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我一个中英文采俱佳的大男人,干嘛一定要煮饭?WHY MUST A

我一个中英文采俱佳的大男人,干嘛一定要煮饭?WHY MUST A

作者: 丧心病狂的小坚果儿 | 来源:发表于2018-05-07 18:58 被阅读380次

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    仅仅过了四个小时,我家燃气灶上泛着亮眼光泽的圆形按钮、噼啪作响的火焰还有那些笨钝愚鲁的锅碗瓢盆就已按捺不住寂寞,站在厨房门口仿佛都能听到它们嚣张的戾叫。

    Only four hours later, I am standing outside the kitchen as if I could hear the squeaks from the round buttons glittering on my gas stove, the spluttering fire and those awkward cookers that are overcome with the insurmountable loneliness.

    我这小暴脾气岂会忍气吞声地由着它们胡来?逢此挑衅,必会先暗骂了一声“贱骨头”,随即操刀粗略剁些葱段、姜丝,一并有力地掷入蘸着一层薄油的锅里,看着它们被逐渐升温的热油围剿得声弱势微,我穷追猛打,投入早市上买来的切成薄片的里脊肉和白菜叶,一鼓作气搅他个天翻地覆。

    As a short-tempered man, will I let them be? Facing their provocations, I abuse silently,"Son of a bitch! " Snatching up a kitchen knife, I chop the scallion and genger into slices and toss them in the wok with some oil. The squeaks recede as the heating oil surrounds them. With the pork fillet and Chinese cabbage placed, I stir-fry rapidly.

    终于,由锅中蒸跃起一层厚重丰馥的馨气,四下逃窜,像遭遇剿诛的妖精无计可施,狼狈不堪地化作一缕青烟逃之夭夭。

    Finally, from the wok floats an aromatic smell. It scurries into every corner as if a monster turned into a wisp of gas to escape from encirclement and annihilation.

    然而,魔高一尺道高一丈,它不是撞到天花板,就是碰到玻璃窗,却困兽犹斗,只能将所有能量释放出来殊死一搏。这正中我下怀,任由它去玉石俱焚,我则坐收渔利。

    However, justice far outweighs wickedness. It releases all its energy before it bumps into the ceiling and into the glass panel, which appeals right to my mind in my favor.

    image

    作为一个男人,我庆幸自己每天至少能有一次与各类食材进行这样一场“决斗”的机会。硝烟散尽之后,我会慵懒地倚着墙砖,直愣愣地盯着厨房里的一切,思忖着“一个大男人,为什么一定要煮饭”这个深刻的人生命题。

    It is fortunate for me, a man, to get at least one chance to have such a duel with those ingredients. Seeing the vanishing of the somg, I lean against the glazed brick languidly, staring at everything in the kitchen as I think over the reason why a man must cook.

    想来想去,无外乎下面这么几点。

    Followed are what I can figure out.

    首先是为了“玩儿火”。

    First of all, I cook so that I can play with fire.

    我很喜欢玩儿火,从很小的时候就喜欢。面对其他孩子发出的将各自的忍者神龟玩具放进盛满清水的盆里的邀请,我一概嗤之以鼻,随即摸起一盒火柴,像个要去浪迹天涯的剑客在冬日暖阳的光晖中投下一个孤傲的背影,远走高飞。

    I have been obsessed with playing with fire since my childhood. I used to disdain any invitations of other children to dip our Ninja Turtle toys into the water in a big basin. I fled with a box of match in my grasp, leaving them an arrogant shadow casted in the sunshine of the winter.

    距离我姥姥家约1000米的东边,有一条水沟,它的长度我不得而知。夏天雨水丰盈时,里面就会冒出一堆肥硕的鲶鱼;冬天水尽沟涸,鲶鱼也不知所踪,荒草丛生,凌乱着一路向东蔓延。

    Approximately 1,000 meters east of my grandma's house stretched a ditch whose length was unclear to me. It was filled with enough rainwater and many catfishes in summer while in winter the ditch overgrown with weeds dried up and stretched far in the east in a messy manner, the catfishes also disappearing.

    我攥住脚下的一把杂草,划燃火柴,慢慢送入草窝深处,火苗像分裂的细胞,不断在草堆中裂变,传播,“毕剥毕剥”地响着。

    I grasped a bunch of weeds under my feet and struck a match, leading the fire to the innermost part of the grass, hearing it splutter.

    我驱使着火团一路向东,让它井然有序,层挺叠进,尽量让它彰显出作为火的尊严和力量。

    The fire was driven towards the east in order, showing its dignity and power.

    火,是这个世界上最让人感觉亲切的东西之一。火越旺,我越有安全感。童年的火,驱散了我与同龄人格格不入的孤单。

    I thought of fire as the most cordial thing in the world. The flames rose higher, the more consoling the fire seemed so that my loneliness as an aloof kid was dispelled.

