Tell Me What You Want!
Formulating a request in action language means that we say what it is we want as opposed to what we don't want.
在行动语言中形成一个明确的请求意味着我们说我们想要什么不想要什么。
"Often when we think of making a request, it stems first from noticing that somebody is doing something that we don't want," says Ike Lasater, author of Words That Work In Business. For example, you and your co-worker get in an argument, and your coworker is speaking louder than you would like.
我们常常以为我们做出了一个请求，直到我们注意到别人正在做我们不需要的事情。《在职场更有效率的沟通》的作者艾克·拉塞特说。
例如，你和你的同事开始一个争论，你的同事说得很比你希望的更大声。
Your first response might be, "Would you please stop yelling?" Again, this is an example of what you don't want -- yelling.
你的第一反应可能是说：“你能不能不要叫唤？”然后，这是一个你不想要什么的例子——叫唤。
In this case, what is it that you do want? Maybe your request is "Would you be willing to speak at a volume level that matches what I'm using right now?" or "Would you be willing to be silent for the next minute?"
在这个例子中，什么是你想要的？可能你的请求是“能不能请你把说话的音量放小一点，和我现在的音量一致就行？”或者“下一分钟你能不能安静一下？”
If you notice that your request is stated in terms of what you do not want, take a minute to translate it into what you do want.
一旦你注意到你的请求是在说你不想要什么，花一分钟去转换成你想要什么。
Mindful Practice for the Week
本周的正念练习
This week, notice the language of a request you make of a colleague. Is your language focused on what you do not want instead of what you do want? How might you rephrase your request in action language?
本周请留意你给同事发出的请求语言。你的语言是集中在你不想要什么还是用你需要什么来替代？怎么样用你的行动语言来重新表述你的请求？
英文来自：Workplace Communication NVC Tip Series
NonviolentCommunication.com
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