道德评判，不是说不能评判 —— 评判不可避免，是人的思考的一部分；强调的是不要从道德上评判，或者说给人贴道德上的标签：
When we speak this language, we judge others and their behavior while preoccupying ourselves with who’s good, bad, normal, abnormal, responsible, irresponsible, smart, ignorant, etc.
道德判断来的太快，让我们不能后退一步，关注事实，问：他为什么有这样的行为？满足什么需求？
Our attention is focused on classifying, analyzing, and determining levels of wrongness rather than on what we and others need and not getting.
这是害人害己的：
It is my belief that all such analyses of other human beings are tragic expressions of our own values and needs. They are tragic because, when we express our values and needs in this form, we increase defensiveness and resistance to them among the very people whose behaviors are of concern to us. Or, if they do agree to act in harmony with our values because they concur with our analysis of their wrongness, they will likely do so out of fear, guilt, or shame.
背后的原因在于，我们不时地混淆了事实、价值观以及道德评价，无意识地逻辑链条很可能是“事实→价值观评判→价值判断”：
Value judgments reflect our beliefs of how life can best be served.
关注事实，思考为什么；看到价值观差异，但不要评判其好坏，深信众生平等并知行合一。
作者甚至认为，这是绝大多数暴力言行的根因：
At the root of much, if not all, violence—whether verbal,
psychological, or physical, whether among family members, tribes,
or nations—is a kind of thinking that attributes the cause of
conflict to wrongness in one’s adversaries, and a corresponding
inability to think of oneself or others in terms of vulnerability—what
one might be feeling, fearing, yearning for, missing, etc.
如果看到对方的vulnerability（脆弱），我想如何再结合理解了对方的处境，也就能看到对方的情感、理解对方的需求。
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