Fortunately, there is a very easy trick to make sure this doesn’t happen as often: keeping track of the phrases you hear that turn people off and being more conscious not to say them yourself.
In addition to “Don’t get too excited,” below are 3 more phrases that people with high social awareness avoid saying — capped off with suggestions of what they choose to say instead.
1. “I told you so.”
People don’t like to be reminded when they made a bad decision. And they certainly don’t like to be reminded they could have avoided a massive headache if they had only listened to you.
You may be able to get away with telling someone they were wrong and you were right when you are with your closest friends. But tread carefully, and make sure their smile isn’t hiding their embarrassment.
2. “I know how you feel.”
I asked my best friend how he was holding up shortly after his mother passed away. He replied that he’d feel a lot of better if people stopped telling him they know how he feels.
This is another extreme example, but it serves as a good reminder that we all experience things differently. My friend was close to his mom. The doctors gave her a few hours to live and my friend ended up holding her hand for a month before she passed away. As you can imagine, this took a major toll on his emotional well-being. People telling him they know how he feels, though not intentional, ended up pissing him off.
3. “Good luck with that.”
Recently, I applied for a bucket-list job. When I told someone in my network they replied in a snarky tone, “Good luck with that.” Saying this was a blow to my confidence. They might as well have said what they really wanted to say, “You’re nuts Mike, you can’t do that.” I left the conversation questioning not only my decision to apply but also my abilities.
When someone shares their hopes with you, they aren’t necessarily looking for your approval. But they are looking for your support.
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