It was already 7 pm when I arrived home yesterday. Boya cooked noodles with a poached egg, shrimp and cabbage. It was delicious as the soup somehow became amazingly white and tasty. He said it was because he cooked it on a high fire. The boys also enjoyed the noodles very much.
After dinner, the kids asked to watch Ultraman movies and I said it was not a good idea. They decided to watch Peppa pig instead. For the first time in my life, I sat down and started to enjoy the cartoon. I wondered why I did not take time to enjoy it.
The reason was back then, I was very anxious and always wanted to spend time productively. This sense of anxiety and insecurity pushed me to focus on things that can reward me in a practical way. For example, I believe reading would enhance my language and help me know more about unknown important areas, so I spend lots of time reading. I was a very pragmatic person.
Now, I am happy that I am not that result oriented any more. I pay more attention to my feelings and allow myself to slack and not to be the best of myself.
Actually, to lie flat and slack is not necessarily bad. I get to enjoy the beauty of human relationship, the charisma of seemingly meaningless things in daily life.
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