我的大女儿出生于北京，小学二年级8岁时移居加拿大，初中14岁时移居威尔士，高中16岁时移居英格兰，期间经历了一次次的转学：一个地方刚结交了要好的朋友，马上又到新的地方熟悉不同的环境，不但要克服语言和文化障碍，还要学会跟不同种族和肤色的人打交道等等。
她现在伦敦国王学院做实习医生，回头看学生时代所面对的一些痛苦经历和挑战，最后都变成了人生丰富的阅历和财富。正向她在进入伦敦一所著名女校（Henrietta Barnett School）读高中时竞选学生会领袖所发表的演讲：我曾经在四个不同的国家生活和学习过，这段经历让我学会了跟来自世界各地的人交朋友，不论你来自什么种族和文化背景，我都会用心去体会你的真实诉求。下面是她在就读布里斯托大学医学院和帝国理工双学位时对东西文化差异写的一点个人感悟，针对大家普遍认同的“香蕉人”“黄种人外表、白种人思维”这一理念进行了一些探讨。
by Eunice Xing (Bristol University)译 丁悦旸（上海外国语大学）
They call me “banana”, but personally I consider myself to be a “lemon”.
他们称我为“香蕉人”，但是我自认为是个“柠檬人”。
If you are a so called “BBC”, “ABC” or “CBC” you might be familiar with the term “banana”, used to refer to foreign-born Chinese – whether they are British (BBC), American (ABC), or Canadian (CBC). It supposedly alludes to our yellow-skinned appearance but whiteness on the inside. In the normal sense, I am not a legitimate “banana” as I was actually born in China – a “Beijing-nese”, I would sometimes brag – not having left the motherland for Canada until I was eight, and the UK when I was fourteen. And perhaps it is those first eight years in China that helped me to retain my very yellow core. After all, there is nothing quite like standing all day on TianAnMen Square as a second grader – declaring your allegiance to Chairman Mao to earn the coveted red scarf honglingjin, an emblem for successors of communism – to really get in touch with your Chinese side.
如果你是所谓的“BBC”（British-born Chinese，英国出生的华人），”ABC”（”American-born Chinese”，美国出生的华人），或者”CBC”（”Canadian-born Chinese”，加拿大出生的华人），你一定对“香蕉人”这个词并不陌生。“香蕉人”指国外出生的华人，无论他们是英国人（BBC），美国人（ABC），还是加拿大人（ABC），都统称为“香蕉人”；他们拥有黄种人的外表，白种人的思维方式。我并不是严格意义上的“香蕉人”，因为我出生在中国——我自诩为北京人——直到8岁才离开祖国去了加拿大，14岁才到英国。也许正是在中国的那8年时光让我保留了我黄种人的本质。毕竟，没有什么事情比二年级时站在天安门广场一整天——向毛主席表忠心来获得梦寐以求的共产主义接班人象征，红领巾——更能触及你作为中国人的一面。Worlds apart天壤之别
In today’s globalized economy, where Western brands have conquered most of China’s large and medium sized cities, and Chinese international students in the West buy into more Western high-end brands than domestic students, it could be increasingly difficult to detect cultural differences. But to me – leaving China at a time when Beijing still had mud-path roads, travelling by three-wheel-cart sanlunche rather than the tube was the norm, and we shopped in open-spaced markets rather than department stores – the differences are more striking.
经济全球化的今天，西方品牌已经占据了中国大部分大中型城市，而中国留学生的西方高档品牌消费也超过了西方本地学生的消费，洞察文化差异似乎变得日益艰难。然而，我离开中国时北京还有泥泞的马路；出行不靠地铁，而靠三轮车；购物不在百货商场，而在露天市场。对我而言，文化差异尤为显著。
Conservatism and confidence
保守与自信
Perhaps the biggest difference I identified is the gap in the type of character traits that are admired and desired between the East and the West. This of course does not apply to each and every individual, and times are changing; however, I believe this contrast still underpins the difference in the ways we socialise, learn and love. Above all else, I have learnt this: that the Chinese are more conservative where West people are more confident.
