这一课，Tal继续讲self-fulfilling prophecy（自证预言），然后开始讲focus（焦点）。
1. How do we become more optimistic?
1) To take action, to put ourselves on the line. 采取行动，让自己冒险。
Hard work and coping inevitably leads to success.That success contributes to our self-efficacy, to our self-confidence. And then, that self confidence in turn motivates us to work harder. We start to believe in ourselves more.
努力和面对最终会导向成功，成功会进一步提高我们的自我效能和自信。然后，自信会激励我们更加努力，我们慢慢会更相信自己。
More discerning with praise, in the long term they are detrimental.
Whether it comes from the inside or the outside.
Do we just tell the students, you are terrific, you are wonderful, you are great, or do we like Marva Collins, make them actually work hard so that they succeed more, so that they see themselves going back to self-conception theory, see themselves working hard, see themselves putting themselves on the line, coping and failing, and getting up again.
无论是来自内在还是外在的不加批判的表扬，从长远来说都是有害的。
我们不应该告诉学生，你很棒，而应该像Marva Collins一样，让学生努力获得成功，让他们看到自己通过努力，通过冒险，面对和处理失败，然后重新站起来。
It works also in a similar way to our physical immune system.
When we get sick, when we get ill, our body send ani-bodies, and we actually become immune to whatever it is that we had. Our body become immunize through failure. Same on the psychological level, failure is underrated.
我们生病的时候，我们的身体产生抗体，我们将来会对我们曾经得过的疾病有免疫。我们的身体是通过失败来获得免疫的。在心理学层面是一样的，失败的意义常常被低估了。
One of the things that I wish for you, and I mean it genuinely, is that you fail more. And coupled with that, I hope that when you fail, you will also learn to interpret it in a different way than most of us usually interpret failure. There is no other way to success, there is no other way for growth. It’s an illusion that a life looks like this (always going up).
我真心祝福，希望你们遇到更多的失败，同时你们在失败的时候，能学习如何不像大多数人那样解读失败。成功和成长没有别的方法，幻想人生一路向上是不实际的。
A healthy life, a real life, and a happy life ultimately looks like this, spiral with ups and downs, not as a straight line.
一个健康的，真实的，幸福的人生最终是上下波动的，而不是一条直线。
When we see ourselves cope, when we see ourselves work hard, we derive conclusions about ourselves, our self-confidence goes up, our motivation goes up, our belief goes up and so on and so on, in an upward spiral of growth.
当我们看到自己努力去面对和处理困境，我们对自己得出积极的结论 ，我们的自信心增加，动力增加，这就形成了一个向上的成长螺旋。
This model also works the other way around.
同样的，如果我们不去努力面对和处理困境，就会形成相反的向下螺旋。
2) To visualize – imagining success 视觉化，想象成功
When you see something, there are certain neurons in my brain that are firing that actually take on the shape of this hand.
当我们看到一个东西的时候，我们大脑里的某些神经元会被激活，比如说当我在看自己的手，我的神经元会形成一个手的形状。
If I imagine looking at my hand, the exact same neurons are firing. In other words, my brain does not know the difference between the real thing and the imaginary thing. This explains why dreams are so vivid.
如果我想象看自己的手，同样的神经元会被激活。换句话说，我的大脑不知道真实和想象的区别。这也是为什么梦境常常非常真实。
Just like a pilot, you would hope to practice in a simulator before they take you on across the Atlantic. The mind is a simulator, this is why it works.
就像飞行员需要在飞跃大西洋之前经过模拟训练一样。大脑就是一个模拟器。
The key is to focus not just on the destination.
关键在于不仅仅关注结果。
有这样一个实验：
Students in two random groups:
Group 1: imagine themselves getting an A, and imagine it over and over again.
Group 2: imagine themselves getting an A, but also saw themselves work and persist in the library, prepare for it, and then, get to that final A.
The second group imagined both the journey and the destination was much more successful, much better results in the exam.
两组学生，一组反复想象自己得了A。另一组不仅想象自己得了A，也想象自己在图书馆努力坚持学习，最终得了A。结果第二组学生比第一组在考试中取得的成绩更好。
Another thing that we need to do when we imagine success is to make it as real as possible, by involving as many senses as we can. Why? Because the more senses we can imagine, the more our mind is fooled to believe that it is the real thing.
