2019年2月26日写作反馈直播复盘

自现象级英语

Vary your versions and exert yourself. Use well what we have learned with Phenomenal English. 

IELTS考题题型：Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

sports facilities 不是faculties Justin's structure

Structure：P1  background without your opinion ;P2  View A ; P3 View B ;P4 Your view

Does and don'ts

Do: use respective one or two paragraphs to elaborate on View A and View B; Conlude the essay with your view

Don't: state your opinion in the first paragraph(save it for the last)

改写句1： There are, however, some disadvantages.

Peer learning

1. 有boast, is home to

2. 负面意义的词作为主语，用persist ; 中性的词做主语，用remain

3. There is no shortage of disadvantages.

4. be worth reading/ seeing/noting

My version

Approach: Give play to modules of Phenomal English.

Justin's version

Approach: Efforts should be made to spice up the original version, and to convey its subtle and precise meaning.

1. There are inevitable/ unavoidable/noteworthy drawbacks/ disadvantages.

2. surprisingly/ unfortunately/ intriguingly

interesting pairs

改写句2：However, these issues can be addressed strategically within the policy adopted.

Various touches

1. policy 政策，practice做法

strategic=strategical
Justin's version

Approach: 守破离。Innovation is encouraged. Push yourself mentally. Try out context-based variations.

1. 双重否定，强调，暗示

You are not unwelcome here. 强调真心诚意 referring to the unpleasant incident/ experience

改写句3：Advocates of this believe that today's sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either the work or our leisure time.

表示因果关系的mean,due to, because of, make,

Samples Examples

Advocates of this，不用in this；stressful替换为intense

More to read

同义替换：proponents, advocates, supporters

注意：这里part 是不可数名词，例如：part of the problem is..., part of the story

间接性和紧凑型 boil down to

References

Fantastic vocabulary. Readability does suffer, though.

1. insulate 隔绝声音，液体和固体，此处用的不当，可以换为separate

My humble contribution
My poor performance：上下文衔接不佳，啰嗦
Justin's version
Justin's version

Personal review

The policy of rewriting boils down to three principles, namely 守破离. In my opinion, knowing the rules and knowing the ropes are fundamental. Long-established and proven expertise does help.

My current stumble blocks are the gap between knowing about something and knowing something inside out. In other words, words and expressions which I use with ease might be a veiled beauty through my lens without my acknowledgement. I am either way off or on the way. The destination is in view but out of reach. The solution: hang on in there until I get the hang of it.

We'll persevere.