One reason that it is meaningless is that the parents themselves are unself-disciplined,and therefore serve as undisciplined role models for their children.They are the "Do as I say,not as I do" parents.They may frequently get drunk in front of their children.They may fight with each other in front of their children without restraint,dignity or rationality.They may be slovenly.They make promises they don't keep.Their own lives are frequently and obviously in disorder and disarray,and their attempts to order the lives of their children seem therefore to make little sense to these children. If father beats up mother regularly,what sense does it make to a boy when his mother beats him up because he beat up his sister?Does it make sense when he's told that he must learn to control his temper? Since we do not have the benefit of comparison when we are young,our parents are godlike figures to our childish eyes.When parents do things a certain way,it seems to the young child the way to do them,the way they should be done. If a child sees his parents day in and day out behaving with self-discipline,restraint,diginity and a capacity to order their own lives,then the child will come to feel in the deepest fibers of his being that this is the way to live. If a child sees his parents day in and day out living without self-discipline,then he will come in the deepest fibers of being to believe that that is the way to live.
它们是毫无意义的一个理由是父母他们自己就是不自律的，因此他们在孩子们面前树立着不自律的榜样。他们是"说一套，做一套"的父母。他们可能经常在孩子们面前喝醉。他们可能当着孩子们的面相互殴打，毫无克制，尊严和理性。他们可能邋遢不堪。他们随意许诺却又做不到。他们自己的生活经常明显是混乱的，一团糟的，因此他们安排孩子们秩序生活的企图对孩子们来说看起来是毫无意义的。如果父亲经常殴打母亲，当母亲因为他殴打妹妹而打他有什么意义呢？告诉他他必须学会控制他的脾气还有意义吗？因为当我们小的时候，我们还没有分辨是非的能力，在我们孩童的眼里，我们的父母就是上帝般的人物。当父母以某种方式做事，在小孩子看来，这似乎是做这些事情的方式，应该做的方式。如果一个孩子看父母天天行为自律，然后孩子会从他的内心深处感到这就是对待他的生活的方式。如果一个孩子看父母天天行为不自律，然后孩子会从内心深处相信这就是对待生活的方式。
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