爱的艺术系列：
摘录《How to Love》-THICH NHAT HANH 一行禅师
翻译本人
SPIRITUAL PRACTICE
Spirituality doesn't mean a blind belief in a spiritual teaching. Spirituality is a practice that brings relief, communication, and transformation. Everyone needs a spiritual dimension in life. Without a spiritual dimension, it's very challenging to be with the daily difficulties we all encounter. With a spiritual practice, you're no longer afraid. Along with your physical body, you have a spiritual body.
The practices of breathing, walking, concentration, and understanding can help you greatly in dealing with your emotions, in listening to and embracing your suffering, and in helping you to recognize and embrace the suffering of another person. If we have this capacity, then we can develop a real and lasting spiritual intimacy with ourselves and with others.
灵性修行
灵性修行并不意味着对灵性教导的盲目信仰。灵性是一种能带来解脱、沟通和转变的实践。每个人在生活中都需要灵性（精神）层面。如果没有灵性精神层面，我们每天面对遇到的困难会具有挑战性。修行之后，你就不再感到害怕了。除了你的肉体，你还有一个灵性（精神）身体。
呼吸、行走、专注和理解的练习可以极大地帮助你处理你的情绪，倾听和拥抱你的痛苦，帮助你认识和拥抱别人的痛苦。如果我们有这种能力，我们就能与自己及他人建立真正持久的灵性精神-亲密关系。
SAYING NO
Loving someone doesn't mean saying "yes" to whatever the other person wants. The basis of loving someone else is to know yourself and to know what you need. I know a woman who suffered very much because she couldn't say "no." From the time she was young, whenever a man asked her for something, she felt she had to say "yes" even when she didn't want to. It's important that loving another person doesn't take priority over listening to yourself and knowing what you need.
说“不”
爱一个人并不意味着答应对方的任何要求。爱别人的基础是了解自己，知道自己需要什么。我认识一个女人，她因为不能说“不”而遭受了很多痛苦。从她年轻的时候起，每当有男人向她要什么东西时，即使是她不愿意的时候她都觉得自己必须说“是”。重要的是，爱另一个人并不比倾听自己、和了解自己的需求更重要。
BREATHING TO AVOID AN ARGUMENT
Everyone knows that blaming and arguing never help; but we forget. Conscious breathing helps us develop the ability to stop at that crucial moment, to keep ourselves from saying or doing something we regret later. Practice conscious breathing when things are going well with your partner, then it will be there for you when things get hard.
专注呼吸来避免争执
每个人都知道责备和争吵是没有用的; 但我们容易忘记这样的道理。为了不让自己说后悔的话或做后悔的事，有意识的呼吸是可以帮助我们发展“暂停”的能力——在关键时刻停下来。当你和你的伴侣相处顺利时，练习有意识的呼吸，那么即使事情变得困难时，你的呼吸也会帮助你处于当下之光。
LISTENING WITH PATIENCE
When your loved one is talking, practice listening deeply. Sometimes the other person will say something that surprises us, that is the opposite of the way we see things. Allow the other person to speak freely. Don't cut your loved one off or criticize their words. When we listen deeply with all our heart-for ten minutes, half an hour, or even an hour-wewill begin to see the other person more deeply and understand them better. If they say something that's incorrect, that's based on a wrong perception, we can give them a little information later on to help them correct their thinking. But right now, we just listen.
耐心倾听
当你爱的人与你交谈时，练习认真倾听。有时候他们会说一些让我们惊讶的话，那是我们看待事物的方式不同。允许对方畅所欲言。不要切断他们的谈话或批评他们的话。当我们全神贯注地倾听10分钟，半个小时，甚至一小时——我们
会开始更深刻地看对方，更好地理解他们。如果他们说了一些不正确的东西，那也可能是基于一个错误的感知上，我们可以在稍后再给他们提供一些信息来帮助他们更正自己的想法。但是在当下，在现在，我们只需倾听。
晚安，好梦！
欢迎关注我❤️May love always be with you.
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