CHAPTER 8
1.7Pain +Reflection = Progress.
痛苦+反馈=进步
There is no avoidingpain, especially if you’re going after ambitious goals. Believe it or not, youare lucky to feel that kind of pain if you approach it correctly, because it isa signal that you need to find solutions so you can progress. If you candevelop a reflexive reaction to psychic pain that causes you to reflect on itrather than avoid it, it will lead to your rapid learning/evolving.22After seeing how much more effective it is to face the painful realities thatare caused by your problems, mistakes, and weaknesses, I believe you won’t wantto operate any other way. It’s just a matter of getting in the habit of doingit.
不回避痛苦，尤其当你胸怀大志。不论你是否相信，如果你能正确的行事，你会感到幸运感受那种痛苦，因为那是接近成功，发现解决之道的信号。如果你能发展出一套精神苦楚的自反馈的反应系统而不是一味回避痛苦，那么这个系统将引导你通往快速成长进化。如果你看到了因为自身问题，错误，缺点而引发的面对痛苦的真相而带来的高效，我相信你不会尝试其他办法了。剩下的就是形成习惯而已。
Most people have a toughtime reflecting when they are in pain and they pay attention to other thingswhen the pain passes, so they miss out on the reflections that provide thelessons. If you can reflect well while you’re in pain (which is probably toomuch to ask), great. But if you can remember to reflect after it passes, that’svaluable too. (I created a Pain Button app to help people do this, which Idescribe in the appendix.)
The challenges you facewill test and strengthen you. If you’re not failing, you’re not pushing yourlimits, and if you’re not pushing your limits, you’re not maximizing yourpotential. Though this process of pushing your limits, of sometimes failing andsometimes breaking through—and deriving benefits from both your failures andyour successes—is not for everyone, if it is for you, it can be so thrillingthat it becomes addictive. Life will inevitably bring you such moments, andit’ll be up to you to decide whether you want to go back for more.
大多数人处于痛苦时会相当煎熬而痛苦过去他们就会忘记伤痛，所以他们会错过那些能提供反馈的反应。如果你处于痛苦之中却干之若诒，恭喜你。但如果你还能在痛苦过后记住反馈，同样有价值。（我创建了一套痛苦按钮app帮助大家实现，我在附录里描述过）
挑战会考验你同时强化你。如果你没有被打倒，你不会扩展你的极限，如果没有扩展极限，你没有最大化你的潜力。尽管这个过程-可能扩展你的极限，有时会失败，有时成功—而你会从失败和成功中汲取益处—当然不是所有人都这样，如果你获益，你可能因为刺激而上瘾。生活总会给你这样的机会，轮到你决定是否想要更多。
If you choose to pushthrough this often painful process of personal evolution, you will naturally“ascend” to higher and higher levels. As you climb above the blizzard of thingsthat surrounds you, you will realize that they seem bigger than they really arewhen you are seeing them up close; that most things in life are just “anotherone of those.” The higher you ascend, the more effective you become at workingwith reality to shape outcomes toward your goals. What once seemed impossiblycomplex becomes simple.
如果你选择通过痛苦常伴的个人进化之旅，你自然会提升到一个更高的水平。当你挣脱身周的事物，你会发现当初你仰望的时候会放大事物的本来面目；而生活中大多数事情都是这样的。你等级越高，你会发现距离目标的工作愈加高效。曾经复杂的变得简单。
a. Go to the pain rather than avoid it. If you don’t let up onyourself and instead become comfortable always operating with some level ofpain, you will evolve at a faster pace. That’s just the way it is.
Every time you confrontsomething painful, you are at a potentially importantjuncturein your life—you have the opportunity to choose healthy and painful truthor unhealthy but comfortable delusion. The irony is that if you choose thehealthy route, the pain will soon turn into pleasure. The pain is the signal!Like switching from not exercising to exercising, developing the habit ofembracing the pain and learning from it will “get you to the other side.”
[if !supportLists]a. [endif]直面痛苦而不是回避。如果你坚持不妥协，干之若诒，你会快速进化。这就是进化的方式。
每一次面对痛苦，实际就是在生命中给予的潜在的重要时刻—你可以选择健康地，痛苦的真相或者不健康的但虚假的舒适区。讽刺的是如果你选择正确路，痛苦会很快变成快乐。痛苦是一种信号！像是从不行动到行动，形成拥抱痛苦的习惯，客服困难就会达到彼岸。
By “getting to the otherside,” I mean that you will become hooked on:
• Identifying,accepting, and learning how to deal with your weaknesses,
• Preferringthat the people around you be honest with you rather than keep their negativethoughts about you to themselves, and
• Beingyourself rather than having to pretend to be strong where you are weak.
