In my next life

In my next life, I want to live life backwards.

You start out dead and get that out of the way.

Then you wake up in an old people's home,

Feeling better every day.

You get kicked out for being too healthy,

Go collect your pension,

And then when you start work,

You get a gold watch and a party on your first day.

You work for 40 years until you're young enough

To enjoy your retirement.

You party, drink alcohol,

And are generally promiscuous,

Then you are ready for high school.

You then go to primary school,

You become a kid, you play.

You have no responsibilities.

You become a baby until you are born.

And then you spend your last 9 months

Floating in luxurious spa-like conditions

With central heating and room service on tap,

Larger quarters every day and then

Voila! You finish off as an orgasm!

下辈子，我想倒着活一回。

第一步就是死亡，然后把它抛之脑后。

在敬老院睁开眼

一天比一天感觉好，

直到因为太健康被踢出去。

领上养老金，然后开始工作。

第一天就买得起金表，

还有庆祝派对。

40年后，够年轻了，

可以去享受不用上班的生活了。

狂欢，喝酒，恣情纵欲，

然后是时候上中学了。

接着，再上小学，

彻底变成个孩子

无忧无虑地玩个够，

肩上没有任何负担。

再之后，成了婴儿，刚刚出生。

人生最后十个月，

在奢华的水疗池里漂着

那里有中央供暖，客房服务随叫随到

住的地方一天比一天大，

最后“啪”的一声

我在（父母的）高潮中结束此生！