    成年后,玩儿火少了份童趣,我开始极为严肃地对待这件事,不像原来那样轻佻,随便地玩儿,转而认真,虔诚地玩儿。

    Having grown up, I find playing with fire is less interesting than it was when I was a kid. I begin to take it more seriously than recklessly.

    人类告别茹毛饮血的野蛮行径的开端便始于火,血腥生吃到煮熟食物再进食的转变同样始于此。每次煮饭时,我的目光总会被燃气灶上那团直径不到20公分的火焰吸引。

    The fire lifted people out of eating uncooked foods as it showed up. Every time I cook, I always focus my attention on the flare measuring less than 20 centimeters in length on the gas stove.

    与我儿时纵情驱使,可以燎原的火相比,厨房中的火已匿于管道,在释放出来的一瞬间让人恍惚有种其被“驯化”了的错觉,它的“气焰”不盛,孤立无援。

    The fire in the kitchen concealed in the tube is distinctively different from that I played with before. I am disposed to be given an illusion by its weak flare now as if it were "domesticated".

    不过,当它“舔舐”厨具、食物的那一刻,我又嗅到了它蕴藏的另一股不可忽视的能量,好像触手可及。它的热传导给了锅,锅又传导给油,油再传导给饭菜,这些伟大的传导耗时不久,却让人有了开化和文明。

    But the moment it heats up the cookers and the foods, its power that must not be overlooked is within my reach. Its heat is transmitted to wok, wok to oil, then oil to foods, which does not take long but renders people live in a cultivated way.

    image

    我的锅中是一个天地,全都仰仗火在维持,我充满敬意地把玩它,但不亵玩,调整它的大小,掌控它的势头,体验支配的乐趣。

    My wok includes another world sustained by the fire which I hold in high reverence. I can bring the fire under control so I enjoy playing with it.

    其次,我还为了听声儿。

    Secondly, listening to some sounds is another purpose for me to cook.

    我觉得,汽车的鸣笛是这个世界上最令人恶心的声音——你能从中听出人性的浮躁与自私。但在晚高峰的车流中仓皇逃出后,我迎来的是喧嚣过后的另一番声艳动人。

    I think the whistling and horn is the most disgusting sound in the world as it sends a message indicating people's impudence and selfishness. Tearing myself from the grasp of the evening peak flow ushers me in an euphonious concerto.

    用小刀削土豆皮时发出的声儿稍显缓钝,想快又担心伤到手或削掉过多的块茎,这种投鼠忌器的心态使整个过程都拖泥带水——那是一种介于沙沙和擦擦之间的怪声。

    The sound of peeling potatoes is gruff.

    拿菜刀剁鸡腿的声儿听着就干净利落,熟练的人可以让它听着有特别强的节奏感——咚咚,咔咔,骨肉分离。

    The sound of chopping chicken thighs is clear and rhythmic as the thigh is striped of the bone.

    给炉灶打火发出的声音乍一听就是一声单调的“轰”,但有经验的人可以听出细微的变化,因为接踵而来的必然有火苗摆动的呼呼声。

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    Turning on the gas stove sounds like a crash as if it were tideous but an experienced man can recognize the minor change reflected by the following swoosh uttered by the fire.

    切葱、姜、蒜还有的声音很脆,像一刀切在冷水冻成的冰上,抽刀断水,嘹嘹呖呖。

    Cutting the scallion, genger and garlic sounds as crispy as a knife cuts the ice, sounding melodious.

    将所有材料归拢能换回片刻的万籁俱寂,但只有片刻。

    Collecting the ingredients only brings silence for an instant.

    听声儿的真正乐趣由架锅点火烧油开始,锅底磕碰到燃气架迸出一声余韵悠长的“嗡”,随即由火焰舔舐锅底的闷声取代,花生油滑入锅内后只乖巧了片刻,随即开始不安分地迸溅,偶尔夹杂刺耳的“噼啪”!

    The genuine delight starts from heating the oil. The wok bumps against the gas stove to produce a long buzz, which is replaced by a dull sound of the fire heating the wok. You can then hear the cracking in the wok of the peanut oil.

    葱段、姜丝、蒜蓉溜边儿滑入锅中与热油接触的一瞬间就“哗”声一片,像两军对垒的厮杀声不绝于耳,眼看葱姜蒜将要不敌,鸡腿肉、土豆块赶来助阵,酱油、盐、砂糖、咖喱粉、鸡精等亦加入战圈,一场势均力敌的混战由此开始!

    A clash is produced by the sectioned scallion, sliced genger and minced garlic sliding into the wok. That sounds like two armies' fight. Then chicken thigh, potatoes, soy sauce, salt, sugar, curry powder and chicken essence are added, making the war start!

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    各方互不相让,声嘶力竭地呐喊,一时间,滋声四溅,锅铲铿锵相撞,叮当叮当,待杀得难解难分时一碗清水劈头盖脸地浇下,初时咝咝作响,片晌风平浪静,只剩火焰的呼啸声。

    None of the ingredients involved cower. In an instant, sizzlings and clans can be heard. A bowl of water placed renders the whole world silent.

