The Art of Pleasing

The art of pleasing is a very necessary one to possess; but a very difficult one to acquire. It can hardly be reduced to rules; and your own good sense and observation will teach you more of it than I can. Do as you would be done by, is the surest method that I know of pleasing.

掌握取悦于人的艺术很必要，但学会这种艺术很困难。很难将它归纳成几条规则；你自己好好体会好好观察，会学到很多，比我能教给你的多。就我所知，按照别人对待你的做法去做，是最稳妥的取悦于人的方法。

Observe carefully what pleases you in others, and probably the same thing in you will please others. If you are pleased with the complaisance and attention of others to your humors, your tastes, or your weaknesses, depend upon it the same complaisance and attention, on your part to theirs, will equally please them.

仔细观察别人身上有什么东西让你感觉愉快，或许你身上同样的东西也会让别人感觉愉快。假如别人附和并注意你的幽默、你的口味或你的嗜好而使你感觉愉快，你就这么做，附和并注意别人的幽默、口味或嗜好也同样会使他们感觉愉快。

Take the tone of the company that you are in, and do not pretend to give it; be serious, gay, or even trifling, as you find the present humor of the company; this is an attention due from every individual to the majority.

要接受你所在场合的气氛，不要试图去制造气氛；要表现得认真、快活，甚至微不足道，要看当时大家的情绪而定：每个个人对多数人应该考虑这一点。

Do not tell stories in company; there is nothing more tedious and disagreeable; if by chance you know a very short story, and exceedingly applicable to the present subject of conversation, tell it in as few words as possible; and even then, throw out that you do not love to tell stories; but that the shortness of it tempted you.

和大家在一起时不要讲故事，没有比这更乏味更讨厌的了；假如你偶然知道一个很短的故事，而且与谈话内容特别契合，就尽可能用简短的话来讲，即使如此，也要婉转地说明你本来不喜欢讲故事，而是因为故事简短吸引你讲。

Of all things, banish the egotism out of your conversation, and never think of entertaining people with your own personal concerns, or private, affairs; though they are interesting to you, they are tedious and impertinent to everybody else; besides that, one cannot keep one’s own private affairs too secret.

与人交谈时最忌讳以自我为中心，永远不要用你自己关心的事或你的私事来引起别人的兴趣，虽然这些对你很有意义，但对别人却很乏味，而且毫不相干；况且，谁也无法把自己的隐私藏得密不透风。

Whatever you think your own excellencies may be, do not affectedly display them in company; nor labor, as many people do, to give that turn to the conversation, which may supply you with an opportunity of exhibiting them. If they are real, they will infallibly be discovered, without your pointing them out yourself, and with much more advantage.

不论你认为你有什么优秀之处，不要在大家面前装模作样地显摆，也不要像很多人那样在交谈中设法流露这种话口儿来寻找展示它们的机会。假如你真有那些优点，人们一定会发现，无须你自己指出，而且，这样对你更好。

Never maintain an argument with heat and clamor, though you think or know yourself to be in the right: but give your opinion modestly and coolly, which is the only way to convince; and, if that does not do, try to change the conversation, by saying, with good humor, “We shall hardly convince one another, nor is it necessary that we should, so let us talk of something else.

永远不要争吵，不要争得面红耳赤，尽管你认为或明知你正确；谦虚冷静地把你的意见说出来，这是唯一能说服人的做法；如果这样还不行，就设法改变话题，心平气和地说:“看来我们谁也说服不了谁，也没有必要一定去说服谁，那就让我们谈点别的吧。”