M1课堂上,吴导让每个人选择自己最看重的三条价值观,并写出人生中最成功和最失败的事,以此检视自己的价值观。
在分组讨论环节小组同学说“我觉得有好多价值观都符合喔”,当时我有个疑惑:“为什么只能选3个呢,不能多选一些吗?”
这个问题经过几天无意识地酝酿,今天冒出了一个观点:其实价值观并不限于3个,课堂上只是由于时间有限,为了讲解方便而已。
经过对自我价值观的分析和解读,大家都理解了价值观对自己人生的重要性:价值观引发信念、信念引发选择、选择引发行动、行动引发结果。而关于这个主题,“我写下的价值观,是我拥有的,还是我向往的?”,周同学提出的这个问题,突然提醒了我——要看未来!
现有价值观的形成是长期的人生经历中所有的输入对个人的影响,最终凝结成某种价值观。而如果我想拥有某种价值观,那就应该选择向自我注入相应的经历和信息。
富兰克林在他的《自传》开篇,列出了十三条道德准则,他每天都会检视一次,并在表格里做上记号,据说他本人也没有完全做到自己要求的那样完美,但这也不妨碍他成为一个受人敬仰的智者。
教练是不断向内探索的过程,不仅是让客户向内探索,更是让自己向内探索。没有谁决定价值观应该有多少个,每个个体正是因此而大不相同,人生的可能性正在于此。找到和塑造自己的价值观组合,让它成为一个平衡轮,会是个很有意思的过程吧?!
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附:富兰克林道德准则 十三条
1. 节制:食不过饱,饮不过量;
TEMPERANCE. Eat not to dullness; drink not to elevation.
2. 节言:于人于己不利的话不说,避免琐碎的闲聊;
SILENCE. Speak not but what may benefit others or yourself; avoid trifling conversation.
3. 秩序:物件有所归,办事有定时;
ORDER. Let all your things have their places; let each part of your business have its time.
4. 决心:该做的事情一定要做,决心要做的事情一定要做好;
RESOLUTION. Resolve to perform what you ought; perform without fail what you resolve.
5. 节俭:花钱要于人于已有利,决不浪费;
FRUGALITY. Make no expense but to do good to others or yourself; i.e., waste nothing.
6. 勤劳:珍惜时间, 时间要花在做有用的事情上,力戒无意义的举动;
INDUSTRY. Lose no time; be always employ'd in something useful; cut off all unnecessary actions.
7. 诚实:力戒虚伪欺诈,心存良知与公正,说话亦如此;
SINCERITY. Use no hurtful deceit; think innocently and justly, and, if you speak, speak accordingly.
8. 正直:不做有损他人的事情,要做对人们有益的事情,这是你的义务;
JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
9. 中庸:不走极端, 别人对你的冒犯, 若是正当,就要善于容忍;
MODERATION. Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
10. 整洁:身体、衣物以及住所,要保持清洁;
CLEANLINESS. Tolerate no uncleanliness in body, cloaths, or habitation.
11. 宁静:对待琐事、平常事或者不可避免之事,不可自扰;
TRANQUILLITY. Be not disturbed at trifles, or at accidents common or unavoidable.
12. 贞洁:不要纵欲过度,有伤身体,切忌损害自己或者他人的安宁和名誉;
CHASTITY. Rarely use venery but for health or offspring, never to dulness, weakness, or the injury of your own or another's peace or reputation.
13. 谦虚:仿效耶稣与苏格拉底。
HUMILITY. Imitate Jesus and Socrates.
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