修改前
Have a good day!
This is Sam from ABC factory producing Gloves. I am gald to know that you are a leading wholesaler of gloves. Hope to establish a good business relationship with you.
点评：这个开头有点平淡，不能让客户立即感受到和你做生意会有什么好处，或者建立客户和这封邮件的关联。
Our factory is one of the biggest glove factories in China with already 10 years’ history. We can provide you good quality gloves with good price and service. We have a lot of advantages for all kinds of Glove styles, Ladies, Men’s, Kids. Attached are some pictures of our products and workshops for your reference. Please check and let me know what kind of gloves you are interested, or you can show your styles for our offering.
点评：这个公司介绍部分是典型的以product feature来介绍的，也不能让客户产生关联感，以及给我什么好处。另外缺少支撑，因为人人都会说我是最好的。
We would like to take this opportunity to establish business relationship with you.If you want to know more about us, you can add me on your Skype or E-mail or visit our website as below my E-Business card. Maybe it is a start of our business. If you are interested in our goods, pls let me know . If you will attend the coming Canton Fair at April,2018 , pls don't hesitate to contact me at any time . we will waiting for you there and show our more good samples for your reviewing.
点评：不够简要，也未能给出充足的理由和动力让客户给你回复。
Any questions, Pls let me know at any time. Looking forward to your earlier reply!Best regards,
Sam
修改后
Dear John,
一定要找到合适的联系人，Dear sirs和Dear John的回复率有几倍的差异。你对着一群人喊一声“请去把门关一下。”看看有人回应你吗？如果你说“张三，请去把门关一下。”效果是完全不同的。Dear sirs,没有人觉得自己和这封邮件有什么关联，而Dear John,就是写给自己的，关联自然就产生了。
Good morning!
I just visited your web site, and know that you are the leading wholesaler in Poland for fashionable gloves, with prestigious reputation for the quality.
一开始就谈客户的情况，让客户建立起联系，这封邮件和他是相关的。
You may be happy to find a new reilaible source of gloves with superior quality & Reasonable prices. You can select from an abundant variety of premium quality Jeans with stylish originaldesigns updated every 6 monthes.
点出客户的利益。
Our factory has a capacity of XXXX gloves monthly, probably the largest in China. Since 2009, we have passed ISO9001, and all our products has CE certificate. I attach the certificate images in the next email,please find them.
自信的展现出自己的实力。
Our satisfied customers include XXX, XXX & XXX. I am confident that when you work with us, you will have the same satisfaction like them. To enable you to get a good understanding of our quality and service, we would like to extend a very special offer for your first sample order, with 15% (only limited to the first container).In the next email, I will attach you the product catalogs. Please tell me what items are more salable for you.
给出客户采取行动的理由和动力。
Best regards,
Sam
PS: We are also very capable to custom make for you. Please just tell me the styles you select.
进一步敦促客户采取行动。
其实开发信的关键就在于如何从标题就能吸引住客户打开邮件，正文部分要继续能抓住客户的注意力，让客户保持这个兴趣一直读下去，并在这个过程中被你的产品或者offer所打动，并最终采取行动回复你的邮件。
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