无眠夜

星期六早上六点我准备出发去上班地方，雪姐儿五点多起来我给她刷牙洗脸喂了早餐，临走前把她送到鸟人房间。出门后我收到鸟人发的短信。

鸟人：Ummmm it’s not 7.

我：Schedule change. She had breakfast and brushed teeth. They had shower yesterday.

Please find Lele’s US birthday certificate and copy your passport picture page and your China visa page. You are welcome to use the printer downstairs. Next Tuesday Chicago trip.

鸟人：Schedule change and let me know at the last minute?  Ok that’s how we can do things then, you better have May 12 taken off because I’m leaving early.  I will copy all of the documents on MY time not yours.

我：She usually doesn’t get up that early. May 12 I am off. Just a reminder in case you don’t have time to do copies when you work. You usually do things at the very last minute, this time I can not “afford” any mistakes.

鸟人：Then give me something and I will do it right away.

中午休息我看到他的短信但我没回，下班后到了蜜蜂哥家才回的。

我：You have all the documents.

By the way, please give Sisi some yoghurt during the weekend. She was crying when pooping last Sunday night.

鸟人：That’s not what I meant so either you are really dumb or playing dumb, either way you will have the docs when I get them.

我想方面问他是不是有病，打他电话他没接。

鸟人：Yes?

鸟人：?

鸟人：Something to say?

我：So you are still asking to have sex with me? I wish I misunderstood. Look, as I said, you are my past, I don’t have any feelings to you any more, you keep thinking like this, I am very upset. To be honest, every time I see you playing with the kids, I am happy for our kids, but that is the only thing I feel happy about you. I would give my best wish to your future and your love if you respect me as I ask and be nice. I think I was very nice to you until you bothered me again and again. I could screenshot what you said  and send them to your girlfriend, I could call police, but I did not do either. I hope you understand why. 1st, you are kids father, I don’t want kids to lose their father. 2nd, I love your mother, I don’t want to break her heart. 3rd, I can not really hate a man I slept with. Please, don’t push me to hate you.

鸟人：I didn’t ask for anything, and good luck with whatever evidence you think you might have

鸟人：And please don’t try to “threaten” me, I don’t want to be here and I don’t want you in my family at all... but this is what it is.

Oh and you are paying for me for the time I miss work right + gas?

对于这么一个不要脸的人我已经词穷。当初自己要假扮好人说送我们去芝加哥，现在反而问我要弥补他不上班的损失。邮费我早跟他说了我会付，我还会付一切在路上必要的开支（比如停车费关卡费如果有的话）。

蜜蜂哥也十分气愤，要我准备告他，先是打电话去电话公司问怎样调取短信记录，又是问性骚扰求助机构咋整。

（我手机上很多鸟人的短信被删。之前是因为我心软，怕自己冲动把他告了，自己删的。最近的一段鸟人骚扰我的短信记录神秘“失踪”，我和蜜蜂哥都怀疑是他趁我给雪姐儿看视频我上厕所时故意删的。）

周六有些部门没上班或者下班早，短信记录没调到，但我们总算知道怎样拿证据。睡前，蜜蜂哥貌似又改变主意啦，我呢其实也不想现在捅个鱼死网破，用这些记录争取全部抚养权是必须的，但要在我搬家出去站稳脚跟之后，让鸟人身败名裂我暂时做不到，我们有共同的孩子，他妈还是我干妈。可他老这样搅乱我的生活，在离婚前其实也是经常这样刷流氓让我很郁闷。我很烦，根本没法入眠。于是给鸟人发了短信。

我：See, you are mean again! I am not threatening you, I am just telling you I care about Mom, you and our kids. It is you and what you are doing make me so upset and frustrated. No, I am not paying the time you miss for work, you said you are taking us to a Chicago. Yes, I will pay gas. If you change your mind, I will pay Dad to take us there, with the documents I have, plus Lele US Birth Certificate, I will see I and Lele s luck. If we fail, I give up China visit plan which I dream for years, I and Lele both will be very frustrated and unhappy. I will tell my family and my friends I don’t have any others choices. I m not going nowhere then, so there won’t any exchange for watching kids, you need pay me money for watching kids in the weekends and child support during your absence. I know, you don’t care about me. Why you care about me? Care if I smile or cry? You just want to make yourself happy. I really don’t know how to deal with you. You are lonely for now, but you are getting together with your girl friend, I don’t know why you are doing this to me? You don’t care what I say, if I say nice you think something wrong, if I say straight, you get back to your mean. Thinking for the kids, that is the only reason I choose to stay there. And you don’t have right to say, I leave or stay. I pay more rent than you do.

第二早他回的。

鸟人：I’m not here to read all that and neither do I care like I said... you do what you want and when you want.  Nothing you will say moves me, and I never said I would do this trip for free because I need pay for paper copies of the documents, the parking in Chicago, the tolls on the way down there.  So I propose $120 and I’ll gladly take you down there without saying a dam word.  And you watch the kids for two weeks, you will be gone a month so you fucking pay me then if you want me to pay you, don’t play those games with me Sofia...  also, I doubt you pay more then me for rent here, because I know you pay less then 300, stop complaining and thinking you are something special.

他说话很难听。我和蜜蜂哥看了他的短信都想揍他。但后来我一想，他嘴毒，其实也算信守诺言带我跟孩子去芝加哥，做这件事也需要他的身份信息，他去是最好的。我只要他合作办成事我带儿子先回国，不要跟他计较先，反正跟他这样的人以牙还牙吃亏的人还是我，因为他冷血无情，习惯了。

我：I will pay you 120$ and your lunch in Chicago (Not fancy one). Thank you.