如我们所知,日常生活就是一个嬗变的过程。我穷困,我的行动目标是发财;我丑陋,我想变得美丽悦人。所以,我的生活就是嬗变的过程,生存的意志,就是在不同的意识层面上,在不同的状态里不断嬗变,这其中有挑战、回应、冠名、储存。
嬗变就是抗争,嬗变就是痛苦,不是吗?我是这样子,我想变成那样子,所以嬗变就是永远的抗争。
——克里希那穆提《生命书:365静心日课》(The Book of Life: Daily Meditations with Krishnamurti)
译按:
becoming,多数中译本译作“变成”或“成为”,我觉得“变易”、“嬗变”或“蜕变”略好一些,至少更像名词。
这是一个不易译、不易解的概念,我个人的理解:我现状是-A(如烟瘾、肥胖、穷困、丑陋),我努力拼搏,以消灭-A,嬗变到理想+A,这是人们最通常的思维逻辑。努力拼搏追求嬗变,越想对抗、消灭现状-A,本质上越是不断地肯定与强化-A,执着不去,所以我的人格被分裂为-A与+A两极,内心冲突矛盾,此起彼伏,空耗能量,精疲力尽,但事倍功半。
所以克氏说:嬗变,即抗争,即痛苦。比如我有烟瘾,我下定决心,千方百计戒烟,但烟瘾反而越压越强,戒烟就成了分裂、抗争与苦痛。再如超重减肥,用尽节食、跑步、健身房等一切手段,可能会短暂压住食欲与体重,但稍一松懈,就会报复性反弹,这是显见的抗争与苦痛。穷富、丑美也是同样的二元分裂,只是理解起来要稍费周折。
naming(冠名)与recording(储存),略解如下:当我有了某种莫名的感受,一种全新的内心体验,那一时刻我与感受融合一体,没有二元分别。一旦我想抓住那份美好,要与记忆里旧有的感受对上号,或者起个名字(naming),存到记忆库里(recording),此时我已经从那体验中跳出来了,我想抓住它、储存它,这时就是二元对待了,此时那份体验就僵死了,成了记忆里的一个格子、一张标签,这些记忆格子与标签,就是心灵的束缚。“名可名,非常名。”也大略如此。
碰巧刚才在书店里看到米歇尔 • 奥巴马的自传Becoming中译本,书名就叫《变成》。又及。
Becoming Is Strife
Life as we know it, our daily life, is a process of becoming. I am poor and I act with an end in view, which is to become rich. I am ugly and I want to become beautiful. Therefore my life is a process of becoming something. The will to be is the will to become, at different levels of consciousness, in different states, in which there is challenge, response, naming, and recording.
Now, this becoming is strife, this becoming is pain, is it not? It is a constant struggle: I am this, and I want to become that.
FEBRUARY 1
网友评论