到达彼岸，我的意思是你会转变为：
l 识别，接受，学会和自己的弱点相处
l 去伪存真，渴望真诚
做真实的自己而不是虚假的强大
b. Embrace tough love.In my ownlife, what I want to give to people, most importantly to people I love, is thepower to deal with reality to get what they want. In pursuit of my goal to givethem strength, I will often deny them what they “want” because that will givethem the opportunity to struggle so that they can develop the strength to getwhat they want on their own. This can be difficult for people emotionally, evenif they understand intellectually that having difficulties is the exercise theyneed to grow strong and that just giving them what they want will weaken themand ultimately lead to them needing more help.23
拥抱苦恋。我的一生中，我想给予大家的，给予我最爱的人，是与真实世界相处的能力。而在追求的过程中，我常会否掉他们想要的，因为那样会给予人们机会去奋斗以便能自生出力量从而得到他们想要的。当然对于情绪化的人来说很困难，即使他们能理解困难实际是变大变强的机会，而仅仅给予实际会弱化自身，最终导致需求更多。
Of course most peoplewould prefer not to have weaknesses. Our upbringings and our experiences in theworld have conditioned us to be embarrassed by our weaknesses and hide them.But people are happiest when they can be themselves. If you can be open withyour weaknesses it will make you freer and will help you deal with them better.I urge you to not be embarrassed about your problems, recognizing that everyonehas them. Bringing them to the surface will help you break your bad habits anddevelop good ones, and you will acquire real strengths and justifiableoptimism.
当然大多数人倾向于没有弱点。我们在这个世界的体验和更新告诉我们应该拥抱缺点，然后隐藏缺点。但成为自己才是最快乐的，如果你能正视自己的缺点，你会感觉更自在，实际也能让你们相处的更融洽。我恳请你不要隐藏自身问题，其实每个人都有问题。把问题摆到台面上可能会助你打破以往的旧习，培养好的，你会获得真正的力量和正确的乐观主义。
This evolutionaryprocess of productive adaptation and ascent—the process of seeking, obtaining,and pursuing more and more ambitious goals—does not just pertain to howindividuals and society move forward. It is equally relevant when dealing withsetbacks, which are inevitable. At some point in your life you will crash in abig way. You might fail at your job or with your family, lose a loved one,suffer a serious accident or illness, or discover the life you imagined is outof reach forever. There are a whole host of ways that something will get you.At such times, you will be in pain and might think that you don’t have thestrength to go on. You almost always do, however; your ultimate success willdepend on you realizing that fact, even though it might not seem that way atthe moment.
This is why many peoplewho have endured setbacks that seemed devastating at the time ended up as happyas (or even happier than) they originally were after they successfully adaptedto them. The quality of your life will depend on the choices you make at thosepainful moments. The faster one appropriately adapts, the better.24No matter what you want out of life, your ability to adapt and move quickly andefficiently through the process of personal evolution will determine yoursuccess and your happiness. If you do it well, you can change yourpsychological reaction to it so that what was painful can become something youcrave.
建设性的接纳和提升自己的革命性的过程-尝试的过程，获得，追求越来越多的不切实际的目标-不仅仅与个人和社会如何往前发展相关。几乎与如何处理挫折等同，而这是不可避免的。生活中有些点可能会搞砸，在工作上失败或家庭中挫折，失去所爱，遭遇意外或病痛，发现你想象的生活遥不可及。总有一些事情让你挫折失败，这时候，你处于痛苦中可能会想你没有继续前进的力量。每次差不多都是这样的，但是；最终的成功必须依靠你意识到的实际情况，尽管有时看起来不像那么回事。
这就是为什么许多人能忍受那些看起来似乎是毁灭性的挫折，而在缺点被接收后他们原本的样子就会显现出来。你生活的质量依赖于你在那些痛苦时刻的选择。越快做出适当的选择越好。不论你的要求多么无理，你适应和快速行动的能力，高效的个人进化过程决定你的成果和快乐。如果你做得好，你能改变心理反应，以至于痛苦会成为你渴望的东西。
总结：
1、直面痛苦
2、珍惜痛苦给予的机会和挑战
3、适应痛苦并甘之如殆
4、痛苦是强大的必由之路
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