据我观察，东西方最大的差异在于所推崇的性格品质不同。当然，这一点并不适用于每个人，并且时代也不同了；然而，我认为这个差异仍然表现在我们交往、学习与恋爱方式的不同上。最重要的一点，就是我认识到：中国人更加保守，而西方人更加自信。
First love, and affections
初恋与爱慕
A good example of this distinction can be found in the media, and particularly in the increasingly popular topic of 'first love' in the Chinese film industry. The ideal female protagonist is innocent, sweet and quiet, and could not differ more from the women the West likes to portray: confident, sometimes sexy, but always strong. The female ‘first love’ in the recent hugely successful Taiwanese film, You Are the Apple of My Eye, would have been an unlikely protagonist in a Western film – unless she was a meek wallflower awaiting transformation over the course of the film (think along the lines of She’s All That, and other 'coming-of-age' rom-coms). These archetypes are echoes of real life: this character would be an ideal ‘first love’ in modern China, fitting into the popular “goddess” (or nushen) category – but in the West, she is more likely to be the awkward one in her social interactions, for her lack of expression and emotion. In relationships, only the most recent Chinese generations have begun to express affection comfortably, and display it outwardly. In the West, “public displays of affection” (PDA), within quite loose boundaries, have been a widely accepted societal norm for a while. It does not mean the Chinese love less – if anything, I would argue the Chinese are more family-centric – but rather that they have traditionally been more restrained when conveying feelings.
我们可以透过媒体，尤其是透过中国电影行业中越来越火爆的 “初恋” 这个话题，找到反映这个差异的绝佳事例。理想的女主角天真无邪，温婉安静，与西方热衷于塑造的自信、偶尔性感、但总是很坚强的女性形象迥然不同。最近大获成功的台湾电影《那些年，我们一起追的女孩》的“初恋”女主角，在西方电影中是不可能作为主角加以渲染的——如果她是性情温顺的“壁花”（舞会中没有舞伴而坐着看的人），随着电影剧情发展会进行蜕变，那就另当别论了（参照《窈窕美眉》以及其他“青春成长”型浪漫喜剧的剧情）。这些人物原型来源于现实生活：在现代中国，她们可能是理想的“初恋”，是“女神”——但是在西方，她们更可能是社交圈里格格不入的一员，因为她们缺乏情感，不善于表达。恋爱关系中，中国直到年轻的这一代人才会公开地表达爱慕，而不会感到局促不安。而在西方，社会长久以来对“公开秀恩爱”（PDA, public displays of affection)并没有一个严格的限定，接受度很高。这并不意味着中国人爱得不深——如果说中西方有区别的话，我坚信中国人更加以家庭为中心——而是说，在表达感情时，中国人历来更加委婉含蓄
Smaller social circles
社交圈小
Just as we are conservative in love, so the Chinese also like to socialise in tight-knit, familiar circles, whether for a ‘midnight snack' (yexiao) or karaoke. This is symbolic of the type of friendships that the Chinese cherish: close, devoted and lifelong. My grandmother’s recent funeral was attended by most of my father’s high school friends, and even some from primary school, despite him having left the country over a decade ago and only maintaining contact through WeChat. The Chinese treasure this sense of community and belonging – and by extension, the freedom and confidence shown in the West, the dancing amongst strangers at a party or a club, can seem almost sinful. The ability to make ‘small talk’ is a necessity in Western communities: during my work placements at investment banks in the UK, ‘networking’ was always a scheduled part of the programme. For the Chinese, formality and respect for hierarchy is often more appreciated in the building of connections (guanxi).
表达爱意时我们中国人态度内敛，同样，日常社交中，无论是吃夜宵还是唱卡拉OK，我们也更青睐熟悉亲密的社交圈。中国人所珍视的友谊归结为三点，就是亲密，奉献，持久。最近我祖母的葬礼上，大部分出席者自高中起就是我父亲的朋友，甚至有些从小学就是他的朋友，而我父亲十几年前就离开了祖国，仅仅依靠微信与他们保持联系。中国人珍视这种集体感和归属感——而对西方社会重视的自由和自信，比如派对或俱乐部里与陌生人跳舞，似乎觉得可以算一种罪过了。在西方社会，寒暄闲聊是一项必备技能：在我工作过的英国投行，建立关系网是固定项目。而中国人建立关系时，则更重视对前辈领导的礼节和尊重。
Modesty in education
教育中的谦逊
This conservatism is likely to derive from China's cultural encouragement of modesty, in friendship, in love and also in learning. There’s a saying that goes: “the gun shoots the bird that flies first”. The best students in China are often the ones who diligently learn what they are taught the best, the ones who can memorize and recite word-by-word. In contrast, the West admires those who are inquisitive, innovative and have the confidence to defy the already-stated. This may have much to do with the Chinese inclination for ‘face’ – the much used term for dignity – and to not ‘lose face’ by refraining from stating a potentially wrong answer. In contrast, the phrase ‘it’s not about getting it right or wrong’ would be familiar to anyone who has studied in a Western classroom.
