Quora 问答一则

在 Quora 上读到这样一个问题，

What are the top 10 things that we should be informed about in life?

人生中应该知道的十件事是什么？

在如此一个心灵鸡汤向的问题下，排名第一的回答深深触动了我，所以摘录并极其不严密的翻译如下：

1. Realize that nobody cares, and if they do, you shouldn't care that they care. Got a new car? Nobody cares. You'll get some gawkers for a couple of weeks—they don't care. They're curious. Three weeks in it'll be just another shiny blob among all the thousands of others crawling down the freeway and sitting in garages and driveways up and down your street. People will care about your car just as much as you care about all of those. Got a new gewgaw? New wardrobe? Went to a swanky restaurant? Exotic vacation? Nobody cares. Don't base your happiness on people caring, because they won't. And if they do, they either want your stuff or hate you for it.

2. Some rulebreakers will break rule number one. Occasionally, people in your life will defy the odds and actually care about you. Still not your stuff, sorry. But if they value you, they'll value that you value it, and they'll listen. When you talk about all of those things that nobody else cares about, they will look into your eyes and consume your words, and in that moment you will know that every part of them is there with you.

3. Spend your life with rulebreakers. Marry them. Befriend them. Work with them. Spend weekends with them. No matter how much power you become possessed of, you'll never be able to make someone care—so gather close the caring.

4. Money is cheap. I mean, there's a lot of it—trillions upon trillions of dollars floating around the world, largely made up of cash whose value is made up and ascribed to it, anyway. Don't engineer your life around getting a slightly less tiny portion of this pile, and make your spirit of generosity reflect this principle. I knew a man who became driven by the desire to amass six figures in savings, so he worked and scrimped and sacrificed to get there. And he did... right before he died of cancer. I'm sure his wife's new husband appreciated his diligence.

5. Money is expensive. I mean, it's difficult to get your hands on sometimes—and you never know when someone's going to pull the floorboards out from under you—so don't be stupid with it. Avoid debt on depreciating assets, and never incur debt in order to assuage your vanity (see rule number one). Debt has become normative, but don't blithely accept it as a rite of passage into adulthood—debt represents imbalance and, in some sense, often a resignation of control. Student loan debt isn't always avoidable, but it isn't a given—my wife and I completed a combined ten years of college with zero debt between us. If you can't avoid it, though, make sure that your degree is an investment rather than a liability—I mourn a bit for all of the people going tens of thousands of dollars in debt in pursuit of vague liberal arts degrees with no idea of what they want out of life. If you're just dropping tuition dollars for lack of a better idea at the moment, just withdraw and go wander around Europe for a few weeks—I guarantee you'll spend less and learn more in the process.

6. Learn the ancient art of rhetoric. The elements of rhetoric, in all of their forms, are what make the world go around—because they are what prompt the decisions people make. If you develop an understanding of how they work, while everyone else is frightened by flames and booming voices, you will be able to see behind veils of communication and see what levers little men are pulling. Not only will you develop immunity from all manner of commercials, marketing, hucksters and salesmen, to the beautiful speeches of liars and thieves, you'll also find yourself able to craft your speech in ways that influence people. When you know how to speak in order to change someone's mind, to instill confidence in someone, to quiet the fears of a child, then you will know this power firsthand. However, bear in mind as you use it that your opponent in any debate is not the other person, but ignorance.

7. You are responsible to everyone, but you're responsible for yourself. I believe we're responsible to everyone for something, even if it's something as basic as an affirmation of their humanity. However, it should most often go far beyond that and manifest itself in service to others, to being a voice for the voiceless. If you're reading this, there are those around you who toil under burdens larger than yours, who stand in need of touch and respect and chances. Conversely, though, you're responsible for yourself. Nobody else is going to find success for you, and nobody else is going to instill happiness into you from the outside. That's on you.

8. Learn to see reality in terms of systems. When you understand the world around you as a massive web of interconnected, largely interdependent systems, things get much less mystifying—and the less we either ascribe to magic or allow to exist behind a fog, the less susceptible we'll be to all manner of being taken advantage of. However:

9. Account for the threat of black swan events. Sometimes chaos consumes the most meticulous of plans, and if you live life with no margins in a financial, emotional, or any other sense, you will be subject to its whims. Take risks, but backstop them with something—I strongly suspect these people who say having a Plan B is a sign of weak commitment aren't living hand to mouth. Do what you need to in order to keep your footing.

10. You both need and don't need other people. You need others in a sense that you need to be part of a community—there's a reason we reflexively pity hermits. Regardless of your theory of anthropogenesis, it's hard to deny that we are built for community, and that 'we' is always more than 'me.' However, you don't need another person in order for your life to have meaning—this idea that Disney has shoved through our eyeballs, that there's someone out there for all of us if we'll just believe hard enough and never stop searching, is hokum... because of arithmetic, if nothing else. Establish your own life—then, if there's a particular person that you can't help but integrate, believe me, you'll know.

