In the tough environments, some great people appears. But in the easeful environments, there are also some pains added on people. Weakness and inability appear in every person. And may almost every person who ever tried to be better has been experienced the powerless of no time.
At March 4, 2011, I started recording my diary. Then I recorded many things I once cared and forgot. I record my life and mind, till now, it is seven years. It is also the first time in my memory that I felt powerless for the passing time. I want to have a better grade to enter a better middle high school. But when I wanted to focus on my study found out a serious problem, it is even hard for me to start an extra review plan. There are many accidents happened. I am not a hard-working student. I want to one of them, whereas time passes day by day, I always fail to control myself. I experienced conceited, doubted and disappointed. It is like an endless circle and let me afraid. When I noticed this, it is 2014.
Thus, I eager to find a way to stop the circle. Though the internet, I did find some methods. And I invented some methods that maybe many people have invented too. Although most of them seems useless, I gradually know “We don’t have time!” is not a single problem. It is related to many aspects. My moods, such as anxiety, satisfied, excited, will impact the process of study; my physical conditions, such as tired which cause of over-exercise or less sleep, will impact the efficiency of study and so on and so forth. A lot new problems appear as I am pushing on the process of my study. The deadline of my homework is tomorrow, do I need to stay up late to finish it? How much I do is finished? After several days I stay up too late, I cannot keep going it forever. Then I start think about give me a break, but a lot loan of homework are coming. Before these problems come to bother me, the essential problem is that I cannot focus myself as I am energetic and sometimes I am, but the more times, I need to be energetic I am so tired.
Problems are too many. I won’t example them one by one. Then in 2016, I started a new kind of recording besides my diary. It is a time recording tool called Pomodoro technique. The technique uses a timer to break down work into intervals, traditionally 25 minutes in length, separated by short breaks. I only had 10 pomodoros at the first month. Then it grew up gradually to 44. However, because of the summer break, my pomodoro came back to 10 and even lower. The situation became better until September, the school opened. It grew up to 51, then 87, 84 and sudden came down to 39. After this, the starting of 2107 seems pretty good, I got 103 pomodoros in January.
This experience is the longest struggle in my life. Time tells me: don’t repose hope on others. There is a such story in world, someone met a good teacher or parent. And after a long time work, they succeed. Story is the story, but it is too simple. The only way to go out the circle is self-struggling.
I wish I can find my value in the society and study in my whole life.
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