今天上了一天课，差点忘了更新了。害！
秃头女孩来更新了
来咯，这里是分享幽默英语的第三天，也是最后一天啦，以后写点啥呢，大家有什么建议吗?＾０＾~
感谢支持哦
1
“How did you make your neighbor keep his hens in his own yard?”
“One night Ihid half-dozen eggs under a bush in my garden，and next day I let him seeme gather them．Iwasn’t bothered after that．”
“你是如何让邻居把他的母鸡关在自家院子的?”
“一天夜里，我在花园的一簇灌木丛下藏了6只鸡蛋。第二天，我让他看到我把那些鸡蛋收了起来。从那以后，我就没被打搅过。”
哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈嗝
2
Two lawyerswent into a restaurant and ordered two glasses of drink．Then they brought out sandwiches from their briefcases and began to eat．The ownermarched over and told them，“You can’t eat your own sandwiches here!”
The two lawyers looked at each other，shrugged and exchanged their sandwiches．
两名律师走进一家饭店，要了两杯饮料，从公文包里拿出三明治，开始吃了起来。饭店老板大步走过来，告诉他们说:“你们不能在这里吃自己的三明治!”
两名律师相互看了一眼，耸了耸肩，然后交换了各自的三明治。
皇阿玛也懵了
3
Irving was boasting to a fellow fisherman about a 20-pound salmon he had caught．
“Twenty pounds，huh?”remarked the other guy，with skepticism．“Were there any witnesses?”
“Of course，”said Irving．“Otherwise it would have weighed 30 pounds．”
欧文在向一个渔夫吹嘘他捕的一条20磅的鲑鱼。
“20磅，对吧?”另一个人带着怀疑的神情问道。“有什么证人吗?”
“当然有了，”欧文说。“不然就会有30磅呢。”
呵
4
A salesman was chatting with the owner of amotel．“Business is terrible，”said themotel owner．“Really bad．”
“But every time I drive by here you have the‘no vacancy’sign on．”said the salesman．
“That’s true，”replied the motel owner．“But I used to turn away 30 to 35 people a night．Now，Ionly turn away 10 to 15．”
一个推销员正在和汽车旅馆主人闲聊。“生意太糟了，”旅馆老板说。“真是太糟了。”
“但每次我开车经过这里，你都挂上了‘客满’的牌子，”推销员说。
“没错。”旅馆老板答道。“但过去我一夜就谢绝30至35人。如今，我只能谢绝10至15人。”
呃
5
“How did you plan your future?”
“Ibecame the partner of a richman．He had themoney and I had the experience．”
“How did that help?”
“Now he has the experience and Ihave themoney．”
“你是如何计划未来的?”
“我成为一个富人的合伙人。他有钱，我有经验。”
“那如何发挥作用?”
“现在他有经验，我有钱。”
哈哈哈
6
Every time the man next door headed toward Robinson’s house，Robinson knew he was coming to borrow something．“He won’t get away with it this time，”muttered Robinson to hiswife．
“Er，I wonder if you’d be using your power-saw thismorning，”the neighbor began．
“Gee，I’m terribly sorry，”said Robinson with a smug look，“but the fact of thematter is，I’ll be using it all day．”
“In that case，”said the neighbor．“you won’t be using your golf clubs，mind if Iborrow them?”
罗宾逊知道，每次隔壁的男人到自己家来，都要借东西。“这次说什么也不能借给他。”罗宾逊低声对妻子说。
“呃，你今天早上用不用电锯?”邻居问。
“呀，真抱歉，”罗宾逊洋洋得意地说，“事实上，我一天都要用它。”
“这样的话，”邻居说。“你不用高尔夫球杆喽，我借用一下行吗?”
哼哼哼
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