一生行走在画画的路上

一生行走在画画的路上

文/颜克

之前，朋友在空间里看到我上传的画关于电线杆的速写，评论说：“怎么拍的？古典，黑白，纯静！”我说是画的，他说：“都以为是拍的，原来是亲手画的，不错啊！一定要赞！！”想要我拿给他看看。

今天见到，就带了速写本给他看。末了，他说：“画如其人，在空间里只看到了四幅，看完就想了很多，知道是你画的，仿佛从画面中能体会到你的心情。今天看到速写本里这么多，仿佛看到了你在菲律宾的思想历程”。接着，朋友又谦虚地说：“我不懂绘画啊，只是瞎说。”我说：“真正的艺术不是给专家看的，它就是生活中平常的再平常不过的事情，就像我画的这些电线杆，他们是真实的在那里，在碧瑶的大街小巷，在一年又一年的历史中，我的画笔只是一个记录，或者我的笔下有一点我的思想在里面。”他说：“第一遍是倒着看的，第二遍又从头看的，从你的第一幅画到最后，感觉到了你内心的纠结和挣扎，看到了你画面里的不同，你的挣扎可能不只是这看似纷乱而又有序的电线，是电线以外的事情，或许是工作、生活、情感······我说不好，因为只是直观印象，并没有对你做更多的了解。从构图，到表现方式，又加入了中国元素，这是菲律宾没有的东西。”我说：“是啊，之前我一直在画碧瑶的风景，色彩斑斓的建筑，狭窄的小巷，半山腰的别墅，小木屋，铁皮房，像是童话一样在山坡的彩色房子……突然有一天，我对街道里的电线杆有了兴趣，就开始画了。画多了，笔下可能不仅仅是电线杆了，而是我三十多年生活的缩影。”朋友说：“从画里面可以看得出来，你当时的心境和内心所要表达的情感。”我说：“也许最开始画电线杆的那个时段，我郁闷，无助，彷徨，为着莫须有的罪名伤害自己。把自己关在一个无形的牢笼，颓废而又荒芜的消磨时光，或是睡得分不清梦境和现实。很多时候，只有画画时安静美好，仿佛周围匆忙的人群和我无关，狂风暴雨和我无关，生死都与我无关，而我画画，必须要遵从写生，我要看着我的景物，找到兴奋点，选一个构图像是遇见一个一见钟情一样，然后一笔一笔画下去，我能看到我画的对象有了灵魂，和我交流对话。为此，工作之余，我行走在碧瑶的大街小巷，感受这里的风土人情，用我的笔，认真的记录眼睛看到的，肌肤感受到的，碧瑶的风，云，雨，露，雾，碧瑶的山水，树木，房屋，落日，朝阳，用脚步丈量出画布的距离，或是沿着地图去行走。同事不理解我的辛苦，说你可以相机拍照，呆在屋子里画画多好，一个女孩子，背着大包出去又累又危险。这样的话语我无力反驳，这就像你无比想念你爱人，你愿意只看着他的照片吗？我说：“对着照片画是好，我的画是我的情人，与我聊天，低语，与我拥抱，缠绵，只有在写生的时候，才能找到这样的感觉，对着电脑屏幕，就像看着远方爱人的照片，只有发呆。格雷戈里·考伯尔说过：‘如果有什么意外发生让我丢了性命，那不是个悲剧，因为我在做我热爱的事。睡觉前想到，明天还会做爱的事，那是一种恩赐。’”是的，同事或许真的是担心我的安危，他甚至说，你忘情画画的时候会不会有人从背后袭击你？天哪！我从来没有想过这样的事情，我画的是美好，我写的是美好，我所做的事情，也是美好，我相信这个世界的美好，所以我说，像格雷戈里·考伯尔说过的那样，如果我是在画画的时候死的，那将是一生最幸福的事，死而无憾。

现在，很多画家已经不遵从写生了，或许是这个高科技发达的今天，你想要什么样的效果数码一拍，后期一做，再用画笔简单复制，太容易了，高产又省力，何必要写生呢？或许一天，一个月，风吹日晒雨淋的。我常常肩膀夹着伞一手拿速写本一手拿画笔，可能画好一幅速写要三个小时或许更多，下来浑身僵硬，但看到遵从自己内心的笔触，对眼前景象的描绘，生命就充满了力量。还记得大学时候，最难忘的回忆就是一年有半个月去山里写生，背着画板，带着干粮，在太行山画画，一画一天，那个时候，纯粹的，只有山水之间和与山水融合在一起的年轻的我们。每一幅写生，或许不够好，不成熟，但就像是自己的孩子，怎么样都是好的，像你，不像别人，不是胶片或是数码记录的，不是每个人几乎都一样的风景拷贝。孩子有了，后期的再创作就像是培养自己的孩子成才一样，心里有数，只是让他安静美好的成长。到现在为止，我的背包里，永远有一支笔和一个速写本，所有的生活间隙，画上几笔，这便是一天的精神食粮。想到来菲律宾的时候不知道面对的是什么样的困难或危险，但我知道，我要去看，去行走，去深入生活，去感受，去画画和写字，记录生命的过程。突然想到农夫山泉的广告词：“我们不生产水,我们只是大自然的搬运工!”我不是在凭空想象，我也不能对着电脑画画，我只是在用我的画笔记录，我看到的，感受到的，用我的生命，用我的足迹，用我的心表达我对这个世界的爱，表现这个世界的美好。我将一生行走在画画的路上，用一只笔来记录灵魂到过的地方。2014.12.14午夜11点

Walking on the Painting Road in Life

Before I upload the picture, see friends on the poles in the space in the sketch, commented: "how to shoot? Classical, black and white, pure quiet!" I said it was a picture, he said: "it was taken, the original is personally painted, good ah! Must praise!!" I want to show him..

