为方便家长们学到最原汁原味的正面管教知识，我从国外找来一些正面管教资料。以下为正面管教英文站的译文（注：本人英文水平有限，以下内容是谷歌在线直译得来的，欢迎英语水平好的家长校正，我只是知识里的搬运工），更多详细的内容可以参考早期学习正面管教网友分享的正面管教揭密内容。
德雷克斯说：“孩子们需要鼓励，正如植物需要水。没有鼓励，他们就无法生存”。简·尼尔森也在正面管教一书中指明“鼓励是本书的焦点。”
"Children need encouragement, just as plants need water," Drakes said. They can't survive without encouragement. Jane Nelson also pointed out in the book "Encouragement is the focus of the book."
鼓励是给孩子提供机会，让他们培养“我有能力，我能贡献，我能影响发生在我身上的事情，我能知道我该怎么回应”的感知力。
Encouragement is to give children the opportunity to develop a sense of "I have the ability, I can contribute, I can influence what happens to me, I can know how to respond".
鼓励是教给孩子们在日常生活和人际关系中所必需的人生技能和社会责任感。
Encouragement is to teach children the necessary life skills and social responsibility in daily life and interpersonal relationships.
鼓励并没有想象中那么难，鼓励可以简单到是一个帮助孩子感觉好起来从而做的更好的拥抱。
Encouraging is not as difficult as you think. Encouraging can be as simple as a hug that helps children feel better and do better.
但鼓励也并没有那么简单，尤其是我们已经习惯性的表扬与赞美孩子。
But encouragement is not that simple, especially when we are used to praising and complimenting our children.
你有可能认为鼓励很简单，你平时经常鼓励孩子啊。
You may think encouragement is simple. You often encourage your children.
但大部分的情况是，你在表扬、赞美孩子，而不是鼓励孩子。
But most of the time, you're praising and complimenting your children, not encouraging them.
举个例子：孩子刚自己完成一幅画作，美滋滋地拿过来给妈妈欣赏，妈妈一看，张口就说：哇塞，宝贝你太棒了，太厉害了，妈妈超级喜欢这幅画！这一句话，就是表扬、赞美，而不是鼓励。
For example: the child just finished a painting by himself and brought it to his mother to appreciate beautifully. When the mother looked at it, she opened her mouth and said, "Wow, baby, you're great, you're terrific. Mother loves this painting very much!" This sentence is praise, praise, not encouragement.
那鼓励怎么说呢？
What about encouragement?
真正的鼓励是：宝贝，妈妈很开心你能自己完成这幅画，妈妈注意到你的色彩搭配很好，显得整幅画都活泼起来了。
The real encouragement is: Baby, Mom is very happy that you can finish the painting by yourself. Mom noticed that your color matching is very good and the whole painting is lively.
看出区别没有？
Do you see the difference?
鼓励关注点在孩子的行为上，会更细致的描述出孩子具体好在哪、成功在哪，他会让孩子觉得自己有价值，长期后果是自信、自立。
Encouraging the focus on children's behavior, more detailed description of the child's specific good and successful where, he will make children feel valuable, long-term consequences are self-confidence and self-reliance.
而赞美或表扬则关注点在做事的人身上，多数是评价式的，会让孩子感觉当自己得到他人认可的时候才有价值，长期后果是依赖于他人。
Praise or praise focuses on people who do things. Most of them are evaluative, which makes children feel valuable when they are recognized by others. The long-term consequences are dependent on others.
那如何正确鼓励孩子呢？
How to encourage children correctly?
简·尼尔森认为，鼓励需要正确的时机。在父母情绪激动的时候，会处于爬行动物脑阶段，是无法理智处理问题的。她在书中建议此时可以使用“积极的暂停”这一正面管教工具，去一个自己感觉舒适的角落让自己感觉好起来。
Jane Nelson believes that encouragement needs the right time. When parents are emotionally agitated, they are in the reptile brain stage and can not handle problems rationally. In her book, she suggests using positive pause, a positive discipline tool, to make yourself feel better in a comfortable corner.
积极的暂停不仅适用于孩子，也同样适用于父母。只有在我们感觉好的时候，我们才能做的好，父母是是这样，孩子也是。
Positive pauses apply not only to children, but also to parents. Only when we feel good can we do well. That's true of parents and children.
积极的暂停的使用有以下几个指导原则：
There are several guiding principles for active suspension:
1、花时间训练。
1. Take time to train.
2、让孩子们自己布置他们的暂停区——这是一个有助于他们心情好转以便做的更好的小地方。
2. Let the children set up their own suspension zones - this is a small place to help them feel better so that they can do better.
3、事先和孩子们商量好一个计划
3. Discuss a plan with the children beforehand.
4、最后，要教给孩子，当他们的感觉好起来之后，如果问题仍然存在，就要紧跟着找到解决问题的方案，或做出弥补。
4. Finally, we should teach our children that when they feel better, if the problem still exists, they should follow up to find solutions or make up for it.
正面管教一书中提到孩子不良行为背后一般会有四个错误目的，寻求权力、寻求过度关注、报复和自暴自弃。识别孩子错误目的，有助于父母改变孩子的不良行为。但其实改变孩子行为最有效的方法就是鼓励。
In the book of positive discipline, there are four wrong purposes behind children's bad behavior: seeking power, seeking excessive attention, revenge and self-abandonment. Identifying children's wrong purposes can help parents change their children's bad behavior. But the most effective way to change children's behavior is to encourage them.
行为不良的孩子是一个丧失了信心的孩子，一个受到鼓舞的孩子不需要行为不当。
A child who behaves badly is a child who loses confidence. An inspired child does not need to behave badly.
当家长的眼光着眼于孩子身上的优点时，你就对孩子的缺点的包容度也就增加了。
When parents focus on their children's strengths, your tolerance for their weaknesses increases.
记住你看到了什么就得到什么，当你关注积极方面时，对你自己和别人都是令人鼓舞的。
Keep in mind that you get what you see, and when you focus on the positive, it's encouraging for yourself and others.
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