这种内敛可能源于中国文化所推崇的谦逊，主要表现在友谊、爱情和学习中。中国有句古话叫“枪打出头鸟。”中国最优秀的学生往往勤奋钻研老师传授的知识，能将其牢记于心并逐字逐句地复述。相反，西方鼓励学生提问、创新、挑战权威。中国学生的内敛与中国人好面子（“尊严”的常用说法）有关，因为不说出可能错误的答案，就不会有丢脸的风险。相反，西方教育中，大家则更熟悉“无关对错”这一措辞。
Learning to discuss
学会讨论
I remember that I used to be annoyed at attending meetings in the West that did not reach a conclusion – perhaps it was the Chinese in me. It perplexed me how much talking went on. Isn’t it more efficient, I would wonder, to repeat and follow what has been done successfully before? My ‘face’ wishes me to speak only when I know with certainty that a thought is ‘accurate’ or can be accomplished. Chinese people often do not discuss the process and problems, but rather only speak of achievements – and even these are often not mentioned, out of Chinese modesty. Ironically, it was becoming the president of a leadership society at my medical school that made me see the power of discussion, and the importance of holding class debates with everyone involved. Speaking itself can be an expression and sharing of thought processes, correct or otherwise; it pushes the boundaries and evokes the opportunities for innovative ideas and novel prospects to emerge.
曾经，我也对参加西方会议时无果而终感到恼火——也许这就是中国人的本性在作祟。我对于到底谈论了什么感到困惑。我经常想，遵循以前的成功经验岂不是更有效率？我的“面子”使我只有在确信我想法精准或可操作时才讲出来供人参考。中国人不太讨论进程和问题，只说成果——甚至连成果都不常提，因为中国文化推崇谦逊。讽刺的是，我直到成为我们医学院的领导团主席，才见识了讨论的力量，意识到举办班级辩论、人人参与辩论的重要性。讲话本身就是表达并分享思考的过程，无关乎对错；讲话可以突破常规，迸发新理念，创造新前景。
Taking the best from both world
汲取中西精华
Identifying these differences is not about judging; rather, it is an act of appreciation by walking between the cultures. My younger years in Chinese education, rehearsing prose and poetry by memory and re-writing characters by the hundreds, has given me the discipline and dedication required to study medicine. On the other hand, my experiences of undertaking individual projects in Canada, participating in outside-the-box subjects such as media studies, and following extracurricular pursuits (such as being part of the head girl team at my school in the UK) have given me the necessary creativity for my second degree in business and management. For me, a big part of growing is learning and taking the best from both worlds.
识别中西方差异并不是要批判什么，而是通过游走在文化之间，理解欣赏这些差异。幼年在中国接受教育时大量背诵散文诗歌、抄写汉字，培养了我学医的必要品质，使我做事时更自律、尽力。另一方面，在加拿大负责个人项目，参与诸如媒体研究之类的创新型课题，参加课外活动（比如在英国学校成为主席团的一员），培养了我学习我的第二专业商业与管理所必备的创造能力。对我而言，成长有相当一部分是在学习并汲取中西方的精华。
Therefore I choose to remain not a “banana” but a “lemon”, yellow inside and out, as mother nature has intended for me – but my eyes and arms are wide open to embrace the diversity I am lucky to have around me.
因此，我选择做一个“柠檬人”而不是一个“香蕉人”。我内外都是黄种人，这是我天生拥有的——但我愿意睁大双眼，张开双臂，拥抱我周边我有幸拥有的所有不同。
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