't come in,

它没进来，因为进不来

is because your blocking the way with someone who is only partially what you prefer.

因为你让一个“挺喜欢”的人，在那里占道（占着茅坑）

You're the one jamming the lanes.

是你给你自己添堵了

Let him flow off

让他走

Let him flow by

让他过

Because whoever does show up,

因为，不论出现什么样人

you won't care who it is

你都不在乎

Because they will feel correct.

因为你能感觉到，Ta 就是对的人

Let me ask you a question this way,

我换个方式问你

Have you ever had any other relationships before this one.

在这个男人之前，你有过亲密关系吗？

问：

Yes,

有的

巴夏：

Well, how did this one come about, if you didn't let the other ones go

如果你不让“前任”走，你怎么能让“现任”进？

问：

Okay great.

说得好！

巴夏：

Thank you.

谢谢！

Obviously isn't it?

很明显的，是吧？

So what's so different about this

我再换个说法，你看看是不是这样

All you've done is attract to yourself something to test yourself to see

你所做的一切，其实是吸引某人来，检测你

If you're willing to put up with something that is a half measure

看你能否与一个“将就的情人”合得来（put up with忍受）

As opposed to standing firm in what you know to be true for you that you prefer,

而不是：坚定自己的立场，清楚地知道自己想要的是什么的人

And letting your life flow that to you.

并允许生命之流把他带给你

You're actually willing to shortchange yourself

你其实在欺骗自己，而且愿意欺骗自己

Why?

为什么呢？

If it happened before that you let someone else go their way.

如果之前你让某个人离开，走他自己的路

Because something more came in

因为有更美好的东西要进来

What's so difficult about doing it again

那之前做过的事，再做一次为何会那么难呢？

If you understand that something else can come in if you don't block it from doing so.

既然你已经知道，只要你不阻拦，更美好的东西肯定会进来

Just like it did before

那就像以前那样去做