We tend to ignore the facts and accept and even fall in love with the idea of the people we built up in our minds, based on what we need them to be - not what they truly are. Sooner or later reality will clash with such imaginary constructs and pain is then inevitable. From people you consider working with to people you consider allowing into your life, try to stay objective and keep idealization to a minimum so that you will be able to discern their real face before it is too late. It seems hard but it is not: everyone is unintentionally helping you in this.
You see, people have an uncontainable urgency to tell you who they truly are. Every. Single. Time. Only, do not listen to their words. Words are compressed air, they mean little and are worth even less, especially to narcissists who, once they get to know you, will say what you need to hear. It is their actions you need to be paying attention to; their actions always speak the truth about what hides beneath the social mask. And they will tell you who they truly are - so believe them. Actions talk. Bullshit walks.
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