另外一点是在想象成功时动员尽量多的感官，因为动用越多的感官，我们的大脑就越容易被欺骗。
Finally it’s about evoking emotions, you have to evoke emotions to create motion.
最后，要刺激到情绪，情绪会带来行动。
3) Cognitive therapy 认知治疗
External event – evaluation of the event (thought) – evokes an emotion – motion
A lion is running towards me –OMG, it’s gonna eat me – fear – run away or fight the lion
外在事件——对事件的评估（想法）——引发情绪——行动
一只狮子向我跑来——狮子要吃我——恐惧——逃跑
If we want to change emotions, whether it’s of depression, whether it’s of anxiety, where we need to intervene is here – is that the level of evaluation and the level of thought.
如果我们要改变情绪，无论是抑郁还是焦虑，我们需要干预的是我们对事件的评估和思考。
Sometimes our thoughts are irrational.
What cognitive therapy does is just restore that rationality by saying “It hurts, it’s tough, but…”
Where do I distort the reality? Where do I have distortion in terms of evaluation in terms of thoughts that lead to certain negative emotions that are unnecessary?
Because if I restore rationality, I will not feel the same emotion to the same degree.
我们的想法常常是不理智的。
认知疗法要做的是重塑理性，告诉自己说：这很痛，很难，但是。。。
问自己：我在哪里扭曲了事实？我在哪里扭曲了对事件的评价和想法导致了不必要的消极情绪？当我回复了理性，我就不会感受到之前那种程度的情绪了。
2. 3 M’s – 3 traps of irrational thoughts 三个不理智想法的陷阱
1) Magnify – exaggerating something happens 放大，夸大发生的事实
Induction is very natural 通过事件归纳是很正常的
The All or Nothing approach – perfectionism
It’s catastrophizing failure, not seeing failure as an opportunity, as a steppingstone, but seeing it as the end of the world.
完美主义是“全”或“无”的想法，把失败灾难化，看不到失败带来的机会，不把失败看成成功的垫脚石，而是世界末日。
2) Minimizing – “tunnel vision” 缩小化，“隧道视野”
Tal举了一个例子，他在接受一次采访的时候说了一句觉得自己不该说的话，然后就一直反复在想自己多不应该说那样一句话，完全忘了他的书在当时成为了畅销书。
Cognitive therapy – bring realism into the equation. Zoom out, evaluation thought, irrational, recover more promptly.
认知疗法是把事实带回等式，把视野放大，重新评价自己的想法是不是不理智，以更快从负面情绪里复原。
3) Making up / fabricating 臆造
We personalize or we blame.
遇到困境，我们会归因自己或者责备他人。
Emotional reasoning 情绪归因
I am envious – I am a bad person 我感觉嫉妒，所以我是一个坏人。
We taking an emotion and making it into reality. Whereas instead of understanding an emotion is an emotion, it does not necessarily capture reality. It is my evaluation of reality.
我们常常把情绪当成事实。我们应该理解，情绪是情绪，情绪不一定是事实，只是我对事实的评价。
Ask yourself 常常问自己这些问题：
1. Is my conclusion tie to reality? 我的结论是事实吗？
2. Is it rational? 这理智吗？
3. Am I ignoring something important? 我有没有忽略了什么重要的东西？
4. What important evidence do I still need to take into consideration? 我还需要考虑什么重要的证据？
This is about disputing, it’s evidence, it’s get real. 这是跟自己争论，通过证据联系现实。
5. What am I magnifying? What am I minimizing? Am I falling into one of the traps? 我在放大什么？我在缩小什么？我有没有陷入3M陷阱？
6. Am I ignoring anything that is going well? 我有没有忽略美好的东西？
7. Am I ignoring anything that is not going well? 我有没有忽略需要改进的东西？
3. Self-fulfilling prophecy 自证预言
Looking at the 10% of the happiest people out there:
These people did not experience painful emotions any less times than the rest of the people. The difference between them and the rest was that they recovered more promptly as a result of different interpretations.
世界上最快乐的那10%的人不比其他人经历的痛苦情绪要少，区别在于他们因为对事情的不同解读能更快地从痛苦情绪里复原。
Events happen, things happen in the world, very often out of our control.
We don’t create everything that we encounter. Some of the events are bad, some are negative.
What matters more is what we do with them after, how we evaluate them.
