一、Welcome To Holland - by Emily Perl Kingsley
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this……
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planing a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phraeses in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!" you say. "What double you menn Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence and disease. It's just a different palce.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around...and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills...and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But erveryone you know is busy coming and going from Italy...and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away...because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But...if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things...about Holland.
是的,你想要一个健康的、聪明的孩子,时而上蹿下跳,时而能说会道,你想要教会他很多的技能,把他培养成一个比自己好无数倍的人才。
但是,事实有变,上帝给你送来一个体弱多病的,智力残疾一级的孩子,一个走路不稳,不会说话,生活不能自理的孩子,你还不能拒绝。
当身边的同时朋友都在聊他们的孩子最近又做了什么搞怪的事情,说了什么搞笑的言语时,幸福感、成就感在他们的周围蔓延,你呢?所有的付出都没有什么结果,孩子的进步慢到你的信心和希望都在慢慢消逝...
你能怎么办?你该怎么办?陷入自责与失望不能自拔么?沉浸于嫉妒和挫败无法站起么?
有没有可能,你平静的去体验这个不一样的人生,虽然过程孤独,但也可以是充满希望和幸福的...
二、牵一只蜗牛去散步 - 张文亮
上帝给我一个任务, 叫我牵一只蜗牛去散步。
我不能走太快, 蜗牛已经尽力爬, 为何每次总是那么一点点?
我催它, 我唬它, 我责备它。
蜗牛用抱歉的眼光看着我, 仿佛说:“人家已经尽力了嘛!”
我拉它,我扯它,甚至想踢他。
蜗牛受了伤,它流着汗,喘着气,往前爬......真奇怪, 为什么上帝叫我牵着一只蜗牛去散步?
"上帝啊! 为什么?"
天上一片安静。"哎! 也许上帝抓蜗牛去了!"
好吧! 松手了!
反正上帝不管了,我还管什么?
让蜗牛往前爬,我在后面生闷气。咦?
我闻到花香,原来这边还有个花园,
我感到微风,原来夜里的微风这么温柔。慢着!
我听到鸟叫,我听到虫鸣。
我看到满天的星斗多亮丽!咦?
我以前怎么 没有这般细腻的体会?
我忽然想来了,莫非我错了?
是上帝叫一只蜗牛牵我去散步。
还记得在上海新华医院,一个很慈祥、商量的社工阿姨,说上次是怜悯的,总是把这样的孩子降临在心善的家庭,因为只有这样,他们才能得到好的看护和陪伴。这么说对孩子是一种爱意和安慰,但对家长来说,怎么总觉得不公平啊,我善良,我做好人,难得就得到上帝这样的对待么?
但是等等,也许上帝就是想通过这样的孩子磨炼我们,更加促进我们成长?
上天不仁,以万物为刍狗。
不管什么上帝不上帝了,不管生活给我我们什么,怎么对待生活都是我们自己能决定的,我们永远是我们自己精神世界的国王,而我这个国王给我自己下的圣旨就是,用心陪伴孩子成长,最大程度的发挥孩子的能力,在此同时,也最大程度的发挥自己的潜能。
网友评论