Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, pacticed every day.
成功就是不断地练习基本动作。——吉米·罗恩
我是小花，一只上班喵，一株英语趴，天有点冷，人有点懒，小花在努力学英语，跟简书语言·翻译群一起。
很高兴认识你，这是我的第11篇笔记。
let's go!
写在最前面：
你知道的~本文出现的参考翻译与讲解内容均来自简书语言·翻译群内夏天主编的解析。
11月7日 练习 请将以下中文使用英文表达。
峭寒的北风将屋檐瓦角的雪屑一起卷到空中，舞过一个圈子以后都极善选择地向路人脖颈里钻。
参考译文：（源自张培基先生）
The raw wind sent the snow on the tiles along the eaves whirling in the air in tiny bits and adroitly making its way down the necks of the pedestrians by way of their collars.
解析：
1、“峭寒”的风，参考译文是使用raw wind，这个词组主要在于强调风的阴冷，例如A raw wind was blowing, and the first flurries of snow were whitening the hilltops.
夏天主编说：关于寒冷刺骨的词汇我们在《白马湖之冬》的翻译练习中已经多次学习不同词汇。比如 chill，piercing.
2、看两个词语 tile和eave，意思分别是瓦和屋檐。
3、“卷”这个动词，参考译文用了whirl这个词，其含义是to turn or spin around very quickly, or to make someone or something do this (使)急转；(使)迅速旋转。
例如：We watched the seagulls whirling and shrieking over the harbour.
夏天主编说：参考译文使用这个词能够进一步体现冷风的“峭寒”，表达原文情境。
4、“雪屑”,参考译文用了 in tiny bits，这种远比用flake要好，因为flake的含义是 a small thin piece that breaks away easily from something else 小薄片，与snow搭配是指雪花。
夏天主编说：但是文中的雪是前天下的，日常生活经验告诉我们，积雪通常都不蓬松了，而是近似黏合于一处，所以风很难起flake。
5、adroitly ，形容词形式为adroit, 含义是clever and skilful,在这里形容“极善选择”十分贴切，当然也可以用其他词，比如某些同学用的nimbly
6、一处略译。略译是“舞过一个圈子以后”，这里略译原因有二，一是大家都可以理解雪被风卷起，必有落下，二是whirl一词已经可以体现“旋舞”的含义。所以略译会更简明。
7、一处增译。增译则是“by way of their collars”这处增译更详细地描述了雪屑从衣领钻进行人脖子，而我们都知道冬天大家都是竖起或者收紧衣领，雪还能钻进去，更体现了原文的“极善选择”与译文的“adroitly”
8、pedestrian这个词，含义是someone who is walking, especially along a street or other place used by cars 行人，步行者
而某些同学用的passerby的含义是A passerby is a person who is walking past someone or something. 过路人
例如：A passerby described what he saw moments after the car bomb had exploded.
夏天主编说：所以这两个词侧重点不同，pedestrian更适合用来泛指“行人”这个群体。
群里大神的翻译：
梧桐断角老师
Chilly north wind rolled the snow on the eaves and among the tiles up into the air, whirling and delibrately blowing into passers–by's necks.（主编评：依旧非常精彩！大家可以学习一下。）
听音悦活老师
The snow on eaves and tiles was involved in sharp chill north wind and flied into the air,dancing round a circle.They were adept at making selections and fell into passersby's necks.（主编评：做的不错哈。dance一句处理的很有趣。）
麦田里的仰望者老师
Freezing wind carried the remaining snow on eaves into the air, circling and throwing it mischievously into passer-by's necks.（主编评：做的很好。throw和mischievously用的很赞。onto可以考虑换成into）
偏执狂冷奕老师
The cold north wind danced with the snow from corner of eaves.It turned around and then ran into passengers' neck actively.（主编评：做的很好）
小花：
尝试一：The chilly north wind rolled the snow chips up to the air from the corner of eaves, which always had a round dance and got into the passersby's collars intentionally.
尝试二：The snow chips on the corner of eaves, rolled up to the air by the chilly north wind, danced roundly and got to touch the necks of passersby intentionally.
（主编评：做的很好，没什么语法错误）
以上，祝双十一吃好喝好睡好~欧耶~
网友评论