19th July 2020. Sunday,
Dear my son,
Thanks so much for your study in children church. Thank you for sharing your Bible memory verse on the stage today .I was very happy to see that you memoried it perfectly. I like the memory you share a lot.It was my golden words for the whole week and sure would be longer .haha
Thanks so much to share that you struggled with."I think" about your turtles.Well,I was the same at the beginning of writing too.I am sure even the greatest author used to face same situation. Anyway,Practice makes perfect,Let's keep trying.
I was very appreciated that you help me to vacuum floor. I also wish you can keep in touch with your friend Jazmine. You guys knew each other during Mums's pregnancy .You been to Aunt Chona 's house for sleep over when you were not even knew how to crawl.
My dear boy, Mummy praised you to to share Youtube videos with me before bed. I always wish you and I choose to be nice to ourselves first.
From the video what I See problems ：
1. Someone dont prioritize his own needs.
2. Someone constantly say sorry.
3. Someone agrees to things NOT want to do..
4. Someone oftens say yes immediately.
5. Someone dont tell people what he wants.
6. Someone have a strong need to be liked.
7. Someone is very conflict averse..
8. Others often take advantage of him
What I think:
当别人请求我们帮忙的时候，我们需要优先考虑自己的需求，每个人都需要先完成自己的工作。如果下次有同学找你去玩，不要着急答应，如果正在写作业，那就先把作业写完。
不要总说对不起，但是做错了，就一定要道歉，只有意识到自己自己有做错，才能有机会变得更好。我们每个人都是不完美的，我们接纳自己的不完美。
对于你不想做的事，需要看特定的环境，还有具体是什么样的事情，需要辩证思维方式来看待事情。别人找你帮忙，你你不想做，就不能去答应。我们每个人都拥有拒绝他人的权利。这更主要是针对同龄人。
亲爱的孩子，我们都需要学会，并且多尝试告诉别人我们想要的是什么。比如妈妈想要你爹地不抽烟，因为抽烟产生的二手烟会让妈妈呼吸困难，还有也担心影响到你和弟弟打健康。虽然我提出了需求，他未必就能接受，那也不要紧，我们终究不能改变他吸烟的事实，只能先改变自己看待吸烟事以及做自己力所能及的事。我们也会彼此妥协，感恩你爹地一直是室外抽烟？
亲爱的孩子，请记住你不仅仅是被人喜欢，你是被神所珍爱，家人也都很爱你，无条件爱你，爱你的本真。我们不要害怕冲突，因为不管是冲突还是失败，都是生活的一部分，我们用学习的成长型思维来看待，不断成长我们自己。
有时候别人喜欢来利用我们，亲爱的孩子，我们不是神，每个人都有自己对尺度，如果他人索求超过了你能承受的，一定要开口讲出你的感受。
感恩我这段时间读《非暴力沟通》这本书，讲到有四要素，观察事实，表达感受，理解需要，提出请求。我们不是为了他人而学习沟通方式，而是为了我们能在与人交谈中，能够觉察，能够醒悟，聆听彼此心灵深处的需要，才能把爱融入生活。
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