where would I be without my book

Where would I be without my books? I can’t really tell. Maybe heaven, maybe hell.

where would I be without my books 📚

This is what I was thinking after finished reading my last book of the New Year’s Resolution of 2019. And wanna quote some famous lines from Dickens’ book to get my story started--- “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of light, it was the season of darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way...”

Life is really a full circle, don’t you think? At some point, in my point of view, these lines perfectly reflect the society that I’m living in. Our society is peaceful, our nation is powerful, our living standard is remarkable, but I just can’t tell weather we deserve this best of the best situation. At least I don’t.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. It is a time that encourages you to be heard and judges you with your words in return. It is a time that reading is something that you should be ashamed of and messing with your smart phone is something you should be “proud of.” It is a time that many people are chasing after countless kinds of objects and lost in finding themselves. If you can’t relate, well, congratulations then...This is at least what is happening around me.

where would I be without my books 📚

Books or different cultures, well, are indeed life changing. Let me tell you this, I’ve been a mess. I get depression, I’m anti-social, I hate myself a lot and worst of all, I always try to end myself. I always think that it was a big mistake made by my mom bringing me to this goddamn world. However, books can bring me tons of different worlds to explore or let’s say hide. Just like in The Little Prince, you may dive into a world where people don’t get you at all, where people just push you to grow up. But please remember that all grown-ups were children once. You may dive into a world that full of magic where everything is full of magic and you could be right next to Harry Potter, or Ron or Hermione flying on your Nimbus 2000 and believe that everyone deserves to have a long-lasting friendship like them. You may dive into a world where you could discuss life and death, love and regret on tuesdays with Morrie, and started to realize that it is better to make meaning than to make money.

where would I be without my books 📚

The reading list goes on. I learned from the Hiding Place that if people can be taught to hate, they can be taught to love too. I learned from Child of the Dark that in death everyone is poor. I learned from Wonder that when given the choice between being right or being kind, choose kind! And What I wish I knew when I was 20 was I could’ve realized that I am limited only by my energy and imagination... But better late than never, everyone needs time to grow up, everyone needs time to get used to himself and more than that, everyone needs time to realize his desire and the reason why the hell he was born.

where would I be without my books 📚

There’s this story haunted me for so long---There was once a man named Goldberg who wanted nothing more than to be rich. So each day he went the synagogue and prayed to God to win the lottery. This went on for days, weeks, and years, but Goldberg never won. Eventually, Goldberg was at his wit’s end. Praying to God, he said, “You have really let me down.” Suddenly the silence was broken and God responded in a booming voice, “Goldberg, you’ve got to help me out here. You could at least buy a ticket!” The world is divided into people who wait for others to give them permission to do the things they want to do and people who grant themselves permission. Then I began to aware that if I wanna create something cool or meaningful, I gotta ask for forgiveness, rather than permission. At the end of the day, you will be glad that you break all those rules which were meant to be broken.

where would I be without my books 📚

When you spend your whole life living in Holes, the only way you can go is up. You gotta get your shit together and live your own life. I mean you gotta live for yourself. I’ve been wishing I was dead for the last twenty years. It’s just so not fair that there is always someone is being laughed at and at the same time there’s always someone laughing. But the world is just not fair. It was, it is and it will always be unfair.

where would I be without my books 📚

Just like Sam (Before I Fall) said, “Somethings are better left burried and forgotten.” It is a truly blessing that one’s life is actually lies in his own hands, one has the choice to decide his own life. And now if you ask me where would I be without my books? I would say I’m in a very good place. I know it sounds scary if you translate it directly into Chinese, I mean my mood must be in a very good place if I’m not with my books, haha, cause I read books to cheer myself up, I read books to distract myself, and I read books to keep myself away from those nasty people for some time. But right now, at this very moment, I’m at the Island of the Blue Dolphins watching dolphins play around happily in the water and living in my own world imagining a world without me... 

where would I be without my books 📚

I wonder where would you be with your books?