It is paradox for me to know myself. I always want eager to deny the feeling that I am expecting to do it great when others make it while I am not.
I am afraid that I can't make it as great as others. I can feel that I am frighten and can't have a great way to accept my failure. Maybe I am eager to be a perfect person.
Once you haven't finished a thing perfectly, you always deny every effort that you have done.
It doesn't matter, whatever happened you still have learned so many things, that is enough for you.
Don't expect too much or you will hurt yourself.
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