I see him today, I brought a sketch book to him. Finally, he said: "the painting is such as the person, I only see four pictures in his chatting room, after watching, I think much, I know that you draw, as if I can feel your mood from the picture. Today I saw the sketch book so much, as if I see your thought process in Philippines". Then, friends said modestly: "I do not know what painting ah, just nonsense." I said: "the real art is not for the specialist, it is normal life in common thing, as I painted the poles, they are true there, in the streets of Baguio City, in the years of history, my brush just a record, or my pen is inside my thinking." He said: "the first time is backwards to see, the second time is to see from your first painting to the end. I could feel your inner struggles, see your picture in different, your struggle may not just this seemingly chaotic and orderly wire, it is the thing outside of the wire, perhaps the work, life and emotion - - - - - -what I said is not good, because the only visual impression, and no more understanding of yours. From the composition to the way of expression, and joined the elements of China, this is not something in Philippines." I said: "yes, before I was drawing painting scenery in Baguio , colorful buildings, narrow alleys, halfway up the mountain villa, cabins, metal housing, as the fairy tale told in hillside color house... Suddenly one day, I was interested in the wire rod in the street, and began to draw.. The painting is more, the pen may be not just wire rod, but my life in the epitome of 30 years." a friend said: "from the painting ,I can see your mood and heart to express feelings." I said: "perhaps at the first beginning I draw poles at that time, I was depressed, helpless, disappointed, for the sake of trumped up charges hurt yourself. To shut oneself in an invisible cage, the decadent and barren waste of time, or the sleep scores of dreams and reality. Most of the time, only painting, quiet and beautiful, as if the people around the crowd have nothing to do with me, the storm had nothing to do with me, life and death have nothing to do with me, and about my painting and I must follow the sketch, I want to look at me in the scene and find the excitement point, choosing a frame image is just like meeting a love at first sight, then a pen strokes down, I can see I draw the object with the soul, and I exchange and dialogue. Therefore, after I finish my work, I walk in the streets of Baguio, I feel the local conditions and customs, with my pen, careful record of eyes to see, skin feels, Baguio City wind, cloud, rain, dew, fog, Baguio City landscape, trees, distance from the house, the setting sun, sun, with a measured pace a canvas or along the map to walk. Colleagues do not understand my hard, saying that you can take pictures of the camera, staying in the room to draw much better, a girl, carrying a bag out and tired and dangerous. I can't refute this discourse, it is like you miss your lover, would you like to look at his photo? I said: "in front of the picture is good, my painting is my lover, and chat with me, whisper, and I embrace, lingering, only when the sketch to find such a feeling, in front of a computer screen, like looking at a distant lover photos. Only in a daze. Cobar Gregory said: 'if anything happens for me, it's not a tragedy because I'm doing what I love to do.. It's a gift to go to sleep and to love tomorrow. " Yes, the colleagues might really is worried about my safety. He even said, you indifferent when painting will not attacked from behind you? What is! I have never thought of such a thing, my painting is good, what I wrote is beautiful, I do things, but also beautiful, I believe the goodness of the world. So I said, like Gregory Cobar said, if I were dead in the drawing, the life is the happiest thing without any regrets.

Now, many artists has not conforming to sketch, perhaps is the high-tech developed today, you want what kind of digital effects a beat, later, simply copy and then brush, too easy, labor saving and high yield, why to the sketch? Maybe one day, one month, expose to the weather and rain. I often shoulder tucked umbrella in one hand and take sketch the hand holding the brush, may draw a sketch to three hours maybe more, after drawing the whole body is stiff, but see strokes to follow your heart, on the front of the scene description, life is full of power. Remember when I was in the University, the most unforgettable memories is a year with half a month to sketch in the mountains, back on the drawing board on my back, with dry food, draw in the Taihang Mountains, a painting a day, at that time, pure, only between the mountains and rivers and landscape fusion together of our youth. Every piece of sketch, perhaps it is not good enough, not mature, but as my own children, how is good, like you, unlike the others, is not a film or digital recording, not everyone is almost the same scenery copy. The child has, and later re creation is like to develop their own children's talent, Heart, just let him quiet and beautiful growth. Up to now, my backpack, there is always a pen and a sketchbook, between all the life, painting a few strokes, which is a day of spiritual food.

 When I come here, I do not know what kind of difficult or dangerous things I will face in Philippines, but I know, I want to go to see, to walk, to go deep into life, to feel, to draw and write and record of the life process. Suddenly thought of Farmer’s spring's ad: "we do not produce water, we are just the nature of Porter." I'm not imagined, I can't draw in front of the computer, I just record of my brush, I see, feel, with my life, my footprint, with my heart expression my love to the world, the goodness of the world. I will walk on the road in my life and record my soul in a pen..

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