作文题目：

Some people think that universities should provide graduates with the knowledge and skills needed in the workplace. Others think that the true function of a university should be to give access to knowledge for its own sake, regardless of whether the course is useful to an employer.
What, in your opinion, should be the main function of a university?

第一次写

It is commonly believed that the reason for university cultivation is to get a decent job. Simultaneously, plenty of companies assert that college graduates still lack a lot of knowledge and skills required in the workplace. However, I do not agree to incorporate work skills training into the main function of undergraduate education. My views are presented as follows.

上大学时为了找好工作，university cultivation is to get a decent job, 中式表达。
工作技能培训，work skills training ，中式表达

Obviously, the importance of job technique is undeniable. Many industries are eager for the new hire to work directly without training in order to increase the efficiency of business tasks. However, job skill training should not be attached to college courses because these skills are very fragmented and unsystematic. For example, some industries ask their employees to be familiar with Excel, others may request their staff to master photoshop etc. These kinds of abilities are sporadic, unrelated. If people need some skills to finish their job, they can easily learn by themselves. The tertiary education should focus on teaching students more deeper and systematic knowledge like further mathematics, data structure and algorithm etc.

可以长短句，并行使用。不用所有信息都往后累。比如in order to 前置。

The second point is that college education has a more important mission, cultivating student's comprehensive quality. The major difference between a university graduate and vocational school graduate is that the former have more independent thinking ability, a more comprehensive understanding of the world, and more strengthened self-learning ability. That's the lessons the college professors want to impart . Specific techniques like Excel, Word would be outdated somedays, but those capabilities like understanding the algorithm and implementation behind Excel will let people who master them go further in their future career.

主题句加强， cultivating 的用法有问题
多使用并列结构，如people xxx from xxx and those from xxx
want to 表达不地道，可以替换为is supposed to
lesson 表示教训的意思，建议换成knowledge
To sum up, technique required by a company is an essential basic skill, but university students should learn more. They are expected to learn the nature behind some specific technology and develop their insight to new things in college.

修改后作文

It is commonly believed that the main purpose of getting a university degree for most students is to get a decent job. Simultaneously, plenty of companies assert that college graduates still lack a lot of knowledge and skills required in the workplace. However, I do not agree to incorporate the skills related to workplace into the main function of undergraduate education. My views are presented as follows.

Firstly, academic knowledge is a series of systematical theories that act as the foundation of future professionals. For instance, mathematics and logistics rather than Excel skills are the basics of being a qualified financial analyst; and aesthetics and creative inspiration rather than the proficiency in Photoshop are the prerequisite of becoming excellent designers. In addition, compared with practical skills which is unsystematic and sporadic, academic knowledge is systematic and complete. People could easily learn those fragmented vocational skills by themselves, but it is sophisticated for them to master systematic theoretical knowledge without a professor's guidance. Therefore, The tertiary education should focus on teaching students deeper and more systematic knowledge like further mathematics, data structure and algorithm etc.

Secondly, the more principal mission of college education is to cultivate students’ comprehensive quality, which is more conducive to their future development. The major difference between graduates from universities and those from vocational schools is that the former have more learning ability including independent thinking, problem solving and information analysis. It is the knowledge that the college professors are supposed to impart. The fact is that today’s employment environment is changing all the time, so only by enhancing all-rounded abilities can graduates cope with unexpected situations and adapt to the constantly changing society.

To sum up, technique required by a company is an essential basic skill, but university students should learn more. They are expected to learn the nature behind some specific technology and develop their insight to new things in college.

词伙积累

attempt to do sth 试图做某事
it is imperative to do 这是必要的
in spite of sth 尽管xxx In spite of the potential differences in the technology and infrastructure across stages
In addition 除此之外
Furthermore 更进一步
typically comprises xxx 典型的包含
xxx entails doing sth 什么需要xxx Data preparation entails ensuring they are available in the right format
thereafter 从那之后
xxxx, for instance, xxx. 举个例子
are suited for 是适合
my firm conviction is that 我坚信
does have much of a role to play in this. 扮演重要的角色
Therefore I have to disagree almost entirely with the given statement
to some extent, 在某种程度上
this kind but firm approach 善良且坚定的方法
entail many negative consequences unintended by sb 包含一些不好的没有被sb意识到的结果
Nor should sth be in any way adj； sth 也不应该太 adj
we would hope that xxx, and that 我希望xxx 和 xxx
more disciplined and alert 更有纪律和警觉
There is a trend that xxx are becoming increasingly interconnected. 有一个趋势，xxx正变得更加紧密
grasping the comprehensive abilities is vital to make a wiser decision 掌握综合能力对作出智慧的决定至关重要
be applied to other field 被用于其他领域
dabble in different areas 涉猎多个领域
social progression and civilization development 社会进步和文明发展
thereby liberating labors from manual work 从而把劳动力从体力劳动里解放出来
each breakthrough of science and technology will promote society into a new era 每一个科技的进步使社会进入一个新的时代
be conducive to 有利于，后面接名词
boosting the economy 发展经济
the explosion of online shopping not only helps numbers of small-scaled retailers thrive but also drives the employment rate in the express industry. 电商的兴起不仅帮助很多小零售商繁荣同时促进了快递行业的就业率
be more addicted to sth 对某物上瘾
outweigh the cost of xxx 超过了xx的成本
an uphill battle 逆风局
ultimate pursuit 终极追求
reap the maximum benefits 获得最大效益
respect the local environment 保护当地环境