今天是大师游戏第102天，感谢你常来读我写的文字，感谢你对我的喜欢，我要谢谢你，因为有你，爱常在心底，送给你小心心
送你花一朵～
今天继续读Treya的故事，Treya的治疗效果并不是特别理想，在Treya的生命背景里又多了一个期限，死亡的期限。
I was practicing giving away the star, and I noticed that I
always feel that when I'm being good
to myself it means not being nice to
other people. The last bit of wine
routine if I'm being nice to myself I
give the last bit of wine to me and
then someone else can't have it.
Treya一直有一个困惑，好像对自己好与对别人好是冲突的，举个例子，当餐桌上只剩一块蛋糕的时候，如果自己吃了这块蛋糕，别人就吃不到了。。。
I was feeling conflicted about that, and suddenly the "Who am I?" question popped up. And I began to realize that the distinction between being nice to others and being nice to myself, the conflict that I saw there, wasn't really there.
但是当Treya开始思考“我是谁”的时候，自己和他人的界限不是那么清晰了，对自己好与对他人好的冲突不是那么明显了。
And that if I work with the "Who am I?" inquiry enough, the boundaries, the distinctions, between me and others begin to fade, so that it's not a question of either/or, being nice to myself or being nice to someone else. The more those boundaries fade, then the more an action that I always construed as being nice to
someone else is something I want to do for myself. I enjoy giving someone else the last bit of wine. Or all of it for that matter!
而且当Treya充分地思考了“我是谁”的问题之后，爱自己和爱他人的冲突就彻底消失了。
我突然想到一句歌词：爱你就等于爱自己。
So how do I prepare myself inwardly for terrible news, which can come at any moment, while not undermining my life force, my "will to live"? How do I cultivate
acceptance while also fighting for my
life? I don't really know. I'm not even sure it's a valid question; there may be no opposition between the two, fundamentally. I've come to feel that perhaps the fact that sometimes my mood is more predominantly one of acceptance and at others more of a fighting attitude is the way life is, alternating between negative and
positive nodes, like the necessary alternation in life between day and night, action and contemplation. Perhaps I need to practice both, perhaps some sort of interpenetration of the two is possible. Again, the conundrum of effort without
attachment. I first went through incredible grief at the thought of Damn tomorrow!
Treya是如何准备和对待那个可怕的期限的？Treya是如何接纳死亡同时又渴望活着的？看上去冲突的两面在更加根本的层次上可能是一致的，比如生和死、白天和黑夜、快乐和痛苦、行动和思考等等。
Treya,more than ever, began to live in the present, not in the future, giving her allegiance to what is, not what might be.Friends and family often wondered, is she being unrealistic - shouldn't she be
worrying? fretting? unhappy? But the fact is, by living in the present, by refusing to live in the future, she began exactly to live consciously with death. Think about it: death, if anything, is the condition of having no future. By living in the present, as if she had no future, she was not ignoring death, she was living it.
在生命中多出了一个死亡期限后，Treya比以往的任何时候都活在当下，因为生命可能已经不存在未来了，既然没有未来，那就忽略未来，享受当下的每一刻，一刻即永恒。
And I was trying to do the same. I thought of that beautifulquote from Emerson:
These roses under my window make no reference to former roses or to better ones; they are for what they are; they exist with God today. There is no time for them. There is simply the rose; it is perfect in every moment of its existence. But man postpones or remembers; he does
not live in the present, but with reverted eye laments the past, or heedless of the riches that surround him, stands on tiptoe to foresee the future. He cannot be happy and strong until he too lives with nature in the
present, above time
就像那些美丽的玫瑰，她就她此时此刻的样子，不会和过去的玫瑰作比较，也不会期待自己将来的样子，超越时间绽放在当下的玫瑰如此美丽～
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