小伙伴们大家好，欢迎来到每周的“国外也有段子手”。上周的欧洲赛场精彩看点层出不穷，欧冠赛事重燃战火，皇马、巴萨、尤文、国米、利物浦、曼联等球队纷纷取胜，而曼城则在主场输给里昂。周末联赛，曼联被狼队逼平，巴萨与赫罗纳握手言和，而曼城、阿森纳、利物浦和皇马等球队则顺利取胜。好了，话不多说，让我们快来看看歪果仁们的精彩吐槽吧！
梅西带帽，巴萨4-0埃因霍温
AceTheSkylord(巴萨球迷)：梅西在踢任意球上，应该是获得博士学位了吧！(Messi has a Ph.D degree in free kicks.)
Bucktubb(尤文球迷)：能考虑来我文读个博后吗？可以和C罗住一起！(Hey Messi can you come to Juve for a post doc? You can live with Ronaldo)
Godornogod(利物浦球迷)：梅西已经获得诺贝尔任意球奖提名了！(Messi'd get nominated for the Nobel free kick prize.)
Tzombio(哥本哈根球迷)：我儿子让我在梅西进球的时候不要嚎叫，嘿嘿，以后他也许会明白，当年那一夜要不是因为梅西进了球，这儿子可就造不出来喽！(My son told me not to scream if Messi scores lol. Maybe one day my son will realize that he won’t be created if Messi didn’t score on that wonderful night.)
ssj_cule(巴萨球迷)：梅西任意球的弧线，可比我女朋友的好看多了...(Messi’s free kick curves are better than my gf's :)
feedmekn0wledge(未知主队球迷)：巴尔韦德的巴萨绝对开作弊器了！让对手在禁区外犯规然后让梅西踢任意球，这也太简单了！(Valverde’s Barcelona’s cheat code: Get fouled outside the box and Messi scores a freekick, it’s much too easy.)
DrunkSpace(皇马球迷)：梅西你再进球我可发誓要骂你了！你…你是个大坏蛋！ヽ(`Д´)ノ(Messi, I swear to curse you if you don’t stop, you…you are so badヽ(`Д´)ノ)
Marc0sMenendez(皇马球迷)：看梅西在巴萨踢球就像是看C罗在葡萄牙踢西班牙一样，真是让人又爱又恨…(Watching Messi play for Barca is pretty much like watching Ronaldo with Portugal against Spain. Got to love them and hate them at the same time. :/)
PiorARG(未知主队球迷)：这个叫梅西的家伙踢得还可以啊！那FIFA排名前3的球员岂不是得进更多的球？(This Messi guy is kinda good, i wonder how much more are the top 3 FIFA players scoring.)
LordBaldomero(未知主队球迷)：苏亚雷斯的防守能力绝对被低估了，你看他今天给埃因霍温贡献了多少关键解围！(Suarez does so many defensive clearances for PSV, I don’t think he gets enough recognition for it.)
Faceoftheancients(拜仁球迷)：很遗憾我的孩子还太年幼不能看这比赛，因为我不想给他看屠杀…(It's sad that by the time my kids are old enough to watch, I'd prefer not to show murder to them...)
ManoLorca(德国球迷)：看着登贝莱的进球，多特只好边哭边用钞票擦泪了…(Dortmund drying up their tears with cash seeing that Dembele’s goal.
C罗染红，尤文2-0瓦伦西亚
ntusabu_7md(尤文球迷)：我有点想念布冯和基耶利尼在做出扑救或解围之后，用力朝对方的脸大吼的时候了…(I miss Buffon and Chiellini screaming into each others faces after one of them makes a save or a perfect tackle :(
Hellve(国米球迷)：万万没想到，我竟然还有位尤文鸣不平的时候…(I can't believe I feel bad for juve.)
dodo9715(皇马球迷)：这是欧足联下的一步大棋，就是想让C罗掏VAR的钱罢了！(4D chess move by UEFA. Make Ronaldo pay for VAR by giving him red.)
KingNothing(巴萨球迷)：裁判确实很烂，但瓦伦西亚好像踢得更烂…(Valencia bottled this game harder than the ref.)
Humorjerky(瓦伦西亚球迷)：尤文的后卫好像都不屑于防守我们的前锋了，因为他们根本就踢不进球的…(Juventus defenders are not even trying to stop our strikes because they know we're too shit to finish any of them.)
欧冠开门红，皇马3-0罗马
Theglasscase(尤文球迷)：莫德里奇的传球，我一个大老爷们都看得怀孕了…(I’m a man but Modric's pass made me pregnant.)
Saadabdullah(皇马球迷)：给魔笛生孩子的女人是得有多幸运啊！(Lucky is the woman who bears Luka's childs.)
D-V-Ant(未知主队球迷)：要是孩子只继承了魔笛的长相而没有继承球技，那可就麻烦了…(Unless it inherits his face and none of football skills.)
St_Roch(奥萨苏纳球迷)：这怕啥，不还有好多钞票可以继承吗？(At least there’s still a lot of money to inherit.)
Muluspublius(皇马球迷)：什么鬼，阿森西奥射门的时候我忍不住呻吟了一声，我爹看我的眼神已经不对了…(Fuck, I moaned a little at that asensio shoot, got a weird look from my dad.)
MistahS(未知主队球迷)：这到底是欧冠比赛，还是皇马的训练赛啊？(Is this a Real madrd training session or a champions league match?)
好了，亲爱的小伙伴们，本期的“国外也有段子手”就为大家播报到这了，让我们拭目以待，来看下期歪果仁们更加精彩的犀利吐槽吧！
网友评论