And what happens is that our evaluation becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
世界上的事情一直在发生，而且常常不受我们的控制。我们不能创造我们遇见的事情，总会有负面的事情发生，重要的是我们怎么做，怎么评价这些事情，我们的评价就会成为自证预言。
There are no short cuts. There are no easy steps to well-being, to success, to high level of beliefs in ourselves. It takes work, it takes effort, whether it’s work visualizing, whether it’s hard work and coping, or whether it’s work learning to dispute irrational thoughts.
通向幸福，成功，自信都没有捷径。我们需要努力，无论是视觉化，面对处理，还是跟自己的非理性想法争论。
And it’s not enough to just understand it once and then we are all set. We are all inoculated for the rest of our lives.
并不是说我们现在明白了就够了，这需要一生的努力。
4. Focus 聚焦/关注
It appears that the way people perceive the world is much more important to happiness than objective circumstances.
人们看世界的方式比客观环境更能影响幸福水平。
We know a lot of people who seemingly have everything and they are still miserable.
While there are people who have very little, who have experienced hardship after hardship, and who never cease to celebrate life.
Then there are people who have everything going for them and really appreciate it, don’t take it for granted and are happy.
There are people who don’t have much and never cease to complain.
Happiness depends on what we choose to focus on.
有的人看起来什么都有了但是不快乐，有的人拥有的很少，不断经历苦难但是从来没有停止为生活喝彩，有的人拥有很多并心存感激，不把什么都当成理所应当，也有人拥有的不多并且一直抱怨。是否幸福取决于我们关注什么。
Emerson: To different minds, the same world is a hell and a heaven.
艾默生：对不同的人来说，一样的世界可能是地狱也可能是天堂。
Shakespeare: Nothing is good or bad, but thinking makes it so.
莎士比亚：没有好或者坏的东西，我们的思想区分了好坏。
Very often we complain about life and we think things are terrible and awful not realizing that we are the cause of it, either by imagining it and then beliefs become self-fulfilling prophesies, or because we just focus on what is not working.
我们常常抱怨生活觉得事情很糟糕但是没有意识到我们造成了这一切，或者通过想象然后信念变成自证预言，或者因为我们总是关注行不通的地方。
This does not mean that there is no objective terrible circumstances out there. But to a great extent, we co-create our reality.
这并不是说客观上不存在糟糕的情境，但是从很大程度上来说，我们对创造事实出了一份力。
Tal讲了一个故事，来自一本书Way of the Peaceful Warrior。
有一群工人，每天中午会在一起吃午饭。其中一个工人，每天打开饭盒都会抱怨：今天又吃花生酱和果冻三明治！终于有一天，一个工友问他，你那么讨厌吃花生酱和果冻三明治，为什么不告诉你老婆做点别的？这个工人说：我没有老婆，三明治是我自己做的！
Very often, we make our own sandwiches and we don’t even notice it because the questions that we ask determine our reality.
我们经常意识不到是自己给自己做了三明治，因为我们提出的问题决定了现实。
5. Two archetypes 两种原型
1) Benefit-finder 积极发现者
Focuses on what works, looks on the bright side of life, find the silver lining in the dark cloud, find miracle in the common.
这类人关注什么行得通，关注生活里的积极面，努力寻找乌云背后的阳光，从寻常里寻找奇迹。
The detached benefit-finder is certainly not an archetype that I would advocate nor would it lead to mental health in the long run.
不切实际的积极发现者不是我们说的原型，从长远来看对心理健康也不利。
There is a need in the world to respect reality.
尊重现实是很重要的。
2) Fault-finder 消极发现者
People who always focuses on things that don’t work. The fault-finder will find fault even in paradise.
这类人总是去关注什么行不通。他们在天堂里都能找到问题。
We all exist on the continuum of between the extreme fault-finding and extreme benefit-finding. Our target is to move a little bit more from the fault-finding toward the benefit-finding.
我们都在极端积极发现者和极端消极发现者的连续谱上。我们的目标就是离积极发现者更近一些。
Never let a good crisis go to waste. Crisis has the potential through growth.
Things don’t happen for the best but there are people who accept the situation and are able to make the best of it.
Stuff happens. We can either let it pollute or make fertilizer out of it.
永远不要浪费危机。危机里潜藏着成长。
总会有不如意的事情发生但是能接受现实的人更能从中获益。
事情总会发生，我们可以选择被打倒或者把它作为自己成长的养料。
3/8/2018
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