11. Always give more than is required of you.

12. 认识到没人在意你，而且，即使有人在意你，也不要在意他们（是否）在意你。你买了一辆新车？没人在意。接下来几周你会发现有人围观——（但）他们并不在意，他们只是好奇。三个礼拜以后，它就像一滴闪亮的小水滴，淹没在数以万计的车辆组成的洪流里，从公路上缓慢的爬行到车道上，再一屁股坐回车库里，如此周而复始。 别人不在意你的车，正如你不在意上面那些车一样。你买了新的小玩意儿？新的衣柜？去了一家奢华的餐馆？刚完成一次神奇的旅行？没人在意。不要把你的快乐建立在别人的关注上，因为他们不会关注你。如果他们真的关注了，他们要么是想要你的东西，要么就是因此讨厌你。

13. 有些人会打破上一条规则。偶然的，一些你生命里的人会打破概率，真正的在乎你。抱歉，但仍然与你无关。但如果有人真的重视你，他们会真的重视和你的关系，而且他们会（愿意）听你诉说。当你向他们讲述所有那些别人不在乎的你的事情的时候，他们会看着你的眼睛，认真理解你的话语，在那个时刻，你知道他们全身心的与你在一起。

14. 跟上一条提到的那些人度过你的人生。与他们结婚；与他们做朋友，做同事，一起过周末。无论你拥有多少权力，你都无法强迫别人在乎你——所以，多和那些在乎你的人聚在一起。

15. 钱不值钱。我是说，世界上有很多的钱——成百亿上千亿的钱漂浮在世界各处，其中一大部分是钞票，钞票的价值既体现了钱的价值，又（奇妙的）支撑了钱的价值。不要将你的人生花在努力钻营以获得那厚厚的钱垛里的薄薄的一份上面，而应以慷慨的精神来反映（钱不值钱）这一准则。我认识一个人，他一辈子只想让他的存款达到六位数，为此他努力工作，省吃俭用，牺牲了很多。最终他做到了…就在他死于癌症之前。我相信他妻子的新任老公定会非常感激他的勤奋。

16. 钱很昂贵。我是说，有时候要学会一件事情很困难——而你并不知道什么时候就会被人拆台——所以不要犯傻。尽力避免举债去买贬值的资产，更不要为了虚荣去增加负债（参见第一条）。当今人们对债务已经习以为常，但不代表可以安心的认为债务是成年人的标志——债务意味着失衡，某种意义上，更意味着受控。学生贷款有时难以避免，但不是一定的——我妻子和我彼此扶持，一共上了十年的大学，没有未借一分钱。但如果你必须借款读书，请确保你的学位是一笔投资而不是负债——许多人花几万美元读那些模糊不清的文学或艺术学位，但却不知道自己想要得到什么，我对此感到有一点痛心。如果你仅仅因为现在没什么更好的想法就去花钱上学，倒不如拿这笔钱去欧洲玩几个礼拜——我担保你在这一过程中，可以花的更少，却学的更多。

17. 学习古老的修辞艺术。修辞学的基本元素，归根到底，正是驱使世界转动的东西——也是诱使人们做决定的原因。如果你能理解修辞是如何发挥作用的，当其他所有人在火焰和巨响前发抖的时候，你将可以透过言辞的掩饰，看到那些小人儿们如何在拉动操纵杆。这不仅能让你对各式各样的广告，营销，推销员和零售商免疫，免遭窃贼和骗子的花言巧语的欺骗，你还将发现你拥有了通过言语影响他人的能力。当你知道如何说服人们改变想法，如何将信心灌注到他人心中，如何安抚孩子的恐惧，你就会亲身体会到这种力量。然而，一定要牢记，在任何一场辩论中，你的对手不是他人，而是无知。

18. 要对他人怀有责任感，但首要的是要对自己负责。**我相信我们某种程度上，对每个人都负有责任，最起码也须承认他人作为人的权利。然而，这应引申到更深的地方，体现在服务大众，为沉默者代言这样的信条里。如果你正在读这篇文章，在你周围，有许多人担负着比你更为沉重的负担苦挨，亟需关注，尊重和机会。尽管如此，你仍应首先对自己负责。没人会替你找到成功之道，也没人会把快乐植入你的心里。这些只能指望你自己。

19. 学会系统性的看待现实。当你把世界理解为一张具有内在联系的，由许多互相依存的系统所组成的巨大的网络的时候，事物就变得不再那么神秘了——我们也更少将事物归因于魔力，或听任其躲在迷雾之中，我们也不再轻信，因此也更难以上当。然而，

20. 为黑天鹅事件留出余地。混乱有时会毁掉最精密的计划，如果你在财务上，情感上，或其他任何方面都不留有余地的话，你就会认识到它的魔力。敢于冒险，但也记得止损——那些声称留有退路就是不敢全情投入的人，我认为他们一定过着朝不保夕的生活。一定要留得青山在，才能不怕没柴烧。

21. 你既需要，也不需要他人。你需要他人，是指你必须作为社会的一份子生活——我们条件反射般的同情那些遁世的人，是有原因的。无论你对人类起源持有何种观点，都难以否认，我们天性就是社会动物，“我们”总是比“我”意味着更多。然而，你不需要他人来使你的生命具有意义——迪斯尼全力向我们灌输的那种，总有一个你的真命天子/天女在那里等着你，你只需全心相信并永不停止的去找寻即可的想法，不过是电影的噱头…为了数字而已，如果没有其他原因的话。建立你自己的生活——然后，如果真有某个特别的人，你除了与他/她结合，别无他法的话，相信我，你会遇到的。

22. 比起所要求的部分，给予更多。