    开大火,火焰声犹甚,锅中沸腾,咕嘟咕嘟一刻也不不间断的节奏伴随着一团团氤氲升起。换小火慢炖,汁水慢慢收干,此时锅内亦沸腾,不过沸腾得慢条斯理,徐徐不激,咕嘟,咕嘟,节奏有了间隔。

    Heating the wok over the high heat makes that boil. The ingredients bubble with a scent. Turning to the low heat with the the water reduced renders the bubbling slow.

    咖喱土豆鸡块装盘,端上厅堂,筷碗以及家人又开始蠢蠢欲动,强吞唾液的咽嗓声,夹菜时碰出的清脆声,牙齿撕咬鸡肉和土豆的满足声,品尝勺中咖喱料汁的吮吸声,疾风扫落叶般向口内扒入米饭的呜声,又汇聚成一场活色生香的盛宴。

    The chicken and potatoes in curry is dished up. When it is brought to the dinning room, we can hear that the family are convetous, they can't wait to reach their chopsticks for the dish, taste it with satisfaction, suckle the curry sauce and swallowing the rice.

    煮饭,能教会男人耐心。

    Cooking helps a man learn to be patient.

    我想,有很多人,尤其是男人,已经很久没有吃过自己下厨做出的饭菜了。

    I presume that a great number of people, man in particular, haven't cooked for a long passage of time.

    我要迅速升职,我要赶紧挣钱买房,我要在人生的道路上走得再快一些——我们男人索求的东西实在太多了,并且争分夺秒地索求,以至于大家都忘记了忍耐,抛弃了耐心,同时也抛弃了自己的身体和人生。

    I want to get promoted, earn more to afford a house rapidly and quicken my pace in my life. We are asking for too much to remeber that we are supposed to keep patient and take care of ourselves and enjoy our lives.

    重拾耐心的过程很简单,就是自己去煮饭的过程。

    The process of regaining patience is equal to that of cooking.

    煮饭是对任何人都很公平的一件事,你急不来,无论你的时间再金贵,在煮饭这件事上依旧没有捷径可循。

    That is quite fair for everyone. None may hurry since there is no short cut.

    它严丝合缝遵循着“时间守恒”的定律:洗菜,切菜,烹菜,食菜都需要定量的时间,就像演员拍戏,主演抢白,把四十集的台词在一集里面说完,那么观众会把他当成神经病。

    The proceduresincluding washing, cutting, cooking and eating proceed in strict compliance with the law of time conservation. If an actor finishes all his dialogues that should have taken 40 episodes in one, the audiences will consider him as a lunatic.

    你想省时,于是把没有清洗也没有切过的菜直接扔进锅里,那么你在吃的时候就一定得费时挑出菜里的烂泥和头发;你想省时,把四十分钟的菜用二十分钟做完,那么你吃完第一口就得再花个二十分钟去回锅;你想一口吞入所有食物,却必须付出更多时间治疗口腔烫伤。

    Throwing the ingredients into the wok without washing them forces you to spend more time picking up the hair in them while eating. Spending 20 minutes cooking a dish that needs 40 minutes adds another 20 minutes for you to double to cook it.

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    煮饭能告诉我们一些浅显但又不容易做到的道理,就是不急,不抢,不燥,还有不糊弄。

    Cooking teaches us something simple but hard to achieve. Be patient, composed and serious.

    我愿意煮饭,还因为我觉得虽然煮饭是一项重担,但绝不应该全部压在女人肩上。

    The notion that women should not bear the burden of cooking alone indulges me into cooking.

    千百年来,大多数女人一直把煮饭视作是自己应当承担的一项任务,它背后承载的是相夫教子,母慈子孝的荣耀,仿佛家里只要有她们煮饭,日子就会过得流畅一些,苦难就会少一些,然而事与愿违,生锈的炒锅换回的往往是黄脸的粉黛,无趣的生活以及丈夫的另觅新欢。

    Tens of hundreds of years see that women are entrusted with the mission of cooking and they think of that as a symbol of glory as if their cooking made their lives more smooth and less painful. But the results are against their will. The wok becomes rusty, their faces lose colors, their lives become boring and their husbands cheat on them.

    我不想让自己心爱的人因为煮饭而过早衰老,从她手中接过炒锅的一瞬间,我仿佛感觉到一项使命也移交过来,每当此时,我都深感自己是一个有用的人,能和她分担一切。

    I can't tolerate my love growing old too soon because of cooking, so I pick the wok from her and that seems the transition of a mission. Everytime that happens, I feel that I am a man of use who can share everything with her.

    我做的红烧肉、糖醋里脊、麻辣香锅

    Braised Pork with Brown Sauce, Sweet and Sour Pork and *Malaxiangguo *cooked by me

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