Sometimes i left this platform, but still reserve it not delete, because i know i will come back one day.
Now i come back and plan to update article with English everyday. Not sure which day i will break my word for forgotten or idleness.
Today is the first day, maybe the easiest day or the most difficult day. I can remember the period that Jianshu help me clam down and dreaw big. No matter if dream will come true, owning the imagination is enough lucky for me.
In the time that left here, i have tried a lot and also felt much anxious and failed. That made me slept worse, worry future a lot, care about others' opinion on me and can't enjoy current life.
My new job gave me more salary and benefits, and also unfamiliar and mistrustful colleague relationship.
It seems that i came to this world at first time, i am afraid to lose this new job when the economic situation is going down. I have been always at the stage of regrets and fears.
What i regret is why i choose to buy so expensive house with a lot of loan.
What i fear is that if i or my husband lose our current job, how should we face with the delimma of maybe lose our house that has spent a lot of efforts.
不轻不重的笔，
熟悉的九宫格，
写下的恐惧与呐喊，
恐惧也愈来愈淡，
沉默的呐喊，实则铿锵有力，
无奈笔力不足，看上去还不及蚊子嗡嗡响。
蹉兮哀哉，问谁借阅苍穹书卷之隙。
人到中年，
儿女的教育之事，
父母的健康之事，
工作的pua之事，
经济的萎靡之事。
真正做到事事关心，唯独遗漏自己心爱之事。
唉，一句爱自己，谈何容易？
一日之时就在这，多数诚惶诚恐。
快乐被束之高阁，焦虑大行其道，
事事关心，却事事糟糕。
人法地，地法天，天法道，道法自然，
老话虽有好些已不适用，但这句船到桥头自然直仍是此刻的解药。
了不起就丢工作，重新再找。
了不起就找不到理想的，降低要求再找。
了不起找到了供不起那座大山，卖了又何妨。
了不起离开魔都又如何，一家人在一起积极向上比什么精英教育都好！
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