第三讲:把家具清单变成文学
Perhaps it is the way God opens houses at dead of night when He is taking a quiet turn with an angel……
‘O-oh!’The Burnell children sounded as though they were in despair. It was too marvelous; it was too much for them. They had never seen anything like it in their lives. All the rooms were papered. There were picture on the walls, painted on the paper, with gold frames complete. Red carpet covered all the floors except the kitchen; red plush chairs in the drawing-room , green in the dining-room; tables, beds with real bedclothes, a cradle, a stove, a dresser with tiny plates and one big jug. But what Kezia liked more than anything, what she liked frightfully, was the lamp. It stood in the middle of the dining-room table, an exquisite little amber lamp with a white globe. It was even filled all ready for lighting, though of course you couldn’t light it. But there was something inside that looked like oil and that moved you shook it.
作者翻译
也许,当夜深人静,上帝与天使一起来巡视人间时,也是以这种方式,打开每一家的门吧。
“喔——喔”博内尔家的小孩惊喜地叫了起来。简直太美妙了,太出乎意料了。他们出生以来,从未见过这样的东西呢。所有的房间都糊上了壁纸,墙上还挂着画,是画在壁纸上的,还有金色的框框。除了厨房之外,所有地板都铺上了红色的地毯,客厅里摆着红丝绒椅子,餐厅里则是绿丝绒椅子。有桌子,有铺着真正床单的床,一个小摇篮,一个火炉,一个五斗柜,上面摆放着一叠小碟子,后一个尖嘴大水壶。但是姬采仪最喜欢的,喜欢得要命的,却是那盏灯,它摆在餐桌的正当中,有乳白色的灯罩与湖泊底座,像是已装满了油,随时可点燃呢。当然啦,你是无法点亮的。但是,灯里却装有像有一样的东西,摇摆它还会晃动呢。
我的翻译
沉寂的夜里,可能这就是上帝打开屋子的方式。同时,他还和一个小天使谈论着转变。
“哦!”Burnell家的孩子们发出了听似绝望的叫声。太不可思了!他们不敢相信自己的眼睛。这辈子,他们从没看过这样的东西。所有的房间都贴上了壁纸。墙纸边缘金光闪闪,里面沾满了图片。除了厨房,所有的地毯都铺上了红地毯。画室里有铺了红毛绒的椅子,餐厅的椅子则是绿色。红色被单的床,还有支架,炉子,一间装有小盘子和大水壶的碗橱。但是Kezia最喜欢的,最想要的是那盏台灯。它立在餐厅桌子的中央,灯罩是白色,精致得想一个琥珀。看起来像是要亮了,可是打不开。但台灯内部看起来像是有燃料,驱使着你去点燃它。
自评
文采:作者是从哪些角度描写玩具屋内部构造的?怎么描写小孩见到这么精致玩具的惊讶之情?如何把家具清单写出文学美感?
故事:“也许,当夜深人静,上帝与天使一起来巡视人间时,也是以这种方式,打开每一家的门吧。”此处有故事之感。
逻辑:“paper”为什么翻译成“壁纸”而不是“纸”?作者描写的玩具屋内九项物件各有什么特色?为何玩具屋会引起小孩子的惊叹?
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