爱的话语‖一行禅师

爱的话语

带有慈悲心的倾听和充满爱的话语是一扇门，可以帮助我们走出最困难的处境。一旦我们带着同情倾听，我们就可以用爱的言语来恢复沟通和理解。我们知道什么该说，什么不该说，这样我们就不会让情况变得更糟。使用充满爱的话语是指以这样一种方式说话，激发对方的喜悦、希望和信心。我们的话语浇灌着我们内心和他人内心有益的种子。没有愤怒、评判或指责。在我们表达内心所想之前，我们会练习让自己冷静下来，我们会仔细选择我们的话，这样对方就能接受我们说的话，也能更好地理解我们。我们每次说话都可以练习爱的话语。通常我们的愤怒和恼怒会阻止我们说出爱的话语，然而我们知道如果我们带着愤怒的能量说话，它会伤害我们的关系。爱的话语是建立一种关系或一个社区的基本技能，这个社区是所有人的安全和治愈的避难所。

LOVING SPEECH

Compassionate listening and loving speech are doors that can help us out of even the most difficult situations. Once we have listened with compassion, we can use loving speech to restore communication and understanding. We will know what to say and what not to say so we don’t make the situation worse. To use loving speech means to speak in such a way that inspires joy, hope, and confidence in the other person. Our words water the wholesome seeds in us and in the other person. There is no anger, judgment, or blaming. We practice to calm ourselves before we express what is in our heart, and we choose our words carefully so the other person can accept what we say and can understand us better. We can practice loving speech every time we speak. Often our anger and irritation prevent us from being able to use loving speech, yet we know that if we speak with the energy of anger it will harm our relationship. Loving speech is an essential skill in building a relationship or a community that is a safe and healing refuge for all.